“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.”
Shakti Gawain
I saw the film “Crazy Heart” yesterday. Jeff Bridges plays an alcoholic country singer who connects with Jean, the lovely mother of a 4-year-old son. At the climax of the story, Jeff Bridges’ character loses the little boy in a mall while he is at a bar having a drink. In the aftermath once the boy is recovered, Jean screams something like, “I knew in every bone of my body not to get involved with you, but I did.”
This got me thinking. How is it that we know in our bones the best course of action for ourselves, yet we take another path? And how often does it come back to bite us? We even have a phrase for it – against our better judgment. If our judgment is so good, why are we going against it?
The “Yes!”
Let’s begin our exploration of this important topic by looking at what it is like to know something in your bones. For me, I just know it. There is a definitiveness, an undeniable truth, a “yes!” This knowing does not arise from the logical and rational mind. It is not caused by emotions. It is clarity, pure and simple, that seems to just appear in my consciousness.
I was recently speaking to someone who was deliberating about a decision. I asked her if she ever had the experience of “yes,” of knowing something was absolutely true for her. She brightened, and told me about her clarity in deciding to marry her husband and in choosing a fulfilling career.
Isn’t this something we all know – this deep inner certainty?
Listening and Turning Away
Spiritual teacher Adyashanti says that truth is always speaking to us. The voice might be quiet, but it is ever present, guiding us to navigate the river of our lives with perfect intelligence. Are we listening, or is the inner cacophony too deafening to hear?
We can make our way to that still, small voice of truth by recognizing what makes us turn away from it.
- It is not the voice in our heads telling us what we should or shouldn’t do.
- It is not a story justifying our actions.
- It may not look logical.
- It is not what we are propelled to do out of fear.
- Or out of neediness.
- It cannot be discerned when we are clouded by strong emotions.
When our internal experience is crowded with stories, opinions, doubt, justifications, fear and other emotions, we aren’t quiet enough to allow the truth to be heard. And this is where we get into trouble.
Consider Jean from “Crazy Heart.” She knew in her bones not to continue the relationship but was misled by desire, inadequacy, and romantic ideals. I know I have made similar choices in my life. How about you?
If we make life decisions by listening to the noise – and not the silence – these decisions come from fear and unconsciousness. And we eventually suffer the consequences.
As we all know, the pull of the “noise” can be very strong. So strong that we don’t even consider stopping, pausing, inquiring into what is best or right. We blindly choose, or we opt for what seems logical or appropriate. We take the path that fits our ideas of how things are supposed to be. We are swayed by intense emotions.
We ignore the gentle tap on the shoulder that could show us the way.
Discover the Still, Small Voice
How do we know when truth is talking?
- It moves us toward love – for ourselves and others.
- It ultimately brings enjoyment.
- There is no sinking feeling that something is wrong.
- The body unclenches.
- There is a sense of clarity, excitement, or relief, an undeniable knowing.
It’s fascinating to become familiar with your inner wisdom, and here are some ways to experiment.
- Go to the grocery store without a list. Bring your attention inside, and listen to where you are directed to go.
- Rather than doing an automatic behavior, such as turning on the TV after dinner, sit quietly and see what you feel moved to do.
- Let go of your morning routine. Stay in bed, and wait for the inner signal to do the next thing, and the next. (At first, you may want to wait for the weekend for this one.)
The true path for our lives cannot be figured out or created. Our job is simply to listen, and in the listening, we will be given all the guidance we need to do exactly the right thing. When we listen, life unfolds mysteriously. We get out of our own way and allow the still, small voice to be heard.
How have you turned away from your inner wisdom? What have you learned? What is your experience with the experiments described above to get to know the quiet inner voice? I’d love to hear….
How to Cope with Pai says
I am familiar with the phrase “still, small voice within” from Quakerism, and wondered if you are Quaker.
Gail Brenner says
Hi,
Thanks so much for visiting A Flourishing Life!
No, I’m not a Quaker; I don’t ascribe to any specific religion. I researched the phrase before I published this post, and found that “still small voice” is in the Bible. As far as I know, it is not associated with any particular religion. It is a lovely phrase, though, that speaks to an aspect of our being that we can all resonate with.
Zola Morris says
That phrase came first from the Bible, not from the Quaker.
Greg Blencoe says
Gail,
Thanks for the post. I really enjoyed reading it.
I have found that my inner guidance is pretty much always right. I can’t remember a time when it has been wrong.
However, as you mentioned, the guidance is not always logical. But everything usually does make sense once enough time has passed and you look back on what happened.
I have found that trusting my guidance allows me to plan much less. Since what happens next week, next month, or next year is often unexpected and out of our control, I find it much easier and more productive to mainly focus on doing what my inner guidance leads me to today.
While I always have a general idea of where I’m going, I am very open to change and just let things unfold as they may.
Esther Hicks via Abraham talks about only doing things that feel good. Basically, when I trust my inner guidance and do what feels good, I am led in the right direction.
Meditating every day really helps quiet my mind, so the inner guidance comes through clearly. As you mentioned, the voice inside can easily get ignored by listening to all of the “noise” in our lives.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Greg,
This is a beautiful description of inner guidance and surrendering to it. Thanks so much! The listening and following the inner voice take place in the moment. Planning can be useful, but we actually know what is going to happen when it actually happens. It’s living in this tremendous openness, which is so freeing.
