“When you beautify your mind, you beautify your world.”
~John O’Donahue
“Can you explain the sinking into your heart for me?”
This is a beautiful question I received from a reader, Paul, in response to the post from a couple of weeks ago. It was about pressing the reset button – the choice that is available in any moment to stop feeding the momentum of a reactive pattern.
If you are caught in an emotional whirlwind, or if you are consumed by a flood of thinking, you can stop, pause, connect with your wisdom and intelligence, and reset. Ahhhh, sanity.
I mentioned that one of the ways to reset is to let go of thinking and sink into the heart. This is what prompted the question. What exactly does that mean – to sink into the heart?
The Value of Inquiring
I love this question because it is penetrating. You could easily assume that you know what it means. After all, everyone has a heart. But let’s make sure. Let’s inquire deeply, so you can fully understand. Let’s shine the laser on even the most obvious idea so you can drill down to the absolute truth of it.
Only then can you relax.
Your mind stops questioning, so you can live the answer.
Isn’t that what you long for?
So let’s take a deep, penetrating look. What does it mean to let go of thinking and sink into the heart?
Lose Interest in Thinking
We all know what it’s like to be caught up in thinking. You judge, ruminate, worry, plan, and tell yourself sad or scary stories. You negotiate and justify and defend. When the mind is functioning in full force, you can’t possibly be fully available to the moment.
Now the letting go part. If you make the choice to become less interested in thoughts, your attention will naturally move away from thinking. Then you are available to presence, reality. And this is the realm of the heart.
Without attention to thinking, miraculously you notice sounds and sense perceptions that were always here. You are quiet enough to realize there is breathing, the wind on your face, tension in the jaw, a feeling you’ve been ignoring.
You are waking up to what is. Mind clear and alert. Eyes wide open. Seeing and hearing from the space beyond eyes and ears.
I used to do silent meditation retreats where, after a few days, the mind would become very still. Looking out through my eyes everything was so clear and precise. There was a great sense of peace. At first, I thought something was wrong, and I would look in the mirror to see if my pupils were dilated.
Now I understand that with no interest in thinking, the reality of what is actually here in the moment becomes obvious. No distractions, no hiding, no pretending.
With nothing whatsoever in the way, what remains is infinite clear seeing, unlimited awareness. Perception of everything that is so amazingly fresh.
And in this clarity, heart-centered qualities appear naturally – compassion for people and situations, being overcome by beauty, gratitude overflowing.
A Practical Experiment
I invite you to try an experiment, just for a moment. Think about something with gusto, then let go of the thinking. Be awareness itself, fully open and allowing.
******
I just tried this myself and noticed a palpable difference in my experience. Thinking felt tight and contracted. But once I stopped feeding thoughts and opened to awareness, there was the sound of birds, the rays of sunlight dancing with the leaves, and a sweet softness and relaxation.
Live in the Heart
“Sinking into the heart” is a remembrance of our true nature, or, as one of my teachers says, our “infinite magnificence.” When we disconnect from thinking, there is somehow an unshakeable knowing that we have arrived home. Who we are is not our thoughts, not the individual entity we call the body or Paul or Gail.
Separation is seen as untrue, and what is realized is the inter-being (as Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says) of all of life. In the realization of this wholeness of all, with nothing excluded, is the unnameable. But probably the best word to describe it is love.
The suggestion to sink into the heart is an invitation to align with life, to let go of resistance, and to know ourselves as love, as life itself.
What is your experience with losing interest in thinking? Is it hard or easy? What happens? I’d love to hear…
Sandy says
Great explanation. I know that sometimes I have to force myself to “stop” thinking. It takes training but it is such a relief. I have used what I call the box on the shelf. When I start to obsess about a problem (usually a family member and how mean they are), I imagine putting them into a box on a shelf. Every once in a while the box gets opened but there is a time limit to rant or think about them. Then its back in the box, out of sight, out of mind. I always find it amazing that we are unable to just let go. Great idea about sinking into the heart. I had never thought about it that way, but it’s true. Thanks for the explanation.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Sandy, and thank you for this inspiring report. The momentum of thinking can be very strong, so effort is sometimes needed – along with compassion for ourselves. I, too, have found that it is possible for thinking to subside, revealing the space of peace and abundance. In other words, our efforts bear fruit, and we can discover true happiness.
