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“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
~Confucius
A simple phrase that can change everything. Are you wondering what it might be?
OK, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. Get ready, because it may radically alter your perspective. Here it is: “Oh, this.”
When does “Oh, this” come into play? Whatever happens, whatever arises, the most simple and intelligent response is, “Oh, this.” It means you accept, you embrace, you tell the truth and receive with an open mind and heart. Say “Oh, this” to:
- Present circumstances
- Events from the past
- Things people say and do
- Your own emotional reactions
It’s not about being passive and resigned. It’s not about gritting your teeth and putting up with or getting through. You don’t have to grin and bear it.
“Oh, this” says ‘Yes!” to what is. It’s a revolutionary shift that transforms your whole way of being.
A Real-Life Example
I know it’s hard to believe, but occasionally people will do things that get on my nerves. I feel the frustration rising up in me ā the desire to snap back or shut down.
What relieves the pressure and short-circuits the problem is the simple phrase, “Oh, this.” “Oh, this” to the frustration I feel, the urge to say something unkind, the need the person is expressing. It offers the welcome gift of a pause and the chance for understanding. It wakes me up and brings me back to where I really want to be.
“Oh, this” has saved me a lot of trouble.
The Resistance of “Not This”
For many of us, the essence of “Oh, this,” is unfamiliar. We aren’t used to responding by being humble and open. More commonly, we say, “Oh, not this,” as in:
- I don’t want you to be saying that.
- I don’t want you to want that.
- I don’t want this to be happening.
- That shouldn’t have happened.
- I don’t want to feel the way I feel.
These statements all communicate a resistance to what is. How often do you not want others to want what they want? How often do you long to revise history or write the script for what should happen now and in the future? And how much pain do these reactions add to your life?
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
What I love more than anything is that there is a medicine for the illness of reaction and resistance. And the medicine is the deep acceptance inherent in “Oh, this.” It frees you from the grip of tension and grounds you in the reality of things as they are.
It offers the paradox of relaxing in the face of life’s challenges.
“Oh, this” can be the perfectly-wrapped gift that you give to yourself. And it’s a gift that keeps on giving. “Oh, this” centers you in your present moment experience.
It eases your attachment to emotions and stories. It unclouds your mind and establishes you in your heart. “Oh, this” ignites your natural wisdom so you can see clearly and respond with intelligence.
Your emotional triggers may take time to dissolve, but know that peace is possible. Say “Oh, this” whenever you remember ā now…and now…and now… Each time, you are chipping away at these conditioned tendencies that don’t serve you anymore.
Each time brings you closer to recognizing the light, the wholeness, the love that you are.
Are you resisting anything? What helps you to be more accepting? I’d love to hear…
Note: I’m happy to announce my new Facebook fan page for A Flourishing Life. Come on over, click like, and join the conversation.
Galen Pearl says
This reminds me of Thich Nhat Hanh’s phrase “This, too,” which he uses in much the same way, I think. Both phrases are very helpful in taking the edge off and coming back to center. Thanks for the gift!
Gail Brenner says
Hi Galen,
This, too…Oh, this. Yes, sounds like the same to me. Back to center…
Joyful holidays to you…
David says
Hi Gail,
This is a new one for me…..
Have a very merry Festive season.
be good to yourself
David
Gail Brenner says
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, David. Happiest of holidays to you and yours…
Ajen says
“oh that!” I love this phrase. It is subtle call to acknowledge one’s current situation and take action of acceptance of what we can and cannot control. Very simple statement…and yet so profound.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Ajen,
Yes, and it really can change everything. Takes us out of reaction and into freedom.
Noch Noch says
Hi Gail
I had not thought about that before. But i guess once you think “oh this” then the mind sort of comes to peace and whatever is negative doesn’t seem so negative anymore… is this line of thinking what you are saying?
Noch Noch
Gail Brenner says
I think you captured it completely, Noch. With “oh this,” the mind can stop spinning about why things are happening and what to do. It’s like a sedative for the mind. Then what seems to be negative and triggering can be seen clearly.
The day this post was published, I had a small leak in my kitchen sink. At first, I was overly agitated, probably because I had so many things on my plate that day. In that moment, the situation seemed much worse than it actually was. Then, “oh, this” came into play. I got completely present, saw what needed to be done, and did it. At that point, there was no residue, and I calmly went about my day. So “oh this” brought a stopping then clarity about the actual reality of the situation, and the emotional upset was gone. This is an example of how it can bring us back to sanity.
Bonnie Perry says
What I like about this is it reminds me that life includes everything! How could I possibly think it could be any other way?!
Gail, blessings of the season to you and everyone here………
Bonnie
Gail Brenner says
Yes, Bonnie, “oh, this” includes everything. This and this and this….endlessly. Everything included, then all forms collapse into one big love fest.
Blessings to you, heart to heart…
Cathy|Treatment Talk says
Hi Gail,
That is another good way to let things flow and not become too rattled about what is happening. āOh, thisā will be helpful to remember when I’m feeling stressed. Your kitchen sink from the comment above, reminds me of my dishwasher that just went out today right before Christmas, but I will say āOh, thisā – thank you!
Gail Brenner says
Itās those ordinary situations that really count, Cathy. A dishwasher not working, a leak in the sink, all those simple moments matter. And we can choose how we meet them.
Ken Wert says
What a wonderful post, Gail!
My personal favorite response to my growing frustration in the moment is to mentally stop and almost jump out of myself and see what’s happening from a distance (the rough equivalent to an “Oh this” moment), then laugh. I genuinely laugh at the sudden silliness I now easily recognize. And in a flash the frustration is gone.
Hope your Christmas was wonderful (whether you celebrate it as such or not) and your New Year will be amazing!
Gail Brenner says
I love your approach, Ken – stopping then laughing. The stopping brings to light how insane we can become when we are caught in our habits and reactions. And it deserves laughter for sure.
Happiest of holidays to you and your family…