I think I know what you mean about doing what feels good, but just to be clear: Following inner guidance is not about hedonism and doing whatever one feels like. In fact, it is a surrender of personal wants and desires to the universal flow of life, the intelligence that is greater than anything our minds could come up with. I have been in situations where “I” really wanted to go in a given direction, but the inclinations coming through were telling me differently. Picture an alcoholic who really wants to get sober standing at the doorway of a bar. If he follows his desire, he will enter and have a drink. If he surrenders the personal and listens, he might move on.
The more we are willing to know how our habits work, the more the noise dies down, leaving the possibility of hearing our true intelligence.
Topi says
I’ts the sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me when I’m on the wrong path. I try not to confuse it with other feelings – nerves, excitement, apprehension. They can feel similar, but when I stop and examine those feelings I know what’s causing them. The sinking feeling needs no explanation, it’s just because it’s wrong! Thanks for this lovely post.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Topi,
I’m so glad you mentioned that sinking feeling. It’s in the body, part nausea, part dread – the body saying, “No!” You are so wise to investigate the feelings so you can be clear about what is going on. With this level of conscious awareness, you have the freedom to choose. And noticing the sinking feeling offers some important information.
I imagine I’m not alone, but I’ve had situations happen where I have the sinking feeling, I know better, my “better judgment” is speaking, and I still go against all of these. Kind of like Jean from “Crazy Heart.” These situations have become great learning experiences. And we keep getting the lessons until we learn them.
Greg Blencoe says
Gail,
Yes, this is what I was talking about when I mentioned feeling good.
Perhaps the right way to put it would be “going with the flow” (which is similar to what you said in your response) or “not trying to make things happen.”
I notice that when I try to make things happen, it doesn’t feel very good.
Gail Brenner says
Your last sentence really clarifies it, Greg…thanks! There is something off about trying to make things happen. It starts with an idea about how we think things should look, or how we want them to look, then we try to make reality conform to that picture.
A friend of mine talks about feeling your way into things. You take a step, see how it feels, then go from there. It’s beautiful to be so conscious and alive! In the flow….allowing life to unfold and answers to emerge.
Catrien Ross says
Gail, thank you for another insightful post. The still, small voice for me often prompts at first as a physical sensation. And of course, I am picking up information through the senses in my energy field that are way ahead of my mental constructs. Just a little sensation, perhaps only a nudge of concern, or an almost imperceptible tingling that something is not quite right, and if I ignore this, or try to mentally justify myself into something I already understood at this deep level as not being appropriate for me – well, the consequences are another lesson to be learned, teaching me to pay more attention, to be more aware, next time. I am grateful for the generosity of this universe that gives me so many next times to know better! Much love to you from the mountains in Japan – Catrien Ross.
Gail Brenner says
Warm greetings to you, Catrien.
I love that you mention the body as the first inclination that something is not quite right, that you may be moving away from the truth of the moment. And yes, every time we turn away is an opportunity to know ourselves even deeper. We all don’t always take that opportunity, but if we see clearly, we will notice that we are given exactly what we need. The universe, life, is generous, and when we receive the gifts without resistance, the lessons are no longer needed, and we are at ease with life.
Your beautiful words enlighten my evening. Thank you…
Cheryl Paris says
Hello Gail,
All I can say is vow. There is a voice within which tells us which path to go for. Most of the times we are wrong and some times we are correct. The times we are wrong we become more experienced towards a great chapter in life which has its own way to teach us.
The most important part is to listen – one who can listen can understand – one who can understand – get the task done correctly with less or no errors at all.
Bye for now,
Cheryl Paris Blog
Gail Brenner says
Hi Cheryl,
A warm welcome to you! Thanks so much for your visit and your comment.
Listening is the key, isn’t it? When we listen to the inner “voice,” we seem to know which way is aligned and which way is off. And for people who are self-reflective and wanting to suffer less, we listen more over time and eventually start to get it right.
I love that you see those “wrong” turns as opportunities. When we turn away from what is true for us, sometimes over and over, we are being offered a lesson. Take for example, someone who chooses the same type of partner several times, always blaming him or her for problems in the relationship – when, in actuality, each time is an opportunity to learn about how one makes the choice. I have seen in my own life that once I get the lesson, the I don’t need the teaching opportunities anymore, and life flows with more ease.
I’m so glad to hear your perspective, Cheryl.
Marko @ CalmGrowth says
Interesting post. I am attracted to your way of writing, when I get started to read, I read to the end of the post. 🙂
Once I explored the intuition and similar topics, for my personal needs. There are numerous theories of how it works. Someone said that there is inserted “life energy” that circulates through all, and warns us of the negative impacts.
Someone else said that it was a subconscious mind that remembers everything we have ever seen, and to decide for us.
It does not matter what I think, because beliefs change over time, but one is for sure – there is something that warns our body about negative impact.
I experienced it, as well as many other people.
Our choice is to be skeptics or not. To believe our inner choice, or logic…
Anyway we choose, the game of life will become interesting, and we will learn a lot… 🙂
Gail Brenner says
Hi Marko,
So glad that you are enjoying the blog!
