“Let the beauty of love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”
~Rumi
There is no doubt about it…I’m happy. Stop me at any random moment, and there it is – the deepest acceptance, heart full, primed for joy.
It’s not like I’m grinning from ear to ear in every moment. I’m simply happy. I don’t worry about the future or fret over what is happening now. I’m just here, present, awake to things as they are. To say that I go with the flow is an understatement.
Letting Go
The key to happiness is to let go. I have found that when I let go of ruminating, defending, and getting caught up in the drama of situations and relationships, happiness is here. It’s the most natural thing and miraculous at the same time. Right here and available by letting go.
This is not to say that troubles don’t arise. The other day, I woke up with a cloud of irritation over my head. I knew I could have easily been short with the people around me, which would have created disharmony and tension for sure.
But I was consciously aware of the mood that was paying me a visit, and set an intention to be kind in my interactions. I felt the urge to snap back, but chose kindness instead. Poof! Irritation gone.
Effortlessly Being Happy
I don’t fight unhappiness so I can make sure that I stay happy – it takes much less effort than that. I have seen that what I thought was true about myself and the world is actually false, and I’ve completely lost interest in it.
Anything personal – needs, demands, expectations, rules about how the world should work, what people should do – I just don’t give it any attention. I function in the world as a person with a name, age, gender, and appearance, but what I really am is peace.
I trust completely, which is why I don’t need to rely on thoughts, or even feelings, anymore. I know that the intelligence and clarity of life is perfect, and that’s where I live. Nothing personal to this illusion of “me” matters.
Practical Happiness
Even if you don’t consciously know this experience I’m describing, you can try it on to see what it feels like. Here is a window into my experience of daily life.
Ignore thoughts. It’s taken a few years, but I really see that about 98% of the thoughts that appear in my mind aren’t useful. They’re gibberish with no meaning. So I don’t pay attention to them. Play with that just for a short time, and you will see problems vanish.
See everyone and everything as yourself. It is true at the absolute level of reality that there is no separation. The essence of you is the same as the essence of everyone and everything you see. Live like this for 30 seconds, and you will be in awe of the magnificence that you can’t get away from if you tried. (And sometimes we try very hard.)
When you are unsure or confused, stop and listen. Don’t get panicky, scrambling to figure anything out. It won’t help. Instead, stop, bring your attention back to presence, and just listen. This is how I order food in a restaurant and plan many of my days. I check in and let myself be guided.
Feel urges, but don’t act on them. Remember when I was irritated? I didn’t act on the urge. Stay very conscious when you are triggered, and make the choice you really want that benefits everyone. I know it’s hard, but do it anyway. Have happiness be your highest priority always, and the rest falls right into place.
The body is your friend. When you are distracted by unhappy stories, bring your attention into the body. Just let the physical sensations be as they are. They will ground your attention as you return to sanity. This was helpful for me for a long time, but only rarely necessary now.
When you are triggered, always shift your attention to being aware. Thoughts, feelings, tendencies, stories, these are all objects that arise in awareness. Let them go, and simply be aware. Awareness is your true nature – boundless, completely at peace, infinitely loving. Live here in glorious surrender. That’s what I do.
Be fully conscious. In order to be fully conscious, you need to let go of all ideas about anything and everything. Pay attention to no mental activity whatsoever. In the silence, there is no body, no separate you, no space, no time. All division falls away, and only This remains – aliveness, awareness, being.
Happiness isn’t mysterious, and it is more available to you than you could ever imagine. It’s right here. I’m not special or extraordinary for knowing this. If I’ve had one blessing it is that the fire to know abiding happiness grabbed me and wouldn’t let go, and for that I am on my knees in gratitude.
How to know the art of practical happiness? Follow what is most alive in you. Then live it up in joy and celebration.
Comments? Questions? I’d love to hear…
Dawn Tibble says
It was great reading your post this morning. It serves to remind me of how important these things are for a happy and stress free life. How easy it is for us to get bogged down with negative inner dialogue, which in some cases are based on irrational thoughts. I discovered and now use the principles of meditation to develop awareness and and control over negative inner dialogue. I see everything more clearly now that my mind is not swimming with noise. Psychological skills like focus, concentration and confidence are all learnt as we grow and mature. However, these skills are much better learnt when the mind is clear and still. More should be done to teach these skills from an early age. Thank you again for sharing your post, it is inspiring.