Crys says
Oh Gail another post that seems to have been written just for me right when I needed it. Thank you so much for your wisdom and your continued connection that allows you access to these words of wisdom.
Gail Brenner says
I love that synchronicity, Crys. May you drink in exactly what you need.
Clare says
This is such a wonderful (and timely) post. Yesterday, I had the worst anxiety and was completely frustrated with myself because I didn’t feel spiritually anxious, just physicially so. I finally just focused on the breath and tried to hone in on what my body was experiencing. As I did this, my breath, (without really focusing on that anymore) slowed. I concluded that I am still caught in an old pattern of rushing and bustling in everything I do, which my body experiences as perpetual anxiety. In connecting with my body, I was able to slow down, focus on the present and actually enjoy my present experience. It is a lesson I hope I remember and carry with me. Thank you for reinforcing this for me today. I always look forward to your posts.
Gail Brenner says
This is beautiful, Clare. Everything serves, even those times of extreme anxiety. Somehow, you refused to just be a victim of it, and you found your way to peace. Once you see how your troubles can unwind, there is no going back.
Enjoy the journey!
dave says
Thanks Gail , another great article.
It is wonderful when you really understand that you do not have to listen to your mind , that you can choose not to listen. Your mind is constantly evaluating and making sense of the world we live in, it is the conscious [ and unconscious] experience that arises from brain activity and like all the organs of our body can function very well without our interference . If we turn our sense of listening outward to what it was intended for , that is listening to the sounds of nature , people talking , the sounds of life, instead of inward to our own mind . If we left our mind in peace we would find peace.
dave says
It,s me again . I didn’t answer your question Gail re- experience of losing interest in thinking so here goes. I have tried over many years different techniques to quieten the mind , non have really worked , until now. The answer seems so incredibly simple . My mind does not speak to me — it is me that is listening. STOP LISTENING . Listen instead to the world out there– actively listen to whatever noises come into your hearing without judging if the noises are good or bad . I feel blessed that i am able to do this, and was it easy ? no, you must practice and persist until it becomes the norm, because it feels very odd at first not to have that voice in your head clamouring to be heard. If anyone reads this, please try , just for five minutes listen to the noises in your room , relax and really listen, notice your mind quieten down. Now imagine your mind being that quiet all the time, it can if you just listen.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Dave,
I appreciate your point – to stop listening to the mind – and I love your enthusiasm about what is possible! Thoughts can be very seductive, and for me, it was a turning point to realize that no thought was going to bring me the peace I was looking for. In fact, I saw that every thought is stressful to some degree. Turning away from thoughts and being present with sounds allows the space for true intelligence to shine through.
Your insight about identifying as the listener, rather than the thought-producer opens up a valuable solution. Thanks so much for sharing this possibility.
Sofia Reddy says
I’ve noticed the stillness when I practice meditation daily. It’s an amazing experience and I agree that who we are is bigger than our thoughts. Thank you Gail!
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sofia,
A meditation practice isn’t required, but, as you are noticing, it can help to rediscover stillness again and again. And in that rediscovering, we begin to ask the essential question: who am I? What a beautiful place to be. We see that thoughts and bodily sensations are fleeting – they can’t be who we are. Then we are called to something bigger beyond our assumed identity. And this is where the true home lies.
Bonnie Perry says
Hi Gail,
I truly appreciate your patient and ever deeper and clearer pointing.
I still find I have a noisy mindstream – what I call ‘the commentary track that never fits’, because when I look, as I notice it, its implications can not be found to be in provable evidence. So, concern for it is lessening, even as it is still barking.;) It was important for me to truly acknowledge that my natural state is relaxation, a relaxation that is found to already be in existence, not one that I personally can choose to be in through efforting or not efforting, one that I can lose. Noticing that space helps reveal the heart shining in all experience. As you say, only then can you relax. Finding/knowing that relaxation is something that can never be taken from me was a huge understanding, one that I had to experience even when I had raging thoughts. I love your practical experiment. I read something recently that suggested we are all born natural scientists for the exploration of our existence. I like that. In my life experience I would often come across ‘question authority’ signs and that has been a guiding inner attitude for me.