Thanks for adding into the conversation your research about intuition. It’s interesting to try to understand how a phenomenon works. Then, ultimately, as you suggested, we let go of the why’s and see what is true in our own experience. If someone is a skeptic, I would recommend experimenting. Listen to the inner voice, follow it, see how it feels and what happens. Then figure out a logical choice, and do the same. Over time, it will become clear what works.
I encourage everyone to not take for granted what I write about, not adopt it as true, but to find out in your own experience what is real. That is the true laboratory and the only place it matters.
I love being a student of life, and it sounds like you are a kindred spirit. It begins and ends in the heart.
Armen Shirvanian says
Hi Gail.
That still, small voice within me is a genius, but gets ignored due to emotion, or due to some impulsive thoughts. If I listened to it all the time, I’d be running the world.
Those points about how we know the voice of truth is talking are right on point. That sinking feeling is not enjoyable in any way, and it always signals later disappointment. It also lacks that clenched feeling of temporary self-preservation.
I’d say that more than 95% of people ignore that voice many times daily. It has all the answers, but the process is not usually instantly gratifying.
I haven’t seen this concept brought up like this before, and it will likely come up in my mind at times.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Armen,
You have the gift of clarity – of communicating in such practical terms. I sometimes think about what the world would be life if all of us were even 2% more conscious. It’s amazing the world functions as well as it does with all the mistaken understanding and lack of awareness.
That clenched feeling, often in the gut, is about temporary self-preservation. We are afraid of the unknown, of stepping out of the comfort zone, so we armor ourselves against the threat of losing control.
Another great point you make is that listening to our inner guidance is not usually gratifying. We may be moved to do something that seems illogical or not understandable. To follow the inner voice, we must be willing to act on it anyway, to trust that it is taking us to the next step on our journey that is just the right one for us. It’s a courageous journey.
If most people ignore the inner voice most of the time, which I totally agree with, that speaks to the opportunity of shifting/transforming. When just a few people choose to make a change, there is a universal shift in energy and intention. Any small change really makes a difference. We hesitate to listen to the voice out of fear – of knowing what it will say and of giving up our treasured stories and belief systems. When we meet the fear, we can step into our real life that is quietly waiting for us all the time.
Chris Edgar says
Thanks for this — it reminds me of something I’ve been reflecting on recently — that logic can help us get where we want, but it can’t tell us what we want — for that we have to get attuned to the body, which tends to get downplayed in our culture as irrational and primitive.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Chris,
You make an important point in your comment. Logic and practical uses of the mind definitely have their place – they help us to function in the world. But, and you say it very well, logic can’t tell us what we want. The body is the secret messenger. If we let go of our minds and bring our attention into the body, there are always clues about the next step, even if what is heard is not to take the next step. The insight is to let go of glorifying the mental processes and allow deeper experiences to inform our lives.
Great to have you visiting the site!
SelfImprovementSaga says
“Rather than doing an automatic behavior, such as turning on the TV after dinner, sit quietly and see what you feel moved to do.” I love this suggestion. Its so freeing to listen to the voice of my inner guidance instead of operating on auto pilot.
Gail Brenner says
It is freeing, Nea, because when we listen, we step off the wheel of repeating our conditioned habits And the lovely thing is that you never know what you will discover! If we let the inner guidance take over, if we surrender to it, we are stepping into the unknown. We are getting out of the way of our own lives and allowing them to flow.
Thanks so much for your insight, Nea…Wishing you well….
Sibyl - alternaview says
Gail: This post really resonated with me and I particularly appreciated you pointing out that our job is to just listen. I know that sometimes I may begin to analyze exactly what I should do, but the reality is that as you pointed out, the answer is always there. Our only job is to listen. Thanks for the very insightful and helpful article.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sybil!
Thanks so much for your comment. It is a radical idea just to listen and not try to figure everything out, but ultimately it is relaxing. We don’t need to do anything or put out effort – all we need to do is listen.
This way of being has changed my life dramatically. When I catch myself trying to look at all the aspects of a situation, seeing what’s important, thinking about what I “should” do, I stop. I know all the mental activity isn’t going to be helpful, so I just listen. Then the appropriate action flows. Life is so much easier!
Great to have you visiting!
Farouk says
you know Gail, lots of the emotional problems people face in this world is strongly connected to lack of communication between them and their inner voices that’s why i have to congratulate you on this post 🙂
Gail Brenner says
Welcome, Farouk! So glad to have you visiting the site!
I appreciate your comment. When we get pulled into old mental and emotional patterns, we are unable to clearly hear the truth whispering underneath. Becoming aware of these patterns is essential to being able to hear the inner voice.
Linda Wolf says
Gail,
Another wonderful post. I love your writing, I love your practicality. The bit-by-bit, incremental process is what worked for me, so I really relate to your suggestions.
