“Sometimes we have to go right into the fire in order to find our true healing.”
~Jack Kornfield
With this post, I join hundreds of bloggers who are publishing articles today on the Girl Effect. This project was masterminded by Tara Mohr for the purpose of raising awareness about the plight – and potential – of adolescent girls in developing countries around the world.
Who among us hasn’t seen images revealing the horrific conditions that define the reality of many of our brothers and sisters in the human family? We are so habituated to them that it seems almost too easy to protect ourselves by turning away. But in denying the truth of human suffering, we are shutting the door on the possibility of our own awakening.
Let everything in, including the seemingly unbearable, and we can no longer uphold the illusion of separation. As all edges dissolve and resistance falls away, our heart breaks over and over. I am the mother wailing as her starving child dies in her arms. I am the young man so stuck in a belief system that terrorism becomes possible. I am the teenage girl just handed over in marriage to a man whose abuse is sanctioned by her community and government.
Let everything in, and we realize the truth of a heart overflowing in all its manifestations – love, sorrow, tenderness, humility, reverence, awe, devotion.
Before you consider the facts and watch the videos below, invite your walls to collapse and your denial to disintegrate. Then simply and fully receive whatever happens.
Whether you are moved to action or not is secondary. If you are meant to do something, it will become clear without any effort on your part.
Instead, from a place of openness, with no preconceived notions, feel, allow, welcome. For in the dissolving of separation lies the sweetest truth. Everywhere you turn is you. You meet yourself endlessly, infinitely. You are love itself.
The Girl Effect
Here are the facts:
- Today, more than 600 million girls live in the developing world, with numbers on the rise.
- One-quarter to one-half of girls in developing countries become mothers before age 18; 14 million girls aged 15 to 19 give birth in these countries each year.
- A survey in India found that girls who married before age 18 were twice as likely to report being beaten, slapped, or threatened by their husbands as were girls who married later.
- 75 percent of 15- to 24-year-olds living with HIV in Africa are female, up from 62 percent in 2001.
- Compared with women ages 20 to 24, girls ages 10 to 14 are five times more likely to die from childbirth, and girls 15 to 19 are up to twice as likely, worldwide.
- In Mozambique, 60 percent of girls with no schooling are married before age 18 versus only 10 percent of their educated counterparts.
And here is the possibility:
- For every year of schooling, infant mortality declines by 5-10 percent.
- When women and girls earn income, they reinvest 90 percent of it into their families, as compared to only 30 to 40 percent for a man.
- An extra year of primary school boosts girls’ eventual wages by 10 to 20 percent. An extra year of secondary school by 15 to 25 percent.
- Girls work hard and are devoted to their families. They carry water, care for children, harvest crops, and tend livestock. With adequate support and direction, these qualities can be channeled to improve the lives of themselves and their families.
I’m a big fan of intelligent solutions, and the Girl Effect is certainly one of those. The organizers invite you to learn, donate, and spread the word. The effect of the Girl Effect? Watch this.
Any comments? I’d love to hear…
If you’d like to write your own Girl Effect post, please click here for all the information.
John Soares says
Gail, thanks so much for this evocative essay. I’ve been amazed at the high quality of the different Girl Effect posts I’m reading today.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for stopping by, John.
Paul McKay says
Thanks for reminding us of “the real world” out there beyond our self-imposed illusions, Gail. We have a sort of willful blindness that keeps walled in from the suffering and misery in the world because we don’t want to see it. Understandable considering how truly unbearable it taking an unflinching look at the reality of human suffering. Like you say, the walls we through up keep us separated. I think we recoil from suffering of this sort because of the deep-seasted fear within us, the nagging thought somewehre deep down inside that “lo but for the grace of God that that could be me–and I couldn’t take that kind of misery and suffering.” As always, you’re specific in not just diagnosing and presenting us facts and figures to raise awareness, but detailing a positive way to alternative thinking and acting and finding solutions that start within us– making ourselves better and more keenly self-aware first, so that we can make the world a little better and inspire others to follow suit. Grace & peace
Gail Brenner says
I agree with you, Paul, about our shielding ourselves from suffering because it just might get a little too close. I’m also not advocating taking on all the ills of the world and blocking our own lightness. There’s a balance to find, and I think the most important thing is to not avoid our reactions when they arise. Because as we welcome everything, we give from a heart overflowing that includes ourselves. And that is a beautiful thing.
Paul McKay says
Oh my–lot of typos and misprints in my comment there but maybe you and your readers will follow it, lol. I write and comment on others blogs on the fly and could use an editor to come behind me but oh well.
susan shannon says
Definitely evocative and heart rending. Utter disbelief that in the 21st century this is still a way of life for some. Yet, I often wonder, are we doing enough for our girls here at home (teen pregnancy is still high here and too many live in poverty or on it’s edge)? My teenage son and I have frequent discussions on why we should care about others overseas (Haiti, Japan disasters come to mind) and I encourage him that it’s important to be altruistic, to extend that friendly arm of humanity in a hug around those most in need. Not to get anything in return necessarily, but truly one never knows when it might be YOU in need. It’s really not such a small pond we live in and even a tiny, positive ripple can touch many.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for your heartfelt comment, Susan.
There is no end to need in the human realm, although at the level of the absolute, there is ultimate fulfillment. When our hearts are full, action arises. We don’t need to decide where to put our efforts, it just happens naturally. And since there is unity among all things, “a tiny, positive ripple can touch many.” Your son is very fortunate to have a mother who doesn’t shy away from the hard conversations.
Sending love…
debra says
i remember when i was 11. i cannot imagine being ‘married’ at that age. let alone having a child. i was abused by a neighbour when i was that age – it looks so similar to me.
these young girls are being given over to someone so that they can be abused legally – because the family will get some cows. that’s the rub. the families will eat. if they don’t have daughters to sell, they won’t get the ‘bride gift’ [what was called a dowery in our western culture]. What a conundrum. until the family doesn’t need the ‘bride gift’ the selling of girls will carry on.
but, each child that is given the education that they need moves us closer to the individual freedom and self respect that we all need to flourish. our girls AND boys need to be taught that there are other ways of living other than the centuries old ways that they and their families have been taught.
here, in the west, we call it ‘breaking the cycle of abuse’ because for the most part this was condoned in our societies for many centuries as well. just read our history books. we’ve come to know a different way of living – and so will they. i sure hope it can be sooner rather than later.
blessing to all who try to help and to all those who struggle to make a change in their own lives.
Gail Brenner says
So heartfelt, Debra. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Love to you…
Heidi Kellenberger says
Yes! It is so important to open our hearts (and sharp minds) to this world.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for stopping by, Heidi.