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment, Dawn. I agree about teaching these skills to children. It could transform their lives – and the world.
Lisa Kuzak says
Hi Gail. What if what is most alive in me is the draw to not be “doing”? I want to just “be”. How can I live the life I’m drawn to, yet still support myself financially? I have never met anyone who feels this way. It is a strong pull to simply flow with the rhythms of life, which will lead me to be very nurturing and creative, but I feel like I need enormous down time and freedom to do this.
this.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Lisa,
I understand the pull to rest, be still, and simply flow. It is your true nature calling you. I hear that you biggest concern is about supporting yourself financially.
This is a rich area for investigation. It sounds like there is a belief running that says that you will not have everything you need if you don’t keep working. Can you absolutely know that that is true? Be completely radical in uncovering all beliefs. I’m not saying you should quit, but once you get to the very core of what is nagging at you, you may be surprised to find clarity.
I’m also wondering if you have ideas about what you need so that you can be creative and nurturing. In truth, there is always silence and freedom, even in the midst of intense activity and noise. Maybe what is being offered is the opportunity to investigate this also. And maybe what you need is physical rest.
You can live the life you are drawn to, in fact, it is already happening. Shine the light everywhere to see how your life in the world can be aligned with what you are drawn to. Maybe what is being asked is to be creative and nurturing about this very question.
Love…
Lisa Kuzak says
Thank-you, Gayle. You help me have faith in my inner wisdom. Can you elaborate on “You can live the life you are drawn to, in fact, it is already happening.”?
Gail Brenner says
What I mean, Lisa, is that no matter what we think or do, there is an undercurrent of life that is always here. Most of us live in a way that is disconnected with this. We think about the past and future, try to fulfill our every personal desire, compare, criticize, analyze – all of these are based on attention being squarely on thoughts. It’s a thought-driven life that has a personal “me” at the center of it.
If you disengage with this thinking, you notice that life unfolds perfectly. You don’t need to think to live. You don’t need to purposefully know anything. If you are in harmony with life, you simply let go, surrender, and let yourself be moved and guided. So your life is happening. You can be in resistance to it by rattling around in the mind or you can be aligned with it by letting it be as it already is.
Bruce C says
Another great post Gail. Love your blog.
Gail Brenner says
Great to hear from you, Bruce! Thank you.
Carla Wajid says
Reading your blog is scary as I believe we may be twins separated at birth..lol
My sentiments exactly….love finding other aliens out there like me…and to think I was all alone on this planet….
I will get my happiness chart off to you in the mail this week.
Love your being.
Gail Brenner says
Aliens unite, Carla! Love is everywhere and cannot be denied…
Metwo says
I love this post. What does one do though with the experience of grief. Profound loss? I lost my companion dog a short while ago. I see your picture with your beautiful baby and can see why you are so happy. I know only time will heal.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Metwo.
It is normal to feel loss when someone close to us dies. But if the grief continues, there is an attachment asking for exploration. It sounds like your dog fulfilled some need in you. The truth is that you are already completely whole – nothing missing. It is your nature. Somehow your mind has diverted your attention so you have lost touch with this truth. And this may keep you from celebrating the time you had with your dog.
I have written quite a bit about attachment that might help you. Check out the archives and these two articles – here and here.
In love and support…
Susan says
Hello Gail,
This may see like an unusual response but I am going to tell you about a dream I had a night or two before this post came through.
In the dream, I was living in a simple house in a tranquil landscape, surrounded by wide open space. I looked out the window and there was another house not far away. I realized it was your house and I was surprised and delighted because I thought you lived on the other side of the world.
The light went on in your house and I was going to go over and visit you. Before I could do that, you came to my door and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with you. We walked on a quiet path and you had a few wise words to say, but most of the time we walked in silence, completely immersed in the beauty of the surroundings and at peace in the timeless now.
Thank you for such a beautiful guide to happiness and peace.
Love, Susan
Gail Brenner says
I love the simplicity of this dream, Susan. Everything we long for is always available…
venkat says
Hi Gail,
Thank you for sharing techniques/tips, out of your experience. Your words are immensely valuable.
-Venkat
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for stopping by, Venkat. A warm welcome to you…
Babu says
Hello Gail,
In a time of many personal challenges, reading this post connected me to the person I was before my challenges. This is in-valuable. Thank you so much.