In fact, the way I learned to listen to my inner guidance included the idea you mention about changing one’s morning routine. For a few years, my favorite vacation was to take a week (or two is absolute luxury), when I lived alone, and just do WHATEVER I wanted to, every day. As you mention, it was about asking myself what felt right as the next thing to do. Sometimes, it was “nothing.” And for awhile, that felt REALLY uncomfortable. I was brought up to be a human doing, not a human being. I felt best when productive. So slowing down, doing things like eating, sleeping, exercising, and that’s IT, that was completely revolutionary. It was like boot camp for self-care. It was hard at first! Now, I love it. I was just away for the weekend at a hotel by the ocean, and it was a chance to take each moment as it came, decide to walk outside and sit in the sun (felt like the first sun of the year here in New England!!), and just stay quiet there for as long as I felt like it.
I encourage others to give themselves the latitude to do this kind of work slowly, notice where you’re comfortable, where you’re uncomfortable. But keep going!
What you say, Gail about the difference between hedonism and listening to that inner voice – it’s a very subtle thing to describe. We do have an inner intelligence, and it isn’t the ego, which chooses pleasure for the sake of pleasure. I wonder how many of us are interested in meeting and getting to know that inner intelligence, because it seems so much harder to get in touch with that way of “feeling good” compared to the quick fix the ego seeks.
Thanks so much for your blog, it really enriches my thinking.
Linda
Gail Brenner says
Linda,
Your experience is a testament to what’s possible. I love how you describe that just listening is not always easy, especially at first, but it is absolutely revolutionary.
This process of listening is a process. There is sometimes so much going on, it may be hard to discern the true voice. Then the path is simply meeting everything that is arising, exploring it, letting it simmer and percolate. Eventually, the true direction will become clear. As with all self-reflection, bringing compassion to the exploration is essential.
I also appreciate your blog, Linda. You are so humble in the ways you express yourself.
rob white says
Hi Gail, Lovely article. I especially enjoy your pragmatic advice at the end. You offer some wonderful tips to carry it into the day and ‘act as though it is so.’
Children naturally trust their intuitive sense, their inner guidance system until they are taught that the world is a dangerous place and they cannot rely on themselves to navigate their journey through life. We all still have that voice that whispers deep inside. It is the genuine pleasure of thinking for yourself.
I have found that when I am able to detect and shun false advice offered by the frantic world; and turn deep within and ask my inner guidance system to help make the right choices I am never led astray.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome, Rob! Thanks so much for visiting and for your comment.
A love your point about children. They haven’t yet been sidetracked by all the conditioning and are still in touch with the truth. A model for us all to learn from….
I also appreciate that you ask your inner guidance for help. This kind of intentional connection is welcoming. It speaks to your willingness to listen, so the messages can come through clearly.
Cybil says
Loved this post. Especially enjoyed the tips toward the end – the ways to experiment. It’s so important to listen and do what we’re moved to do. Thank you for the generous reminder.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Cybil,
Welcome! So glad to have you visit the site!
I love experimenting. Some of the things I talk about on this blog can bring up fear and resistance. If sweeping changes in our lives are going to come, they will happen of their own accord. All we need to do is practice in the moments. And starting smal, like in the grocery store, is an ideal way to do that.
Thanks so much for your comment…
Sibyl - alternaview says
Gail: I really liked this post. It is so true that sometimes the noise can be distracting and overpower our inner voice. I think we have to continually work at learning exactly how we need to listen and we get better and better at hearing our voice over time. I have noticed that the voice has gotten louder and louder and my hope is that eventually it will overtake all the noise. Thank you for the insights.
.-= Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..How to Figure Out What You Were Meant to Do =-.
Gail Brenner says
So great to hear from you, Sybil!
I imagine that your life must be in the process of being transformed if you are getting better at hearing the inner voice. The more we listen to it, the easier it gets for sure.
Wishing you well along your journey….
Leisa | Wealth, Wisdom and Success says
Luckily I learned at a very young age to pay attention to that “still small voice.” I had experience after experience that proved I could rely on it.
Even with all my experience in seeing the results one time I thought that it was fear I was feeling. I had been in two car accidents and had some fear of being on the road. One day I “felt” I shouldn’t pull out of the driveway. It was felt in my gut – but that, at least for me, is where fear also resides. After analyzing that thought for a while I thought I was just being fearful and I went ahead and pulled out and onto the road. A short time later I was rear-ended by a guy who had been stopped at a near-by light.
It was a great lesson to me. I then found that I hung onto the pain for some time as a constant reminder to me to pay attention. The day I realized that I let it go and the pain began to go .
Thankfully, releasing the fear also resulted in no more accidents.
.-= Leisa | Wealth, Wisdom and Success´s last blog ..My Extrasensory Perception; Part 2 of My Life Story =-.
Gail Brenner says
Fabulous example, Leisa!
Listening is one very important aspect of trusting the inner guidance, and another is discernment or discrimination. We sometimes need to be very clear and precise to see if a feeling or urge is true or conditioned. Conditioned feelings like fear, that also have a bodily component, can be tricky. The inner guidance doesn’t run on fear, it goes by something deeper. So if there is confusion or uncertainty, it helps to look underneath the feeling (e.g., fear), to see if a clear message can be seen. If I could give any advice, it would be to not rush the process, allow yourself to not know if you are not clear, and wait until the truth distills out.
When the letting go happens, as you describe with the pain, the energy around the issue is freed up. So no need for any more teachings in the form of car accidents!!
dave says
A bit late in commenting on this article but here,s my thoughts on The Small Quiet Voice within.
