“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”
~Rabindranath Tagore
I know what it’s like to live a life driven by emotion, and believe me, it won’t make you happy. Someone shows up late, and you are triggered by fear and anger. You get some negative feedback, and you sulk in sadness. You live in anxiety, chewing on thoughts about what will happen next and if it will all be okay.
It’s like you’re a yo-yo on a string, with your happiness tied to all the circumstances in your life that you cannot control. If you ask me, this is no way to live.
Guided by Emotions
Until you become fully aware of your inner experiences, emotions will rule. Guaranteed. Emotions are highly conditioned, meaning that they are automatic reactions that arise in you in response to things that happen. A memory comes to mind? You don’t need to make yourself feel sad, you just do, and your whole day may be affected.
And it’s not only about how you feel.
If you make decisions based on emotions, you are unlikely to be happy and fulfilled. You feel empty and choose the first potential partner who comes along, even though the red flags are flying everywhere. Because you are afraid, you don’t reach out to engage fully in the world. Your resentment keeps your heart closed and your relationships stuck year after year.
You are making choices all the time – are these the ones you really want to be making?
I didn’t think so. Maybe it’s time to shine the spotlight on emotions. Once you no longer let them guide you, you uncover the natural intelligence that flows in you and realize that living in calm and clarity is absolutely possible. Things simplify tremendously as you stop resisting life.
And here’s the amazing truth. You don’t need to get rid of any emotions or change them into happier ones. That takes way too much effort.
Instead, become aware of the feelings that take you over because once you see how feelings have been driving you, you can put them aside. Really, it’s possible. Then you have the space to be reasonable, flexible, and smart about how you live.
It’s a practical and relaxed way of being that ends the drama of chaos and confusion.
Shining the Spotlight
Your starting point is anything that you call a problem. An unresolved relationship from the past, work stress, an ongoing situation that frustrates you. Now,
Connect with the most intelligent part of you, the part that wants sanity and knows that peace is possible.
From there, shine the spotlight on the emotion that is fueling the problem. Simply recognize whatever you are feeling and notice the gap between you and the feeling.
Step back to take a look at the big picture so you can see how the emotion isn’t serving you. Is it fear or anger? Sadness or jealousy? Is it helping or hurting? Ask honest questions to realize that it limits you and masks your true beauty that is aching to be seen.
Now, consider bundling up the feeling and putting it aside. Why? Clarity tells you that it doesn’t serve, it’s not reasonable, and it doesn’t bring you happiness. Without any judgment or struggle, just for a moment, take the feeling out of your way. Put it on a shelf somewhere – you can always bring it back later.
Step forth unencumbered, free. Experience how your body feels without the weight of the feeling. See how open your mind can be when it is no longer entangled in the web of emotion.
Let’s return to the problem you started with. Now that emotions are out of the picture, how do things look different? What new choices come to mind? How does your body feel?
Even if this process seems difficult for you, imagine what it would be like to be free of feelings. Take any problem at any time. Look for the emotion in it, then put it aside. Immediately, you experience clarity, openness, and a fresh perspective.
Living Clarity
Difficult feelings can be like old friends who have overstayed their welcome. You are used to them being around, but you don’t really enjoy their company.
Know this, in your heart of hearts: Feelings are temporary, and you can let them go. They don’t have to guide and define you. Moment after moment, you can find the place in you that is free of emotion. And when you do, live there happily with clarity, intelligence, and love.
Are you stuck in emotions? Can you put them aside? I’d love to hear…
Rick says
Hi Gail…
This blog came the day after I acted out my emotions in what seemed like a creative and unique way that, after stepping back, have left me feeling somewhat embarrassed, creepy, silly and a little shameful. I’ve spent a lifetime being dragged around by my “feelings” (after all I am an artist and songwriter). Anyway I thought I had finely gotten a handle and learned patience and self-control. Apparently not enough though. Sometimes my heart and mind seem like embattled prisoners. This last mish-mash I can’t undo but with the time and the help of things such as your well-timed words and letting go I will move on……….
I’ve been following your blog and enjoying you guided meditations for 2-3 months now. Thank you for what you do.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Rick,
I think it’s only a matter of time for you. Once you get tired of being dragged around by your feelings, the momentum of them begins to run out. These reactions will occur, but you see them more quickly each time.
