“I pledge to meet you with openness and acceptance in the moments of our life together.”
These are the words that my partner and I will be saying to each other at our wedding ceremony next Friday. Yes, I’m getting married, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it.
The process of creating our ceremony has been revealing in unexpected ways. Over the years, I have made commitments to myself, but speaking a vow to my beloved in front of our family and friends is potent.
After all, I live with a great deal of integrity, so if I make a vow, I intend to keep it.
But I want this vow to be freeing – not loaded with should’s and feeling like a prison. So I take it as an expression of my deepest desire: to meet all of life with openness and acceptance.
Which includes being open and accepting of myself when I fall short.
You can think of it this way: the noun “vow” is lived as a verb. It is a living, breathing, spacious, loving way of being.
So I invite you to fill in the blank: I vow to….
Take your time with this. Get quiet, bring your attention inside, and let the answer come from the deepest part of your being.
Then watch how your life aligns in unimaginable ways.
Years ago I gathered my fragmented life and committed to knowing the absolute truth, no matter what. Some areas are still a work in progress, but here I am, marrying a man who is amazing, and the right match for me, beyond anything I could have ever dreamed up.
All I can say is, “Thank you.” I am on my knees with gratitude.
Have the courage to state what this life is about. Be conscious, awake, and infinitely loving. Every moment is more precious than you could ever know. Make a vow, and you won’t miss out on what you have been given.
Now it’s your turn. What do you vow to? Say it in the comments below, let it be known with all of us as witnesses. Then live it, and the rest will be taken care of perfectly.
Love to you,
Gail
PS: I’ll be taking a couple of weeks off, and I’ll be back with you later in February.
J. K. Rahn says
Gail – I am delighted to hear the news and I love the vow you will be using. Are we going to get more details???
Gail Brenner says
Thank you, JK. More detail, huh. What would you like to know?
Marsha says
Hi Gail
Congratulations! I’m crying tears of joy for you. That’s such wonderful news.
The timing of your message couldn’t have been better. I’m going through a crisis related to money and my connection to my inner abundance.
I vow to re-imagine my life “story”. I vow, as of today, to start seeing myself as the heroine of my life, not the victim. I’m slaying the dragon of my poor self-image and negative belief system. I vow to live with courage and honesty.
I wish you a lifetime of joy with your partner!
Gail Brenner says
I feel the fire in your vows, Marsha.
Thank you so much for your good wishes.
Jenn says
Congratulations, Gail! I am so happy for the both of you. I am so grateful you have shared your experiences with me and you have helped me in so many ways. Since I started reading your blog 5 months ago, my life has change tremendously. I have tears in my eyes while reading your post. I am so very happy for you but also that I’m in a place that I can be happy for you.
I vow to be happy and live my life in the moment. I vow to sit with my feelings, recognize them, ease in to them and to learn and to grow. I learned this from you and thank you so much.
Congratulations!
Gail Brenner says
I’m so glad to hear your report, Jenn, and I am celebrating with you.
What you mention, in Buddhism, is called sympathetic joy – where you can actually feel the joy of another, and it is a beautiful, heart-opening experience. As we heal from the inside out, we are less self-focused and more able to feel the interconnectedness with others.
So much love to you, Jenn…
Amyra Mah says
I vow to show myself love, without waiting another moment to become more worthy of it.
I vow to be more open to receive the love, kindness, support, help, unexpected gifts and generosity that come to me.
I vow to honour myself now, and never lose sight of who I truly am.
Wonderful news about the wedding, Gail. Wishing you the most beautiful married life!
Much love to you…
Gail Brenner says
Thank you for your good wishes, Amyra. May you live these vows endlessly…
Clare says
Best wishes to you Gail. That is wonderful news. Your vow is poignant and timeless.
You are so right. It was difficult to make a vow, especially without a should hanging over it. So, I guess I will start the process of creating my vow by saying that “I vow to live with and in compassion for others and myself, never forgetting that forgiveness of myself and others is a component of that compassion.”
Have a lovely honeymoon. Again, best wishes!
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful, Clare. And if you happen to forget your vow for a moment, which happens, can you forgive yourself for forgetting? I love that you are starting in a place that feels exactly right for you.
I appreciate your good wishes. Thank you.
Nessa says
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your wonderful news Gail.
I wish you both happiness together and may your togetherness be creative and of course “flourishing”.