There seems to be two voices in your head , one is loud, demanding, urging , it judges ,condemns always wants more, your ego.
The other unlike ego is non of these , it is more of a gentle nudge , it suggests or sometimes makes a statement , it is very easy to over rule. You can ignore the quiet voice easily but that small quiet voice is your true friend , and will always lead you on the right path.
Gail Brenner says
There is no such thing as late here, Dave. I’m so glad you stopped by and left a comment.
You have described these different voices very well. The voice of truth is quiet – a gentle judge. That’s what makes listening so important. It’s a matter of turning the volume down on the noise and paying attention to what is really important, as you say, your true friend.
I have a feeling you are an astute listener, which makes for a blessed life.
dave says
Thanks Gail . Yes i have become a very good listener , because i realised that the small quiet voice that we refer to is in fact our true self , our natural wonderful pure being. It has been with us since birth but has been covered with what the ego sees as its main reason for existence- to protect ,the first time someone was unkind to us when we were small children we began creating a shield and in the inevitable ups and downs of life have been adding to that protective shield to a point that all we hear is commands from ego barking out orders — thats not fair- he should not do that- i hate them – i want this. We have mistaken this as me . I believe that we need to reconnect with our innate divine intelligence ” the small quiet voice within” otherwise we are deprived of the knowledge and solutions that it can unfold.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Dave,
You have mastered the art of listening to the still small voice within! With this understanding, you can see the other voices that might pop up to confuse us, and realize they are not truth. These other voices aren’t a problem. They just arise from conditioning, as you describe. Our only job is to listen – and receive. And I love how you say that if we don’t, we are deprived of the knowledge and solutions that are possible.
tiger says
what happens when i follow that still smal voice and “lose”, of “fail” or am “rejected or wrong”? was that the right voice to have listened to?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Tiger,
Welcome and thanks for stopping by.
You ask an interesting question. When we truly follow the still, small voice, we are doing so for the sake of the truth in the moment. What is your choice? Follow your truth or follow a path that feels off and unaligned. So in the moment, if you are clear about the true path for you, you are following the still, small voice.
We think that if we stay true to ourselves that only positive things will happen. Another way to look at it is that if we follow our truth, we are allowing ourselves to let the universal life force lead rather than our own personal needs and desires. Say you choose a path that feels very true to you when you check in and it ends up bringing failure or rejection. Then you are being asked to acknowledge and explore failure and rejection. Life tends to show us all the places where we are stuck for the purpose of being free of them. We get the lesson until we don’t need the lesson anymore.
I can’t say for sure if you have followed the still small voice or not. Only you can know, and you may not even know for sure. But if you are experiencing failure or rejection, see how those stories catch you. Find the habit of feeling a lack or inadequacy. This is the path that will lead you to freedom for sure.
dave says
“You ask an interesting question. When we truly follow the still, small voice, we are doing so for the sake of the truth in the moment. ”
Right on the mark Gail the voice of intuition the small quiet voice within only works in the now. It signals the right thing to do in the moment. It is a simple yes or no mechanism. It is not thoughts. It is truly a gut feeling, planning or linking [voices] thoughts originate from mind. It is not really a voice it is a feeling.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for clarifying, Dave. Very helpful.
Aileen says
Hi Gail, just wanted to share something that happened to me about 10 years ago. My small voice within, “screamed” at me, not to do something. I ignored it to my peril. The result? Near bankruptcy, the loss of our home and all our financial assets, 8 years of impoverished living and working 80+ hours a week just to put a roof over our head and food on the table, 8 years of overwhelming stress and not knowing which way to turn. Believe me, when I look back at the (not so) small voice;s message, I realise that the last 8 years really need not have happened if I had listened to that loving voice. However, it did and I am richer and wiser in experience than I was before and now, after listening learning to listen to that voice, I am “back” where I should have been all along and slowly rebuilding my life. I make sure I listen to my voice now (although I don’t always do it) and my life is far more peaceful, centred, loving and gentle and I know intimately, how I feel when I don’t listen. It’s as if I cut myself off from the love and peace of the Universe. I now need that voice in my life because it brings with it peace and abiding love. Without it, my life is barren and harsh. Thanks for a wonderful post and to the other readers who posted really thought provoking comments
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Aileen,
What a beautiful, heartfelt, and amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it because it is a teaching story for all of us. As you have discovered, inner listening is not only an art, it’s transformative and maybe even life-saving.
I love your description of experiencing life as more loving, centered, and gentle, rather than barren and harsh. The still, small voice within is a loving voice. It may say things we don’t want to hear or push us in directions that are frightening. But this is really not a life that we own. Surrendering to our inner intelligence is, simply, intelligent.
I’m very happy for your insight and realization.
dave says
How can you tell the difference between the small voice within that we our talking about here, and fear of something . I have to make a choice about something and i’m not sure if it’s the small voice within saying no, or just plain fear. I have been very trusting of my intuition up to now , but this problem has really thrown me . Need your help on this please Gail.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Dave,
There is no magic answer to your question, but here are a few thoughts. When faced with a decision, there are three options: you know what you want, you know what you don’t want, or you are not sure yet. It’s possible that you are just not clear, so if you can, maybe take the time to let things percolate so you can be clear before you make the decision. Let yourself not know, which is the truth of your experience right now, until you know.