You bring up an interesting point about self-control. I know what you mean, but I don’t think of it that way. When you really feel into the pain of acting on your emotions, a natural intelligence takes over that wants things to be different. It’s not a forceful self-control, but a gradual awakening in you of clarity and openheartedness and the desire to live here. These eventually take precedence and things change effortlessly. You can think of it as remembering or clearing away the clouds that hide the sweetness of who you really are.
Charles Boatwright says
Gail i agree with you…to an extent. Yes being guided on emotions can lead you to be unhappy an make damaging choices…but if your running from the the things in your past that have caused you to not trust or being emotionally guarded,then you find happiness an you let your emotions go you trust an then the trust is broken…an you run because you feel like you cant control how you feel. An if that’s the case why do people run from the past an let it ruin relationships that have room to grow you can email me jamishendrix@gmail i just find it perplexing that people tend to run from their emotions rather than deal with them so they can find a better outlet
Gail Brenner says
People tend to run from their feelings because they may be painful. Or the person may be scared of what they will experience if they truly let themselves feel the feeling. Recognizing what we commonly call a “gut feeling” can be helpful. That’s a sign in the body to move forward or protect ourselves.
But if you let yourself be batted about by your feelings, they won’t lead you to happiness. You feel sad, scared, angry, disappointed, etc. They go on endlessly. If you think a feeling is a sign that something needs to be fixed, you will be stuck in trying to fix things endlessly.
Better to recognize the feeling as it arises in the moment and meet it with love and acceptance. Then it’s given the attention it craves, but you’re not letting it rule your choices.
It’s a good sign that you are perplexed about why people run from their emotions. You have been blessed with the tendency to turn toward your experience, which as you know, will help you in the long run.
Lisa Redding says
“If you think a feeling is a sign that something needs to be fixed, you will be stuck in trying to fix things endlessly.”
I have lived so much of my life this way; especially in my marriage. I have spent SO MUCH time being upset and thinking I needed to fix things that didn’t even need to be fixed. I have been so wrapped up in my emotions that I have not been able to think clearly and respond accordingly.
Gail Brenner says
So great to realize this, Lisa. Now you can experiment with unattaching yourself from these emotions. See them like clouds floating across the sky, and you are the sky – open and welcoming no matter what passes through. You will gain some important insights about how to respond to situations without following your emotions.
Amanda says
Hi I was just reading about ‘how to be happy, don’t follow your feelings’. Everything that is mentioned relates to me so much, I have lived my life with my emotions ruling me for as long as I can remember and due to this have not been able to live happily ever! I forget what that feeling of ‘happiness ‘ feels like. I have made some wrong decisions in life thro living like this and it eats me up every day. I constantly live in the past and what I could have said and done to change things. As I get older it’s draining me on a daily basis and I just want to change the way I think and most of all be happy. I loved reading your article and took some warmth and positives from it. That’s a first for me. Thank You
Gail Brenner says
Hi Amanda,
You get to decide when to let the past stop eating you up because it is eating you up now. The past is done, and right now is so incredibly fresh and new.
Try experimenting in small ways with putting your feelings aside. Happiness is right here, right now, and you can choose it by stepping out of the fog of feeling and being present with what is here in the moment. But you have to be willing to let go of these old emotions and experience life in a new way.
In love and support…
Amanda says
Hi Gail…
I just want to thank you for your response, also I’m now making a conscious effort to start now to change the way I think and feel, too many years have gone by by being prisoner to my emotions and letting them rule and run my life almost to the point I don’t know who I am. I know this will be a long journey but I’m ready to start living.
I really relate to a lot of your posts and by that I’m finding the strength to let go and move on HAPPILY
Gail Brenner says
This is so beautiful, Amanda. At some point, you say, “Enough is enough,” and that is where you are.
The more open and willing you are, the smoother the journey. Blessed journey to you…
Eva says
I think by emotions, you mean the subconscious mind which so often drives behavior. I’m a hypnotherapist and we see it frequently enough. The emotions are not the problem, it’s the subconscious program that’s the problem. Often following your “gut” is the wisest and safest bet. It’s ascertaining the difference between gut instinct (inner wisdom) and fear reactions, etc which are simply subconscious programs and which often are not healthy or helpful to us.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks for your comment, Eva.
I’m not sure what you mean by subconscious program, but it sounds like we are on the same page. There is often a habit constellation of emotion, thoughts/story, and felt physical sensation in the body. And when unexamined, this runs under the radar of conscious awareness and causes all kinds of trouble. I’m sure you see that in your practice all the time.
In this post, I was speaking about emotions, but thoughts and physical sensations can be just as powerful.
