“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
~Rainer Maria Rilke
There was a time when all I wanted was to know the answers. If someone asked me a question, my mind would get right on it, working hard to find just the right response. I wanted to know and get it right.
But now, I’m much more fascinated by questions than answers. I love to swim in not knowing, to float in the space that allows answers to arise. I don’t need to know, and I’m happy to tell my busy mind that it’s okay to be at ease.
Want to try it out? Take a breath, and let any of these questions flow into your consciousness—now and whenever you feel stuck. Your only job is to be receptive, curious, and open.
10 Uplifting Questions
1. What is most alive in me right now?
2. What is life asking of me?
3. What can I surrender right now that isn’t serving?
4. What false beliefs am I taking to be true?
5. Can I say “Yes!” to what’s happening in this moment?
6. What am I avoiding that is asking for my attention?
7. Can I welcome what’s happening in my body right now?
8. Can I stop, breathe, and simply be aware?
9. Who or what am I?
10. Can I open to what is present right now?
And if you’re enjoying The End of Self-Help, feel free to write a review on Amazon. It helps others to know more about the book. Just scroll down to the end of the reviews and click on “write a customer review.”
Always in love,
Pam says
This is what I know for sure. I don’t know a thing. This statement has set me free. Along with meditation. I’ll give you an example. My neice was accepted into a college to be a Psych nurse. Now in her past she lived as a shadey character. So recently she posted a picture of dog on Instagram. Now she already has a new dog. She stated she is getting her new pup in a few weeks. She was to leave to another city in two weeks to study for two years. So in my head I’m getting upset reverting back to her crazy years thinking omg! She is back to drinking going crazy at the bars and fell back to her old self. That went on in my head for a few days until I finally text her. She sounded so excited. She was going to university. She found a roommate. She found the perfect condo that would take her dog. She got a job that she wanted. Her roommate had all the living room furniture. She said everything fell into place perfectly. She could not believe it!!! They were getting another puppy for her boyfriend because he was going to really miss their dog and truly enjoyed having a pet in the house. Moral of the story. Just be a good listener. You truly don’t know a thing. Oh and meditate. Have a wonderful day 🙂
Gail Brenner says
Makes life so much easier to realize what we don’t know! Thanks for sharing this story.
Roger says
I have read this one before but, wasn’t ready to really open to it until now. It was an interesting exercise in that the way it is phrased took the edge off the less useful, circular, way of thinking. There is the thinking that is about a false belief that beats you up and gets you nowhere, keeps you stuck (been there and shall be there again;-). Then there is being open and curious. This exercise was the latter kind of thinking, more intuitive and helpful in being clear about the story. It helped define what questions were pertinent in this moment. The questions that weren’t right for this moment got perfunctory answers and the ones that were relevant, the “right” questions for this moment, naturally flowed.
Perhaps more importantly, by being open and clear about the question, it creates space to be more compassionate about the story. We all have them but, do we want to beat ourselves up and hold onto the story or, would we rather welcome the story with compassion and understanding to help reduce the power we give it? After doing it the hard way so many times, I’m voting for loving compassion.
So, thumbs up on the post.
Gail Brenner says
And thumbs up on this comment filled with insight, Roger. xx
jollyjohn says
Ihave read this articles.Is was very touching.thank you. lovingly jolly
Gail Brenner says
Love right back to you, Jolly! xx
Laurie says
These all sound so loving.. But until my mind and heart move on to a comfortable place, I will be stuck in the moment where time doesn’t move and heartache continues. My own fault and nobody elses’
Gail Brenner says
Hi Laurie,
Seeing this as your “fault” brings with it the possibility of taking responsibility for your actions and healing. So don’t wallow in feeling bad about yourself and the choices you’ve made. Use these insights to begin to turn your mind and heart to clarity, truth, and love. And you can start by taking good care of yourself and reducing the drama in your life.
Sending love… xoxo
Annie Paul says
I lost a friendship of almost 50 years. There were three of us. We were like soul sisters, went on trips together once or twice a year, talked at least once or twice a day, prayed, talked nineteen to the dozen, and laughed till it hurt. And then started a saga of events, maybe with my insecurities… one thing led to the other, My personality believes in communicating, clarifying, forgiving and moving on. Both of theirs were just to let things be, don’t talk about it and move on. They both stopped talking to me for some time. They both still talk but only talk in spurts with me. I wanted to just give up on life. I went through the darkest days of my life. I screamed silently and sometimes in a nagging way with calls and emails for their attention. Other than losing my self respect, there was no positive outcome. They blamed it all on me.
Desperate and hopeless, I went to a therapist which did help a little. The consistent racing thoughts in my head, every free moment, all through the day made me almost go crazy. I came to a point where I did not want to talk to them if they called me, but craved to hear from them if they did not call. I have come half way where I am not obsessed with the thoughts, not crying all the time, but there is still a lot to let go to have acceptance and peace.
I happened to google how to let go of pain or something and came across your website. Loved it at first go. What you said resonated so much with what I needed to hear. The first day when I went through the steps itself was so healing and comforting. It was like a”Aha” moment for me. So here I am… Thank you Dr.Brenner.
Gail Brenner says
So happy to meet you, Annie! Wishing you a lovely and fruitful journey…. Love Gail