Also, maybe you can get very quiet and bring your attention inside. Let go of the story and swirling thoughts by moving your attention into your body. Feel the physical sensations of the fear without doing anything with them. Just feel them. Now bring your attention simply to the fact that you are aware. Rest your attention here. I have found many times that when I let things settle like this, an insight comes that I hadn’t seen before.
I also want to point you to one of my favorite teaching about fear by my blogger friend, Tara Mohr. You can find it here. It talks about two kinds of fear – one that projects bad outcomes into the future and the other that is the awe and excitement of something new.
In the end, make a choice and do your best. Every life situation offers just the learning that we need.
Love to you…
andy says
This Tara Mohr video is not available to public? Is there any other way to see it?
Gail Brenner says
I found it here, Andy.
http://www.taramohr.com/2012/08/yirah/
Raj Kumar Jain says
My own experiments shows me that we can listen ” still small voice within” provided we must have PURITY.
Self Purification lead us to TRUTH through ” still small voice within”.
Regards .
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for your comment, Raj. I love that you are doing your own experiments. That’s where we find truth – right at the heart of our own direct experience.
Jim G says
I have bipolar disorder I. I have been psychotic three times, two times resulting in hospitalization for a few weeks. During my second manic episode, I came into contact with the little voice, although it was loud and clear and technically considered “hearing voices / out of touch with reality / psychotic” to have such a voice. However, I learned how to listen to the normal “thought” or “little” voice while hypomanic as well — (little bit of mania which is a productive amount of mania) — it is the same thing, just a thought rather than an actual voice, and it never gave me bad advice while hypo manic. I can ask it questions, and it will provide the right answer, or it may not answer and leave the decision up to me, or even tell me that it is my call. I don’t know if this is the subconscious, the soul, God, the Universe/higher power, over-soul, id, or what.
Jim G says
I meant to say Freud’s Super-ego, not Id. (I had to look it up on Wikipedia.)
Gail Brenner says
It doesn’t sound like the superego, Jim, as that voice (in the form of thoughts) is usually harsh and judgmental. Since these thoughts occur whether or not you’re labeled as psychotic, I suspect it’s the voice of wisdom. You said that it never gave you bad advice and provides the right answer. Only you can know that. Good for you that you are so connected with the wisdom greater than your limited, separate self.
Jim G says
Cool, thanks Gail for the reply. Yes I think it can be a learned skill. And I can access it even in normal mood I found out today. When crazy it was also crazy, but nothing harmful. Like telling me to clean up the house when two celebrities were coming to visit which of course they were not.
Gail Brenner says
I love your ease with this, Jim. Nothing to freak out about…
Jim G says
Would you say Gail that this Voice of Wisdom is the same thing as the Higher Self?
Gail Brenner says
This is a matter of semantics, Jim. The point is that when you’re not distracted by personal thoughts and the drama of feelings, there’s space for listening. And what comes through? Wisdom unconditioned by beliefs systems and history. Creative expression. Ideas and impulses that are not from fear and in service of protecting the personal self – rather they come from fullness, from love, from a place of fulfillment. Really, there’s no higher self, rather there’s alignment with consciousness which speaks only truth.
Zola Morris says
That was a great article on being still and listening to that small voice. Believe it or not after seventeen years, I am going through something I didn’t have too, if only I would had listen to that voice. That time that voice wasn’t quiet, it was loud and clear and I still didn’t follow. I believe it was loud that time, because after seventeen years I’m still in it. My emotion was all in that decision, but God is still in control, and now with the help of the Holy Spirit I am learning – I am not there yet, but now I don’t rush to do anything anymore – I wait on clarity.
Gail Brenner says
This is so beautiful, Zola. Emotions and stories about what’s happening cloud our thinking. The truth waits patiently, and you are now listening.
Peter Parker :) says
Hello, thank you so much for your post!
I have the sinking feeling in my stomach or abdomen too and even a feeling in my head. This head feeling feels heavy and not pleasant at all.
But there is something else which I do not understand yet and I wonder if someone else have the same experience ?!
There is some kind of weird signal sound near me when it looks like it wants to warn me from something. It is like when something hits the ceiling and I hear a knock. Or even the computer screen makes that sound like an electric shock or something when I would like to watch something I shouldn’t watch.
For me it is difficult to explain the sound. I often wonder if this is a good or a bad sound but there are times it really wants to warn me and protect me I think.
I am still confused because sometime it is kinda scary if the sound is a little bit too loud in an instance. Also the sounds happen often when I go to sleep and I am thinking and thinking all the time. The sounds appear and I know I have to stop thinking and start sleeping or it keeps repeating itself and could get louder.
Just weird…
Gail Brenner says
Hi Peter,
Sounds like you are describing what sometimes comes with anxiety, as do the feelings in your stomach and head. If you’re feeling especially anxious right now, that may account for these experiences.
It sounds like you’re giving these sounds meaning. You think they mean that you should stop thinking or watching what you’re watching. Two thoughts about this. First, they might not mean anything. What if you were to see them as just another thing arising, like the inhale or exhale of your breath? You wouldn’t be giving them much attention – they would just come and go with no problem.
