Google the phrase “warrior archetype,” and you will find magnificent stories of gods and goddesses from many cultures and traditions that highlight personal qualities inspiring us to thrive in the face of challenges. Warriors don’t simply fight; they show courage, strength, and perseverance as they take a stand for what they know to be true.
The journey to discover inner peace is a ruthless one that requires the qualities of the warrior. This post defines inner peace and explains why warrior qualities are needed, and the next one will expand on the specific virtues that help us walk the path to peace. The starting point is the longing to be free, to end the inner war with our own experience that brings us stress, confusion, and dissatisfaction. When we are finished with the futility of old habits and want to know the truth more than anything, we are ready for the journey; we have become warriors for happiness and for peace.
The Inner War
The inner war is perpetuated by resistance – that is, not wanting to feel the way we feel, not wanting people to do what they are doing, not wanting events to occur as they are occurring. Resistance wants to rewrite our personal histories and ensure that our plans materialize. When we resist, we are locked in to what we want and are not open to what life is actually offering us. Our mottos are “no” and “not this.” We then react internally with physical tension, frustration and despair, and a mind spinning with opinions and justifications. We go on to resist these reactions by minimizing them, avoiding them, or wishing they would change. Does this sound familiar?
Inner Peace
There is only one kind of peace, which is inner peace. Why? There is no “outer peace” because we are not in charge of the circumstances of our lives. We cannot design the world to our liking or even control our own thoughts and feelings. Peace is not to be found in any temporary arising; that is, anything that comes and goes, which includes events, people, objects, thoughts, emotions, etc. If we stake our happiness on things that are temporary, what happens when they appear or disappear? There goes our happiness. This truth begs the essential question: Do you want passing happiness or enduring peace?
The Way to Inner Peace
Peace is revealed to us when we stop resisting what we experience. It is an invitation to live in the “Yes!” Here’s how:
- Turn your attention inward to the emotions and physical sensations that you are experiencing. This means you are not focusing on the events in your world or on the mental stories running in your mind. You are being conscious of your own inner experience. Even if your inner experience is resistance itself, be curious about meeting it directly.
- Welcome these experiences with friendliness, curiosity, and allowing – just as they are. They might be painful feelings or subtle tensions in the body. Notice every single thing about them so that you see them completely.
- Recognize any beliefs you have about how things should or shouldn’t be. Realize that feeding these beliefs sustains resistance to what is. See what feeling is driving them, and receive the feeling as is in your loving awareness.
- Repeat #1, #2, and #3 any time a reaction arises in you. Learn what it feels like to be alienated from yourself, and use this feeling as a signal to wake up and be attentive to what you are experiencing.
This is it: inner peace! As acceptance becomes a way of life for you, no matter what events happen or what you feel, you are at peace with your experience. You are receiving it in openness, allowing it in rather than pushing it away.
Sounds easy? Well, not always. Some of our habits and reactions are so highly conditioned that they seem to have power over us. We tend to hold on to what we are familiar with, even if it doesn’t serve us. What is needed is the way of the warrior – a longing so strong and so all-encompassing, that resistance burns like a holy fire. The next post describes the warrior qualities – maybe just what you need to get out of a rut, open up opportunities (and your heart), and view the world through fresh eyes.
Arvind Devalia says
What a great post!
Gail this is my first visit to you blog and I am glad I found my way here.
I have just finished reading the “Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman and last Sunday, I also watched the DVD of the first book – “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”
So it is no accident that I ended up on this post.
You have given me a lot of insights which I am going to apply right now. For a start I am feeling exhausted so will get aware of just what is going on and meet head on whatever I find.
Maybe I just need to stop resisting and catch up on some sleep!
I look forward to reading the next article.
Gail, I would love to also find the inner peace that you clearly have, as outlined in your “About Page”. 🙂
Gail Brenner says
A warm welcome to you, Arvind! Thanks so much for visiting and for your comment. I appreciate your longing and sincere desire for peace. I know exactly what that is like. If you nurture it, it will surely bear fruit.
Wishing you sweet dreams as you catch up on your sleep….
Arlene says
I love coming to your posts as they continually remind me of things to do or what I have learned.
I too have read the Dan Millman books many years ago, but for some reason his stories have not stuck with me.
I had found my inner piece with a weekend seminar of The Journey (although helpful, I am not a big fan of other people’s belief systems) and have continued with it through The Sedona Method, a much simpler method which allows me to take responsibility for my feelings without suppressing them and which does not follow any particular belief system.
You are right about our habits and conditioning having such a hold over us that it takes the strength of a warrior to persist in overcoming these (another word for tenacity?), but it is all worth it.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Arlene,
Thanks so much for your comment. I completely agree about not taking on other people’s belief systems, or even the ones generated by our own minds! Interesting to explore what is left when all belief systems fall away…
I’ve been thinking about effort recently. There’s such an elegant balance in cultivating the persistence and strength of the warrior to overcome the force of conditioned habits and meeting experience just as it is. When we notice or allow or welcome what is, there is simply an opening with no effort. This is peace: no doing, no strategizing, simply being. Even allowing is too strong a word. The force of habits can appear, but they are seen fully rather than taking us away.
I hear your deep desire to know peace, and am happy for your realizations.
Linda@insanelyserene says
Gail,
I just found your blog and enjoyed reading through the posts on habits and this one on inner peace. Peace of mind is my passion. I have spent many years struggling with negative thinking and fear, and have finally found tools and a path toward serenity no matter what the outside conditions. I agree with you that willingness and openness are critical ingredients. I’d also throw in there honesty – specifically self-honesty – the ability to examine the good and the bad without judgment but simply to use the information for the good of one’s self-growth. Thank you for your blog.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Linda. A warm welcome to you…I love your addition – self-honesty. Truth-telling without judgment, with a lot of love, is essential to be free. We need to become fully aware of what what we are thinking, doing, and feeling in order to be at peace with it. The process is so rich. Every experience can support our awakening. Thanks so much for your comment. Sending love…
joseph says
“Even if your inner experience is resistance itself, be curious about meeting it directly.”
What does “resistance itself” mean. I do not understand this part, could you give an example ?
Gail Brenner says
I appreciate your question, Joseph. This sentence means that sometimes we resist. And when we notice that we’re resisting, we can get to know the experience of resistance.
Say, for example, that you have a habit of being very busy in your daily life. You constantly make plans so you’re not alone. You go out with friends a lot and end up drinking too much. You stay late at work and make sure you don’t have quiet time to yourself. All this activity is to hide from some feelings that may be too scary or difficult to feel. So you are resisting what is actually true in your experience. The feelings are there, but you are avoiding them. And when I say inner experience, I mean your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
If you are interested in inner peace, then you can recognize that all this busyness is a way to hide from your feelings, in other words the activity resists your feelings. Meeting resistance directly is an invitation to feel what it’s like to resist the truth of your experience. You can ask, from a place of curiosity:
This is an inquiry that allows you get to know this experience of resistance. And as you do that, you aren’t resisting resistance. You are actually being at peace with resistance. You may not like what you discover, but you are allowing it to be there. This is a powerful practice that helps to dissolve conditioned habits that bring unhappiness to your life.
Does that make sense? Any more questions?
joseph says
Thankyou
joseph says
“Even if your inner experience is resistance itself, be curious about meeting it directly.”
What does “resistance itself” mean.
I do not understand this part, could you give an example ?
Can you define inner experience.