Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
What does it mean to live in the land of Yes? When you inhabit Yes, you are open, receptive, available. You approach each moment with wonder and curiosity, without expectation, with openness.
In the land of Yes, you don’t close down or shut yourself away. You don’t avoid or resist. You are here, present, awake, aware, alive.
How Do You Say No?
If we want to live in Yes, we must understand no. How do you say, “No” to life? Here are some clues:
- I don’t want this to be happening.
- I don’t want to feel this way.
- I want to be reacting differently.
- I want him to be behaving differently.
- She should be doing or saying…
- This shouldn’t be happening.
- I don’t want to be sick, unhappy, in pain, stressed.
- My past should have been different.
Can you feel the no? It boxes you in and traps you in a corner. And it does absolutely nothing to change your reality. In fact, as the adage says, “What you resist persists.” Resisting reality has a paradoxical effect – it strengthens exactly the experience you wish would disappear.
Stand up and try pushing against a wall. Does the wall move? Are you making any progress? Now, stop pushing, and everything changes. You relax, you give up the fight, you accept.
Yes Is Discriminating
It is important to recognize that living in the land of Yes, doesn’t mean you become a doormat. Yes is discriminating. When you see things as they are, without blinders on, your next step becomes obvious. You choose without adding in the drama of resistance.
Say that your friend is always late when you have a plan to get together. You are sitting there waiting, and you feel tense. Your mind swirls with angry thoughts. You think of the times you already mentioned this problem, but she doesn’t seem to listen. This is resistance.
Now, let’s move into the land of Yes. First, fully accept the situation – her lateness, your tension and frustration. What are your choices? You can enjoy your present circumstances, moving from waiting to sitting, looking, hearing, appreciating. You can call her and let her know you will be leaving in 10 minutes. You can tell her you won’t be making plans with her anymore. You can recognize that you are willing to love her as she is.
The End of Drama
See how it works? When you let go of resisting, choices appear, and you make one. Either accept what is happening exactly as it is or change something. And here is what you can change – your behavior, how you hold your thoughts and feelings.
But sitting in frustration and running an angry story in your mind about her only has one result – you suffer. I don’t know about you, but I choose to not suffer.
The Joy of Yes
In the land of Yes, you are present and aware. You aren’t fueled by fear or resentment. You are free of conditioning from the past and worry about the future.
When you arrive at Yes, you might be surprised at how peaceful you can be about things that once bothered you. You might laugh at how useless negative thinking is. Your whole way of being in the world may transform.
Where in your life are you resisting? What are you saying “no” to and what is the effect? Are you bumping into walls every way you turn?
Let yourself be amazed by living in the land of Yes. Make the choice now, and you will realize that you are never truly stuck. In any moment, say Yes. Drop the trouble, take a breath, and open to the truth of things as they are. Life is here, right now, waiting patiently for your Yes.
Are you resisting? What has been your experience when you enter the land of Yes? I’d love to hear…