– Babu
Gail Brenner says
You are always peace, truth, love, Babu. May you be that knowingly…
Haider Asif says
Hi Gail
U r absolutely right. Photo, of u with a doggy, is so sweet. Haha… The key to happiness is to let go. I have been practicing this for several years. It really works. Ignoring thoughts also produces results. I apply this technique, ” This is just a thought and a thought can be changed.” However, I’ve never seen everything as myself consciously. Now, I will practice it. Stopping n listening is my most favorite n a very very very powerful tool that I utilize most often to get rid of confusions n negative thoughts. But I’ve not practiced consciousness technique. This article is really superb. Lots of love.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Haider,
Your interest in peace and happiness is so sweet. This is what it takes to know one’s true nature. Yes, practice seeing everything as yourself. Even if you don’t completely get it, look around and remind yourself that everything is you, from the same source. It is revolutionary, and your heart can’t help but overflow.
So much love to you…
Rusty says
Gail I have been following your posts for several months. This is my first comment/question. I know in my heart that what you are teaching is true. Here is my dilemma. How in the course of any given day do you balance all the decisions that have to be made with the ability to be in the present. For example having a daughter who is living a terrible lifestyle and having our 4 year old grandson living in the midst of it. Trying to decide about taking custody of him and all the conflict involved in that. Buying and remodeling a home and all the decisions involving that. How do we deal with all these decisions and sometimes complicated issues and stay in the present moment. Aren’t the two in conflict? How do we make right decisions about the future and remain in the now?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Rusty,
Welcome to you…I so appreciate your question.
You are never not in the now. It is impossible to be anywhere else. The mind might take you away and draw your attention into the future or past, but in truth, you are always here.
The way to make decisions is to let them be made. Stop, get quiet, and listen, and see what life is offering you. There is a natural intelligence to life that has the space to be heard and seen when we aren’t in the way with analyzing, fretting, comparing, etc. Sometimes we don’t like what we hear in this natural way, so we resist it. But life is always unfolding, and with surrender, we knowingly unfold with it in complete harmony. There is a great simplicity to this way of being – in the real world, in daily life. And it is possible, I can tell you from my own experience.
Let’s take “trying to decide about taking custody” of your grandson. In the end, you will or you won’t. Feel into all the parameters, allow your emotional reactions which may be painful, in other words, include everything, then listen to discover the answer.
Buying and remodeling a home are beautiful endeavors. You get to create a lovely place to live. I know it can be stressful, but the stress is added if we have ideas about how things should and shouldn’t be. Don’t resist reality in your thoughts, and there is no problem. There may be a lot to do, and it may not all go according to plan, but these things are only problems if you think they shouldn’t happen.
What I speak about here is living, breathing embodied life. It is the way of happiness, the way of no resistance, and we have the opportunity to live it in every moment.
Connie says
Hello Gail,
You wrote this post several weeks ago. At the time I read the lost, I felt distracted. I kept it in my inbox and read it again today on this lazy Saturday morning when my heart and mind felt absorbent. All of the concepts felt like they were quietly alive in color and accessible. Thank you so much for writing your beautiful post. As I’ve said before, they are delicious to my soul.
Gail Brenner says
Oh, delicious…I love that, Connie! I’m glad for the aliveness in heart and mind. xx
Naveen Kulkarni says
Hi Gail,
This is awesome article. As you said, happiness is available to us everywhere in every way; It’s up to us to recognize it and feel it.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Naveen, and thank you so much for your comment.
Adrian says
Hi Gail. Just joined your wonderful “team”. Thank you so much for showing me what has been under my nose all along. I am prone to relentless “analysis paralysis” and it is ruining my otherwise great life. I amdetermined to follow your wise words here and retrain my thoughts! Much love, Ade x
Gail Brenner says
Love this, Ade. A warm welcome to you. May your journey be sweet and fruitful! xx
Dave says
Hi Gail, Everything I read here rings so incredibly true! Sweet surrender. Thanks for sharing! Dave
Gail Brenner says
So sweet…. Sending love…
chintha says
Hi Gail, Thank you for being what you are. I’ve experienced what you say. And know the all encompassing truth of that. ‘ surrender’ and letting go and knowing that we are not separated from each other are the things that truly liberate us. (from ourselves?) And paying attention to body.. Thanks Thanks Thanks again.
Gail Brenner says
It’s my great pleasure, Chintha. Sending love to you…