My second thought is that in a sense they are not separate from you. Maybe there is a knowing in you that you would like to put less attention into thinking or that you know it doesn’t serve you to watch certain kinds of videos. And this true knowing comes out as sounds or shocks. If this is true, then there is some kind of inner war in you – one part wants to do things with abandon and the other part is judging. If this resonates, see if you can look underneath these two sides to connect with your underlying truth.
Sending good wishes to you…
Peter Parker :) says
Hello Gail,
Thank you so much for your post! My apologize for responding so late. I really need to check my mail every day. I hope I have not offended you. 🙂
I believe you are both right. I do have anxiety. Even when writing mails I have anxiety I think. I am not so sure but I think I am high sensitive. Sometimes when someone talks to me I get the sinking feeling in my stomach or head. I do not like to use the computer, it doesn’t feels good sitting behind it for me.
It could be possible that I gave these sounds meaning. It does looks like these sounds happen for a reason. Once when I visited my parents in the morning, they were sleeping. Suddenly I heard the sound again clearly. I thought maybe there is something I need to be aware of but I didn’t know, until within a minute my mobile phone rang. My mother woke up and she was not happy…Could be coincidence though and giving meaning to it as you described.
I think there is indeed some kind of war inside me as you described! Thank you for giving insight into this 🙂 I am so glad you mailed me and explained it to me 🙂 I have problems getting into action. I’m thinking a lot but in the end there is no action. No wonder if there is war inside me haha.
I love you! 😉
Gail Brenner says
I’m glad these insights are helpful to you, Peter. Wishing you well on your journey…
Sending love to you…
Michael Eisbrener says
Awesome post! I have listened to the still small voice within my entire life. It is not to be confused with the monkey mind, lizard brain, amygdala that alarms, directs in anger, upset and fear. The still small voice within never is upset with me, never has a harsh word, complaint, never says I am bad, a disgrace or wrong. There is always a direction, a recommended step, course or action to honor His purpose. When taken, effortlessness. When I ignore the direction the consequences may be small or great but the nudge back to listening to Him brings bliss. When I quit listening altogether and only hear me, there are accidents, that are not accidents had I listened.
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful words, Michael. You are well-acquainted with the still small voice!
Brittny says
Yes! I heard clearly to leave my relationship but I was so in love and already felt all the way in. I knew my emotional needs would not be taken care of. I fought it and fought it thinking we could go to therapy and maybe things could come together. Well here we are with a newborn and I feel we’re just coparents who live together. I blame myself constantly for not listening because my intense feelings for him over rode what I knew to do. I was directed to your site in the middle of the night whe. I googled a question about peace in a relationship. Now my challenge is to maintain my peace knowing my expectations need to be adjusted. I can’t leave yet bc we share bills and he’s a great dad. My dreams of having a relationship that’s good is shattered. My challenge is to maintain my peace until this situation no longer ‘is’ .
Gail Brenner says
Hi Brittny,
I’m feeling into your situation and how it is affecting you. I appreciate that you seem to know what is best right now for your new child, which is to be with both parents.
Since you are deciding to stay at this point, I would suggest trying everything to rekindle your relationship. Figure out what feels loving toward your partner and do those things with abandon. Even if it feels like pretending, see if you can, some of the time, put aside your own desires for how you want him to be and see him just as he is. He probably feels your resistance. What if you weren’t resistant. Maybe there are inroads into greater intimacy that haven’t yet been explored.
See these as experiments just to try out and see what happens. Relationships can come from the brink and be restored.
He may not want to talk about things. If you start trying to act as if he were the one for you, that may be another approach.
And in saying this, I’m assuming you aren’t in a situation that is unsafe in any way for you or your child. If that is the case, there may be a different path to walk.
Brittny says
Gail, thank you so much ! This is pretty accurate. I’m sure he’s feeling my resistance and my angst towards him. This would be a good experiment for me because it would help me to open my heart and not remain as bitter. And that is something I’ve been praying for and noticing, how my negative feelings affect me and how it’s made me become. This would be a good experiment to do w/o expecting him to change but to shift the behavior to myself and learning to love him as he is. I could see how this would change me and see if my peace changes.
SARAH CHAN says
Hi, I’ve been experimenting with my body’s yes no signals and inner guidance for months. Recently, I came upon a very challenging situation. This man was triggering my past trauma with men and wanted to be closer friends, get to know each other. He seems like someone I could learn from yet I didn’t know him and didn’t know whether to trust him. My body said yes to interacting with him, that he would help heal my trauma with men, that he would help deepen my spiritual healing, all good things. But it shocked me because I was feeling very unsafe and not wanting to engage with him after a few interactions and messages from him that triggered me to feel very uncomfortable. It felt like this man was trying to get to close too fast. My the way, this man was never a potential love interest. He’s an older man who steam cleaned my carpets every few months and we would chat briefly each time. Since Coronavirus, I shared a guided visualization I created, he shared a few videos that were useful and then he triggered my trauma (too many messages too soon, suggested doing a video call to review a video and compare notes, I did the video call and felt uncomfortable the entire time, when I did yes to video call, he responded that he’d wanted to connect even before now (really set off my alarms, seemed very unnecessary to say, crossed the line for me, I didn’t know what it meant and that was not good), he said he loves me which for friends to say it was ok but things kept piling on that made me want to get more and more space between us instead of get to know him better as a friend. Originally, before all my alarm bells were set off, I was thinking it would be nice to learn from this older man he’s got a lot of good Spiritual life experience and seems like a nice old man and I could serve during coronavirus be connecting with older people.