Love to read your posts.
Gail Brenner says
Oh, I remember the bumper sticker, “question authority.” We’re dating ourselves, Bonnie!
The noisy mindstream isn’t a problem if you stay with the space of silence. Taking away its nourishment and support – attention – may even help it subside. And as you stabilize in the natural state, be ruthless and so compassionate. It’s not about getting rid of anything, but seeing through to the truth, over and over.
sarah says
i try to let go of thinking, but it mostly seems impossible. i started practicing yoga and it’s been surprising how my mind doesn’t want to quiet down, to let go. and then i get angry and frustrated, and it’s almost like a part of me is laughing at myself, convinced i’ll never change or overcome these thoughts and feelings. thanks for the reminder to drop down and listen to my heart, however quiet its’ whisper.
Gail Brenner says
I love the honesty of this comment, Sarah. Thank you.
You are noticing that it doesn’t help to have a war with thinking, wanting it to go away. Instead, lose interest in it. Let the thoughts come, if they want to, but stay in the stillness in which the thoughts arise. And if frustration comes, don’t be interested in that either, stay in the space of neutrality.
Stillness…neutrality – these are all aspects of the heart. When we let experience come and go without getting involved in it, this is peace. And in this peace lie all the treasures of the heart. Keep going there, and the whisper will turn into a roar.
sarah says
THANK YOU for your response. i will truly carry your words with me and appreciate that you took the time to respond. i really struggle with knowing when to pay attention to my thoughts and when not to. when do i just notice and when do i hold on?
Gail Brenner says
Sarah,
I would recommend experimenting. Pay attention to your thoughts, and see what happens in your body and in the rest of your experience. How do you feel? What do you feel compelled to do? Then don’t pay attention to thoughts. What do you notice? How do you feel? Your experience will guide you in just the right way.
I’d love to hear the results of your experiment. Then we can go from there.
Love to you…
Noch Noch says
I love that saying “Sinking into the heart”
i need to try more of that. and listen to my own awareness and inner voice
Noch Noch
Gail Brenner says
That’s just it, Noch. If we bring our attention into the heart and let go of interest in thoughts, the inner voice can be heard.
We all need these reminders – it’s how we can support each other.
Shelby says
i can’t believe I have found this site!!I have been searching my whole life for a way to handle the constant thoughts in my head along with the sick feelings in my heart associated with them. In just one instant, I seem to have it under control. Just observing, then letting go. What a concept! It works!!
Gail Brenner says
Oh, Iove your enthusiasm, Shelby! I’m also very glad you found this site.
Simply lose interest in thinking, over and over. I can promise you, as you probably know, thinking will not bring you the peace you are looking for. Almost all thoughts are stressful to some degree. Let go of thinking, and be the natural you.
And this leaves the space for the true heart – not affected by stressful thoughts – to shine.
Eric says
Isn’t the heart led by feeling and feeling often led by thoughts?
What I’m trying to say is if you listen to your heart you are going off of feeling (emotions), and feelings are powered or at least strengthened by thought.
Thoughts?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Eric,
Thanks for your question – let’s clarify. When I speak about listening to the heart, I am not referring to emotions. We commonly get captivated by our thought and emotional patterns. And when we are ruled by them, we aren’t living the freedom that we long for. Isn’t the goal to be happy? Being driven by thoughts or feelings won’t get you there.
Listening to the heart is about pressing the pause button on thought and feeling programming. Letting that all stop, so that your attention is available to the reality of the moment. Thoughts and feelings are agitating. The realm of the heart is peaceful, clear, completely reliable.
But don’t take my word for it. Investigate in your own experience. Lose interest in thoughts and feelings – then see what’s left.
Wishing you a beautiful journey…