Big Yes! to being able to discriminate what is inner wisdom and following it! Thank you for the work that you do.
John says
Hi Gail, How does one put aside emotions that seem to override everything else? I have just broken up with my girlfriend and all I can feel/see/sense is this overwhelming pain and hurt. There seems no point to anything. I understand what you are saying intellectually, but feel unable to apply it to the reality of the situation. It’s like there’s nothing else but the pain. Thank you.
Eva says
Try EFT, self hypnosis, or hypnosis with a hypnotist. Google it online. The EFT and self-hypnosis you can do yourself for free.
Gail Brenner says
Hi John and C Robarts,
As I said in my response to Terri, the perspective presented in this post does not apply to all situations. It is about finding freedom from chronic emotional patterns that keep people stuck.
But when there is an acute change such as a breakup or the death of a loved one, the feelings may be so strong that it is impossible to set them aside. Besides, you wouldn’t want to as the way through is to allow the feelings to be present and as C said to not run from them. Grieving a loss is a time to take good care of yourself and get support.
I wrote a post a few years ago when I was just starting to emerge from the pain of a breakup. You can find it here. For me, it was a balance of letting all the feelings in and doing some simple activities that were enjoyable and/or distracting. Grief tends to come in waves, so good to notice the times when things feel more okay.
Thank you both for your questions. Love to you…
C Robarts says
Hi Gail,
Could you comment on your post today about setting aside emotions in view of the need during times of grief to not run from the feelings, but to be willing to feel the pain.
Thanks for your work,
Terri says
I lost my dad to cancer in Sept . of 2012. His wife and my stepmom also passed two mos. later. My mom had several strokes and cannot walk or speak and has gone into dementia.
I have lost some ability to focus well and as a manager overseeing people at work, I can’t tolerate difficult people at work. I am on medicine for depression. My emotions have taken over. I work as director of Parish Adminiatration at a church and find my boss Sr. Pastor not at all understanding. I have decided to seek another job at a lower level that does not oversee others. Any thoughts or Comments? Thank you.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Terri,
This post is about one perspective on feelings but does not apply to all people in all situations, and yours is one of the exceptions. You have experienced a large amount of stress in a short period of time, and it’s completely understandable that you feel the weight of your emotions. In your situation, I wouldn’t recommend that you put them aside and move forward.
It sounds like what might be needed is space to grieve the loss of your loved ones and a focus on taking very good care of yourself. Grief groups are available in most communities and can be very helpful for people moving through loss. And there are many ways to take care of yourself by getting support from others, taking down time for yourself, and doing things you enjoy. If you are not getting support in your current position, maybe finding a new job will bring some ease to your life.
Be patient as you process through these circumstances, as it may take time to feel better. Look inside to find your inner resilience and don’t forget to notice the brighter moments. Gently orient your life toward ease and well being.
Jane D says
I agree with John. What you are saying makes sense and it is exactly what I need but I don’t know how to make it happen. I’ve got loads of anger and resentment towards my mom and sister. I have no idea what it feels like to be in a body t&t doesn’t carry around those emotions. I honestly tried imagining putting them on a shelf but the fact is they are still with me. I can’t get past it.
Eva says
Try EFT, this is an excellent way to shed negative emotions. You can learn how to do this online for free. They are using to heal trauma in war veterans, google EFT and veterans, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I use this with clients in my private practice, (complementary to the hypnotherapy I provide) and it can work wonders! I hope you find it helpful.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Jane,
You are at a wonderful starting point when you say that this is “exactly what you need.” This means that you know you are holding on to the anger and resentment, but these aren’t serving you and you want to let them go. This is a different situation than what John wrote about. He is dealing with a recent loss, but my impression is that these emotions have been with you for some time.
There is some hook that is keeping you attached, and it would be for you to explore – either on your own or with the help of a professional counselor. Is there a belief in you that they shouldn’t have done what they did? Do you feel like a victim and that you are owed something? These are the kind of stories that keep feelings stuck. If you identify them, you can see how they don’t serve your peace and happiness.
Feelings are let go of in the moment only. Take a moment when you feel angry. First, ask yourself: What do I really want in this moment for myself? Find the place in you that wants to be free as this is the power of your natural intelligence. Then turn away from the feeling. Stop repeating the stories, feel the physical sensations in your body without the story, and commit to your well being – just in the moment.