One terrible part I resisted was that my body said no to telling him about my history of trauma with men. I wondered, this will be so hard, why can’t I even tell him that I’m uncomfortable and maybe he would back off of adjust his communication with me to help me feel safer?? This was mind boggling, hard to accept and since then I’ve just needed to focus on taking care of myself, working through being re-traumatized, reading, not asking my inner guidance, taking a break from it all and just getting back to my center. It’s been very hard.
If you have any thoughts on this, I’d love to hear. I’m totally confused about all this. I’ve been loving trusting my inner guidance until this situation and I’m totally thrown off.
Thank you,
Sarah
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sarah,
I love hearing how hard you are working on healing from trauma. The connection to and awareness of your body is key, and I’m delighted that you’ve made that connection. This gentleman seems to have triggered early trauma. A requirement for the healing of trauma in relationship is safety. And I think that’s what your alarm bells were about – you weren’t feeling safe.
As you may know, the body isn’t always logical. You may not know in your mind why this person doesn’t feel safe, but your body was saying no, and this is to be respected. It takes time to feel safe, and it makes sense that you would want things to go slowly.
You’re saying you wanted to be able to tell him about your history so that maybe he would back off. Maybe he would and maybe he wouldn’t. Again, getting vulnerable and sharing important parts of your history would need safety so you aren’t re-traumatized.
If I’m getting your story correctly, I think your inner guidance is telling you to slow down, be cautious, and not move until you feel safe. These are not choices made from the mind – as the mind was trying to convince you that he is ok.
Pacing in relationships is essential to pay attention to in recovery from trauma. Stay very connected to your inner knowing so you can set a pace that feels safe to you.
Much love to you and blessings on your journey…
SARAH CHAN says
Thank you so much, Gail. It’s actually the reverse which is why it’s so disturbing to me. Body repeatedly gave me a yes (warm feeling in tummy) but everything else (my head, my emotions) was a no. The only yes is a warm feeling in the tummy. If I didn’t find out to ask my inner guidance (what I have considered to be inner guidance over the past few months of asking my body and receiving yes no responses) it would 100% be a no. I can’t seem to find anyone else who has received inner guidance that said yes but everything else looks like going down a dark alley). Other scenarios it feels like – body saying yes to following a very scary man down a dark alley, body saying yes to jumping off of a cliff to your death, body saying yes visit with Harvey Weinstein.
Why would it be a yes? And a repeated yes. Very very perplexed…
PS I’ve been reading up on law of attraction and feeling good is#1 goal. Great, but usually warm tummy feeling matches up with feeling inspired. Well again, body seems to be a yes but I don’t feel inspired at all to interact with this man. Am I the only one?? ????
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sarah,
My experience of inner guidance is not so divided like you describe. It’s like sorting through the different energies that come up – mental, emotional, body – and waiting for the all-inclusive YES! My experience of the YES is not any one of these energies. It is a sense of all parts coming into alignment and there is knowing that a certain path – or the next step – just feels right.
The most prominent emotion that confuses this YES is fear. So see if fear is present, welcome it and even see what it is telling you, then see what is present beyond the fear.
The strong mind saying no that you describe – I’m wondering if that is not just mind but comes from someplace deeper and through the mind. Maybe that is a NO of guidance asking for your attention.
I invite you to have patience and make space for all the parts and voices. Then get quiet and still and see what bubbles up. Also, inner guidance works on its own timetable. What you might “hear” is not clear, so the answer is “I don’t know.” It’s fine to not know, that is a step in the process meaning that things are germinating and not yet ready to be seen clearly. Give it time and space and quiet, and wait for that aligned YES. See how that goes…
Much love to you….
Sarah Chan says
Thank you as I process and take in your words and its energies. Thank you, Gail. <3 I have all the time in the world to let this sit and become clear to me. I like telling myself I don't have to do, be or say anything, I don't have to take any action. Because there always seems to be an annoying pusher in the background and when I face it, it's absurd why there is any sort of timeline for me to do, act, say anything. Thanks again, Gail.
Sending love and light to you and the community.
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful Sarah!!
colin sherwood says
i want to happy story , about seeking God and listening to the still small voice of love and reason,…but thats not the way it is with me,..i have battled, depression, and generational stuff, and stuff spoken over me, that people had no right to do…i have tried so many things to turn my life around, see a dream come to pass,…i have had to fight for God, , i try to hard,learned to much, , some of us have to try an figure it out on our own…but God word does not change, i find more hope when i say..”I havent a clue”, or “Gods got this”,..” if its ment to be , it wont pass me buy.”..many blessings, to you , some lovely stories and peoples experiences here
Gail Brenner says
You have such strength and resilience, Colin! I love hearing that. you fight for God, and it helps you to surrender. We all come up with ways to help ourselves in challenging situations, and I honor you for your dedication and courage. Thank you so much for posting this.