“Man can learn nothing except by going from the known to the unknown.”
~Claude Bernard
What are you looking for? Do you want to make a change…discover how to stop suffering…realize the essence of your true self? There are so many beautiful teachings available – more than you will ever need. But what is most imperative is this: you must be a very good student.
How to Learn
You can hear or read the most clear and articulate teaching, but if it falls on deaf ears or drops into a mind that is closed like a bank vault, then things will stay exactly as they are. If you are lost in seeking, if you keep trying to find answers, you need to reflect on what you are bringing to the table as a student.
As you know, the momentum of conditioned habits is very strong. They infiltrate your body and mind and squelch your spirit. Unraveling them takes great resolve and commitment. You need to be very aware so you can see how they begin to take hold. And you need to stay open so you can receive the teachings you need in the deepest part of your being.
There was a moment in my own journey when this lesson landed. I had been hearing the same words over and over, retreat after retreat. Finally, in a stroke of grace, the clouds covering my mind parted, and the light poured in. I realized that my task was to take what was being spoken and apply it in my moment-to-moment experience.
It was the end of spoon-feeding, which doesn’t work anyway, and the beginning of true transformation.
Embody These Qualities
It is so easy for our brains to get congealed. We become so attuned to the familiar that the new seems inconceivable. But here is the truth: you have the capacity to know the peace you long for.
Are you waiting for your life to begin? Are you seeking but not finding? Then maybe you can be a better student by tapping into these essential qualities.
Openness
Let every aspect of your being be open. Open your eyes, your ears, your pores and cells and heart, your brain and mind. It might feel strange at first, like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz who is just getting oiled. But just this degree of openness may be enough.
Willingness
Be willing to go into the most feared places within yourself. Be willing to try something new, go out of your comfort zone, challenge your thoughts and beliefs about the world. Absorb the teachings you need, then apply them diligently to your own experience.
Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm comes from the Greek meaning, “possessed by the gods.” Let yourself be possessed by your quest for wholeness and freedom. Be willing to go out on a limb, to do things that don’t make sense, to let your journey unfold through you.
Curiosity
Be acutely interested in your in-the-moment experience. Be curious about how your reactions work. Shine your laser-like attention into the heart of your habits.
Trust
Teachers come in all shapes and sizes, but the ultimate teacher is life itself. Your teacher may be your child or an illness or loss. Trust that you are getting exactly what you need for freedom. And if you follow a person who is teaching, choose wisely, then trust completely.
Humility
Forget what you already know that isn’t serving you, and adopt an attitude of, “I don’t know.” Recognize that your mind tries to solve problems it can’t begin to know the answer to. Empty yourself of what you think you know, then let something new come forth, fresh in the moment.
Dedication
Stay with it. The journey to wholeness and healing can bring you all kinds of challenges. Remain connected with your true heart’s desire. Keep the fire burning.
Self-kindness
Habits run deep, so treat yourself with tough love. Be unceasingly attentive, and unendingly kind. Relax and breathe. Not resisting anything is the most loving thing you could ever do.
If there is something you know you need to learn, be like a sponge. Absorb the teachings and let them filter in completely. Then, as if you are reborn, emerge – fresh, alive, and whole.
How are you doing as a student? How can you incorporate what you learn into your daily experience? I’d love to hear…
Todd says
All so true. It reminds me of a life-changing lunch I had about a year ago.
I was meeting a potential life coach and as we spoke he talked of commitment to lifelong learning and something struck me.
Too often I read about self-improvement (introversion, anxiety, depression) only during those times when I felt like I needed it. Then when things improved I would stop and put aside the learning.
Yet to really absorb and internalize what I wanted to learn required consistent learning and repetition during good times and bad.
After all it’s better to have prepared oneself early for a battle with personal challenges than rush around in a frenzy trying to figure a strategy in the midst of a crisis.
Gail Brenner says
I love the point you are making here, Todd. Being open as a student needs to become a lifestyle, with the elements incorporated moment-to-moment – in the easy as well as the challenging moments.
I imagine you are experiencing the fruits of this level of commitment.