It’s a radical practice that takes some time with highly conditioned emotions, but I and others who comment here are testimonies to the possibility of release (see Sandra’s comment). The feelings I had in the past barely arise and when they do, they have nowhere to land. How did that happen? Letting go moment by moment.
Jane D. says
Thank you for your response. You are right on (and I’m shocked!) 🙂 I do feel cheated and victimized, and I continue to feel that way as actions of favoritism repeatedly come up. I know these feelings are not part of my peace and happiness but I also know I’m right and justified in my thinking. I get angry (and am sometimes still in denial) that I can’t convince my mom to understand my feelings and I honestly think of her as a roadblock to my peaceful existence. I feel better when I stay away, but I can’t shut them out completely. I am definitely feeling stuck. I plan to see someone about this, Gail. Thank you for your wise words.
Gail Brenner says
I’m glad you are taking action on this, Jane – for your peace and happiness. All the best to you in your healing…
Sandra Pawula says
What a great post title! I couldn’t resist although I would have come anyway since I love your writing.
I believe all that you’ve shared here and know that feelings are temporary. They can still get my goat, but with practice and awareness, they are far less troublesome in the past. It’s an ongoing practice for me, but I agree we can always connect with our greater intelligence, which is there waiting for us 24 hours a day.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sandra!
I love hearing about your commitment to being aware and connecting with that which is far greater than the personal self. Reports like this are an inspiration to everyone.
Much love…
Kathy Gabriel says
This is so true … sounds difficult, even impossible, but it is achievable.
I have tried expressing, ignoring suppressing, but that does not work for m.
Then I started observing and allowing without the negative energy behind it. I truly want goodness for myself and others but I allowed the burden of responsibility for others’ choices to weigh me down. Now I’m offloading and trying to be gentle with myself and others. Observing the feeling of disappointment and choosing to respond with self-care is making a difference. It fesls a bit strange, but in a good way. I feel lighter.
Gail Brenner says
Great to hear from someone who’s been through it, Kathy. Observing and allowing without the negative energy – that’s just it. You see that you constantly have choices. If you are disappointed, you can go into the story of it and suffer or choose to respond in a different way – for you it is self-care. I’m not surprised you feel lighter. Thanks for letting others know about what is possible.
Kathy Gabriel says
Typos … me; feels …! 🙂
You really broke it down into manageable pieces.
Lynne Spreen (@Lynne says
There is so much here to savor. Largely as a result of my corporate career in HR, I learned volumes about emotions and how they are not necessarily trustworthy, or worth acting on, or permanent. In fact, they are surprisingly malleable. Thanks for a wise post.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Lynne. Thanks so much for your comment. It sounds like you understand the simplicity that comes from seeing through emotions clearly.
Marie says
Your advice seems to run contrary of 90% of psychotherapy.
What do you say about the advice of “feel your feelings” and let them flow through you?
What about “honor and listen to your feelings because they have valuable information”?
I tried the Buddhist perspective of “oh, that feeling is just a thought, like a cloud let it pass” and I found I was not learning from my feelings and the situation would repeat itself until I learned what I needed.
It felt like I was being dismissive of my feeling side rather than honoring, loving and cherishing the feeling side of myself.
Marie
Gail Brenner says
Hi Marie,
I appreciate your comment and am in the process of writing another post to make some clarifications.
My approach is very practical and is about discovering that happiness is possible in the moments of our everyday lives. Avoiding feelings altogether is resisting what is and breeds problems such as addiction and other challenging behavior patterns. But getting caught in feeling feelings can exaggerate problems and strengthen the unhappy story that accompanies them. Neither supports happiness.
But realizing the nature of a feeling, what it actually is – a story and physical sensations – offers the possibility of freedom in the moment. Repeating the story is agitating, so if you shift your attention away from the story, you notice physical sensations that appear in the space of being aware. In and of themselves, they are no problem whatsoever.
Yes, honor feelings if they appear as part of the human experience, but see them accurately. Don’t worship them because you will never find relief in the story. And if life choices are made based on feelings such as fear or resentment, your path is unlikely to be fulfilling. These are the chronic feelings it is best not to follow.
Each moment offers an opportunity to choose happiness, which is a miracle. Don’t dismiss your feelings, but don’t indulge them either. Find the clearest, sanest part of you that is already whole and completely in love with life. Let this be your guide, and your life will flourish.
Kaylin says
Such a beautifully written post. Excellent advice and so much of this resonates with me.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for stopping by, Kaylin. Glad the post resonated with you.