Nessa
Gail Brenner says
Thank you, Nessa. May we all, as life, flourish endlessly…
David says
Hi Gail,
Congratulations! I vow to……have no more excuses.
be good to yourself
David
Gail Brenner says
Yes! No more excuses, which means taking full responsibility for ourselves, our lives, and our actions. No more victimhood!
Beautiful, David.
Rev.. Paul McKay says
Congrats and blessings, Gail!
Gail Brenner says
Thank you, Rev. Paul. Much appreciated.
Nicole says
I vow to act in my best interest, even if my initial instinct is to defend and fight against it. Thank you for inviting this question, and big congratulations to you and your partner!
xoxo
Gail Brenner says
Thank you, Nicole.
You are astute in realizing, and accepting, your initial instinct to defend. That is your starting point – then you have the space to act in your best interest. Well said.
Bonnie Perry says
Congratulations, Gail!
Meeting everything with openness and acceptance in the moments of life – what a beautiful vow! Everything included, nothing more in particular to ask for. To feel welcome and appreciated come what may. What more could anyone ask for!
May you have a wonder-full journey together!
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much, Bonnie. I so appreciate your good wishes. Wonder-full – I love that!
Jermaine says
Best Wishes to you the two of you Gail!
I vow to… let go of all baggages I am carrying.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much, Jermaine.
And I hear your vow: letting go of baggage you are carrying….
Sushama S Prahlad says
Hi Gail,
Congratulations! Your writings reveal your wisdom and integrity. You don’t even need to make a vow.
Wishing you both a Happy Married life!
Sushama
Gail Brenner says
That is so sweet of you to say, Sushama. We are receiving your good wishes.
The Vizier says
Hi Gail,
Congratulations! It is such a wonderful thing to find someone whom you can spend the rest of your life with. You are truly blessed! I certainly hope it will be a long, beautiful and very loving union. 🙂
As for what I vow; I vow never to turn anyone who asks me for help if it is within my power and means to do so.
Hope you have a great time and come back recharged! 🙂
Irving the Vizier
Gail Brenner says
Your vow speaks of your open-heartedness, Irving. Beautiful to see.
I am amazed that I found someone I want to commit to in this way. I’m very choosy! And very confident in my choice.
Galen Pearl says
Congratulations! I officiated at a wedding last summer. The partners wrote their own vows, and I was so moved by them, I could hardly get through the ceremony without crying myself! Best wishes to you!
I vow to be awake!
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful, Galen. Thank you!
Noch Noch says
congrats!
i was just writing vows in preparation for my wedding in May
thought-provoking!!!!
i vow to be true to me 🙂
Take care
Noch Noch
Gail Brenner says
I love that, Noch. “I vow to be true to me.” Such a strong statement…
Crys says
I vow to my very best to reamain present and mindful.
I’m so happy for you.
Maybe a photo of the bride and groom for all of us to ooh and ahh over?
May your marriage be abundantly blessed.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks for your good wishes, Crys. Maybe a photo – I’ll have to ask my “better half.”
Yes! Vowing to be present and mindful. Then you are able to make clear, wise, and loving choices.
Catrien Ross says
Dear Gail:
Resurfacing after a long, long absence, I dropped by today to say hello and reconnect with you once more.
And you are getting married!
How lovely for you, Gail. Deepest wishes for your happiness and your new life.
Looking forward to keeping in touch from now.
Much love to you from the foot of Mount Fuji in Yamanashi, Japan. Catrien Ross.
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much, Catrien. Welcome back! Looking forward to more of your exquisite writing.
Love to you…
Cherie Bergman says
I am dumfounded to read your blog this afternoon as I just sat down with my husband and essentially vowed to him that we would no longer allow the behavior of our grown children to interfere with our relationship! It took a lot to let go and give myself the permission to live my own life without the stress and worry that has been clouding my every waking moment. So when I read your incredible share, I suddenly felt validated from somewhere outside of my universe! It is an incredible feeling and thank you. Congratulations on your up and coming wedding too!
Gail Brenner says
So great to see you over here at A Flourishing Life, Cherie. Welcome!
I love your vow because it expresses a true vote for happiness. And when you are at peace, who knows what will happen with your children? Attachments are resistance, and resistance separates. Letting go of resistance means letting love in in all forms. As stress and worry fall away, there is space for truly living. Enjoy yourself!