Christopher Lovejoy says
For me, at this time, resistance is key.
Valuable resistance gives the soul a reason to realize itself; productive resistance gives the spirit a reason to grow in its freedom.
To what degree can I welcome resistance? To what extent can I allow it to be?
For me, at this time, working with resistance is the most loving thing I can do for myself.
Thank goodness for resistance.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Christopher. It sounds like you are using resistance well. If resistance is present – in whatever form – we have a choice. We can sustain it by believing the stories that appear on our minds, or we can welcome and allow it.
I’m happy for you that you are doing the most loving, and peaceful, thing for yourself, which is to acknowledge and work with resistance.
Deb Perkins says
Hi Gail,
I find that if I stick with one lesson and apply it as much as I can throughout the day, or throughout the months, it finally gets a chance to sink in. This approach also has its advantages because I think the brain is more receptive to learning when it is relaxed and open, and there are bound to be days in that stretch when I’m more receptive…(although the hitting the brick wall technique has its advantages, too)….I have an encouraging update from a previous post: My tendency to attract men into my life who get overly attached has vanished!! Thank-you so much for your wonderful advice and support! This was a life-long pattern, and at age 54 it is gone.
Gail Brenner says
This is so great, Deb! Obviously, you are a very good student. You have heard the lessons and applied them to your moment-by-moment experience. What an inspiration! If you care to share, I’d be interested in how this tendency vanished – either here or in an email.
I love that approach of taking one lesson and staying with it for a period of time so it can sink in. I’ve been thinking and reading more about the brain recently. Yes, new pathways can develop, but it takes time and consistency. And relaxation is certainly a factor.
Good for you – I’m celebrating!
Galen Pearl says
I always love all your posts and read every word, usually several times. There is often a key phrase or sentence that jumps out to me. In this post it was, “Not resisting anything is the most loving thing you could ever do.”
Learning to stay open and curious rather than to react has been a challenging habit to develop, but I have applied the tough love you suggest and it has helped me so much.
I also loved your explanation of enthusiasm–possessed by the gods. Wow.
Gail Brenner says
So sweet, Galen. I’m so happy for you.
Personally, I love the enthusiasm of being possessed by the gods. It is the level of surrender that is needed, where openness and curiosity become second nature. Yes, they can be difficult qualities to cultivate initially, but the choice is blindness and continued delusion and suffering. I’ll take curiosity any day. And this level of intensity is what is needed to counteract the momentum of deep conditioning.
May your mind be clear and vast like the sky. May you live as the light that you are…
Ken Wert says
Great post, Gail.
I’m not sure about trusting a teacher completely, though. I’m a pick-and-chooser. We are all fallible so I start with the assumption that all teachers will have a few black holes in their thinking. And since not all teachers agree on all points, I have to believe that, short of the prophetic, direct line of communication with deity type, all teachers will fall short of a trust strong enough to suspend my own discernment.
My favorite is curiosity. What an important trait that is. Coupled with the openness to accept new truths, curiosity can be a deeply powerful tool in our learning and growing.
Thanks for the excellent post, Gail. All so very helpful.
Gail Brenner says
I hear you about trusting teachers, Ken. I think a fine line needs to be walked. My experience is that there needs to be a great deal of trust. I know I have needed to surrender to a couple of teachers to truly learn the lessons. And although I got what I needed, they showed their human fallibility as well.
Our internal compass can be trusted in this regard. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. But the best teachers can also take us far out of our comfort zone, which is where we need to go.
A complicated subject with no right answer. That said, being a wise and curious student is bound to be beneficial.
Thanks so much for these points.
David says
There was this one time in my college years where i fail twice in a specific subject. The reason is simply because I’m not giving due importance to it despite the fact that it is a major subject. On my third take, i rose to the top and has been listed as the first placer in terms of performace. What i just did is, treat the subject as a hobby and think of it as fun activity and think of it as my favorite subject. Learning becomes easy and effortless if you are happy studying.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, David. As you have discovered, an attitude of interest and perseverance will take you a long way. Thanks for stopping by.