Nishi says
As always, I am grateful and happy for your posts. They always help me in finding much clarity when things are muddled 🙂 I hope you get the time to do an audio meditation for this post because they have been a great source of peace and strength the last several months. Much love and gratitude to you Gail!
Gail Brenner says
I appreciate your suggestion, Nishi. I’m glad you like the audios.
Much love…
Ellen says
How does someone like me who is an empath and Highly Sensitive reconcile all the sensory input and overstimulation, and feeling overwhelmed by the vibrations/situations of the world and in my family? Years ago, I used to think I was in the flow and felt peace but now I see I was in denial of so many issues… and now life feels like it’s all too much. I’m having split second flashbacks of times past when I felt overwhelm but didn’t know it at the time.
The sadness I feel watching my parents decline every day (I’ve lived with them for over 2 years, trying to be a caregiver, in the sad sick home I grew up in…) and the losses I’ve dealt with in the past 10 years…loss of a marriage, home, pets… I keep trying to remember a time when I felt happier. I’m scared that I’ve lost that too. And then, I know that my ‘words create my reality’ and feel very angry at myself for the condition my life is in. My folks get the news, read the paper, and the gloom is too much. But then the light feels like too much too. I feel very stuck. And scared. I keep gravitating to blogs and books that offer some advice. Thank you for listening.
Mariajose says
Ellen, I’ve find it helpful to take time alone when life seems that overwhelming. There was a time I was there, and I tried many things to change it and push the change. I found that once I took a step back and spend a little time with myself (and yes I know it is hard when you have a lot going on) that I could see the big picture. We are all here to experience certain things and the more we fight these experiences the more unhappy we become. Change can only happen when you accept your circumstances, it’s a funny thing that the universe does.
As far as the empath thing goes, with time I’ve been told you will be able to control it and figure where the extra emotion is coming from, once you understand it it will not affect you as much. I am still learning myself. Blessings, peace and happiness being sent your way.
Ellen says
Thank you Mariajose.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Ellen,
My apologies to you, as I just saw this comment and realized I missed it from back in October. So sorry.
I could really feel your experience of overwhelm through your words. I don’t think it’s about reconciling the sensory input, but more about figuring out how to relate to it. I often talk about being completely receptive to sensations, but this may not be the right approach for you. Instead, when you’re feeling the strong sensations and overwhelm, maybe you can take a few deep breaths, focusing on the sensations of the breath, then let your attention settle in just being aware—so you’re not grabbing onto any sensations or thoughts, but just being the welcoming space for them. Bring your attention to the field of awareness, of just being aware. The overwhelm may try to grab your attention, but don’t create a story around it. Let yourself get a bit of relief from everything, by letting it go, just for a moment.
Then, little by little, see if you can begin to hold the possibility within you for a peaceful way of being. You have two choices for peace – change your situation or change the way you are relating to what’s happening. Either one is a valid, beautiful way to be peaceful. See what works for you, then begin to experiment to discover what needs to shift in your inner experience to find those moments of peace.
In love and support to you…
Ellen says
Thank you Gail.
milly says
hi, my best friend told me that we must set aside our emotions. And i am willing also to do that because i have notice that i am being burden of something that we didnt even expect. There is someone in his life that came along before me and she is so obsessed of him, she don’t want to let go of him. in most times we have notice that we have grown intimate with each other and she want me out of my best friend life. i understand that she cant handle the rejection but she keep on confronting me. But now that we let go of our emotions and setting our goals and plans in our life, we have become more productive. 🙂
Gail Brenner says
I love this, Milly! That’s just it. We’re productive and practical when we let go of the drama around emotions.
Thanks so much for posting this!
Thomas w. says
This blog has given me tools to change my thinking. I found this balance years ago, I thought but I just learned to live with my emotions. The past two years I became a substance abuser with mental disorders because I’ve pushed far too long. Spirituality is hard to grasp because I have so many doubt’s. I’m so stuck on the press go button. Willingness turn into a process day in and out. This talks a lot about something I haven’t thought of at all … Don’t be guided by how you feel?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Thomas,
If you’re stuck on the press go button, then maybe the invitation to you is to consider stopping. You’re so used to going at warp speed, so just take a deep breath, exhale, and stop for a second. Then you get to face yourself.
The only way to true peace that I know of is to turn toward our own experience and make friends with it. We stop hiding. Then you may see emotions swirling, but they’re conscious to you so they don’t have to be in control. As you know, feelings will take us every which way – I’m scared, I’m angry, I’m lonely… It’s endless.
There is a natural intelligence that runs through all of us that has nothing to do with our feelings. And the best way to access it is to get quiet so it has space to be heard.
devraj says
How did you prepare such a great content? I mean it’s just brilliant
Gail Brenner says
I’m glad it’s helpful for you. I always speak from my experience.
Backwaters says
Thank you so much for sharing your insights. I have a heavy feeling in my left scapular region. I have been aware of it for about 20 years or more. Now and then some kind of dire emotional pain seems to be radiating out of it. I just stay in the moment, aware, allowing it to be and it will pass after a while. Of late, the pain comes more often. It is distracting me from everything else. It is demanding all my attention. I am kind of worried about this trend. Please advise..
Gail Brenner says
I don’t know, Backwaters, but maybe there is a strong emotion surfacing that is asking for your attention? If you can, perhaps you can consult with a psychotherapist who recognizes the value of including the body in moving through deeply held patterns.
Backwaters says
Thank you Gail. I had a couple of sessions with a body-centered psychotherapist. It helped me heal further. Yet at the same time, the phenomenon continues.
The therapist asked me what I would like to replace this feeling with and move in that direction. He said that I shouldn’t just be with the feeling all the time. I would love to let go and move on. I bring in thoughts of a beautiful future while recognizing how it is now. Yet the demand for attention by the pain can be so intense at times that I get distracted from every other line of thought. That makes it v challenging especially when I need to focus for my exams. I increasingly feel that there is no other option apart from being with it in the light of my presence. But I do wonder if I am doing the right thing. What if I am supposed to ignore it and move on with building my life? I don’t know…
Andy says
My girlfriend and I have combined households with our 6 kids collectively. Recently, she has had some severe emotional and financial difficulty from her ex husband which has uncovered my severe lack of personal emotional control. She is a strong woman but even strong women need emotional support in difficult times. I get bogged down in my own emotional quagmire with “yeah, but….” comments of where I’m not getting something I desired. I’m not that kind of person when emotions aren’t front and center. Learning to get my emotions out of the inner circle of decision making and guidance and bringing in my mind instead has been like a weight off my shoulders. it will take time. I will have bad days. I will have difficult days. But this relationship I have with this woman, and my inner well being and peace, is more important. Being the supportive partner she needs, and I need to be, is what is paramount. Thank you for this article.
Gail Brenner says
I’m so glad it was helpful for you, Andy! Beautiful to see that getting caught in the drama of emotions is optional.
Dena Andrew says
Gail,
If only I would have seen this years ago maybe my life wouldn’t be in total turmoil. Showing my feelings/emotions which is not a pretty site, has cost me a relationship that meant so much to me.
I didn’t realize until now that I let my feelings control my life. How can I fix it?
Thank you for this article.
Gail Brenner says
Just start where you are, Dena. And begin with self-compassion. You did your best with things as they were, and now there’s a new beginning possible.
I’m not sure what you mean by fix it. Maybe apologize and make amends if that’s appropriate? The most important thing from your insight is to begin living now from a place of clarity. I hear that you really want that.
Tamisha says
Thank you
Uasila says
Dear Gail, I just came across to your article and I got some valuable insight, although putting my feelings aside doesn’t resolve the particular problem I’m facing. Clearly my emotions are based on somebody else’s actions and behaviour.
Gail Brenner says
Hello, Uasila,
When you put your feelings aside and sit quietly, there is room for your inner guidance to show itself to you. I’m glad you found some insights here!
archie says
Thankyou for this Article Gail, I hope it is easy to put the feelings aside. what about by MBTI types.
According to that I am an INFP, So my behaviour type has feelings as a major trait. I guess it is a challenge for us even more. My whole day is driven by emotion. If my mood is bad i dont cook food properly, My home is a mess. so everything depends upon how I feel and i am trapped in the emotions everyday. As i notice everything i questions everything and i get triggered by people who manipulate and lie. So it is always my emotions sway one way to the other.
Regards
Archana
Gail Brenner says
Thank you for commenting here, Archana. See if you can bring love and kindness to these feelings when they arise. If you meet them lovingly, then you will see that there is space to not live according to them. You don’t push them away, but you welcome them in and care for them. Then you – from the wisest place in you – can become clear about the best course of action. Don’t feed these feelings with more story. Simply say, “Oh, hello anger, hello fear or disappointment.” Be loving towards them then go on with your day.