“Wisdom begins in wonder.”
~Socrates
I recently spent some time with someone who triggers me, and my motto going in was “flow like water.” Flow like water: it turned stress into enjoyment, annoyance into curiosity. And it neutralized my reactions before they even had a chance to take hold.
And, since I was no longer caught up in my inner ruminations, it brought so much more compassion and understanding to our interactions.
Think about it. What does it mean to flow like water? Water resists nothing. It goes everywhere, embracing everything. It has no opinions or judgments.
It offers a gentle “yes” to everything it touches. Not a passive “yes” or a doormat “yes.” It’s a yes that comes from a loving, empowered choice to open our hearts to things exactly as they are—for peace, calm, and sanity.
Flow or Resist?
I recently received an email from someone desperately wanting her life circumstances to change. You could hear her plea to the universe in her words. “Please improve my health so that l can be happy.”
And here’s the truth: her health is as it is and my friend is sometimes harsh and unkind. We can wish with all our hearts for things to be different, but here we are, right smack in the middle of the life that has been given to us. Situations, people, our own conditioned reactions—this is the reality of what is here.
It’s Your Choice
We’re certainly not required to flow with things as they are. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting things to change.
But it’s important to know that you have a choice: how are you going to meet what appears?
And I choose the simplicity, ease, and inner stillness that come with flowing with things as they are.
How to Flow Like Water
Are you interested in experimenting? Want to experience what it’s like to flow like water? Try these:
In Relationships
- Ignore your own opinions and preferences (I know it’s a lot to ask—just try it).
- Stay open and present by listening deeply.
- Try understanding other people rather than judging them. Be curious. What are they feeling? What is motivating them?
In Life Circumstances You Can’t Change
- Appreciate the power of honesty and authenticity with accepting what is true.
- Tell yourself that this is how things are at the moment.
- Say, “yes” or “okay,” this is what is here right now.
- Stop feeding the wish or hope for the situation to be different.
- From this place of deep acceptance, what is being asked of you?
With Yourself
- Don’t let your opinions and judgments define you.
- Acknowledge difficult feelings when they arise, but don’t let them determine your choices. Instead, let things unfold.
- Put aside your thoughts about things and instead be curious about what’s happening right in front of you.
- Don’t assume anything about who you are or how you’ve responded in the past. Be open, fresh, and fluid.
When you find yourself stuck, caught, or just plain unhappy, consider flowing like water. It might just be the welcome shift that sets you free.
What About You?
What happens when you flow like water? What is it like to resist—and to flow? What do these experiments show you? I’d love to hear. And if you’re reading by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.
Always in love,
Gail
image credit
Amanda says
Every time I read one of your articles I feel rejuvenated, excited and hopeful of how different life and situations can be with a simple change in approach or thinking. I’m learning how to look at things differently and have more compassion towards others. I want my life to change and by changing the things that are not working is an uneasy feeling but one of feeling the future will be better. You are an inspiration and your work certainly helps me in everyday life.
Gail Brenner says
I’m so glad to hear this, Amanda. Yes, moving out of our comfort zone can bring an uneasy feeling, but the only way things change is to step into the unknown. Love hearing about your openness! xx
Veronica Nipper says
I totally enjoy reading different aspects on any given subject. What you offer are different ways of looking at ourselves and reassessing who we are verses who we should be. As we all know “none is perfect but the father” but we are to strive for that perfection. I appreciate being given other options on redefining who I am in order to view from different perspectives. Thanks for always offering articles to enlighten us.
Gail Brenner says
I love what you say here, Veronica, as it’s our old, limiting perspectives that suppress our happiness. I appreciate that you are open to ways that are new and fresh!
Susie says
Flow like water… this is beautiful, relaxing and free. Thank you Gail.
Gail Brenner says
It’s my absolute pleasure, Susie. xx
Malcolm cragg says
Hi Gail,great post,I understand what you are getting at.
I am going through a difficult time,after losing the love of a lady I adored.but without your inspiration I would be in a far worse place.
I must remember I am healthy,I just came home from a winter bike ride,and count my blessings I can get out in the sun.
Flow like water is a lovely thought of the day,
Regards Malcolm.
Gail Brenner says
If you flow like water, Malcolm, you’ll be in touch with that part of you that is infinitely healthy. You sound like you’re bringing a warm and forgiving attitude to your situation.
Malcolm cragg says
Thank you for your kind support,I treasure it,
Helen C. Gennari says
I love the concept of flowing like water. I love water, little creeks, fountains ~~ and I think it is because of the visual “flow” that speaks of non-resistance, moving along without judgment, allowing. Thanks for sharing some of the ways we can do this in the moment.
Gail Brenner says
I’m glad you mentioned the visual aspect, Helen. Yes, we can picture water flowing, which can free us in any moment.
martina says
What a lovely post Gail, so helpful to me at present, working with my emotions of love and despair around family. Am so appreciative of this and am carrying your words to help remind me of the perspective of others. I want it “all to be my best” and I miss the present moment in that. Thanks again
Gail Brenner says
Hi Martina,
What a great place to experiment – flowing like water with your family members. Then you’re available to feel what they’re feeling and to be so much more compassionate.
Sending love…
Tiffany sanborn says
I love this article. A tarot reader in my town has the motto “more like water , less like rock”. That has always stuck with me as well.. I tend to get very graspy when I think a client isn’t coming to me anymore.. worried about the future etc.. I have a stick note to remind me:
“Let clients flow in and out of my chair like water, no clenched fist.”
When I remember these things they are soooo amazing and helpful!
happy new year Gail!
Gail Brenner says
Hi Tiffany,
I love that the second we remember, we just know the truth. We recognize sanity and peace with a huge “Yes!”
Kay Moon says
Thank you Gail for a wonderful viewpoint to begin this new year. I have been practicing this thought process for some time now and the results are awesome. I tell myself “go with the flow” inside instead of trying to pit up roadblocks & it works great! You’ve helped me so very much throughout 2015, I’m thankful I found your website. Blessed be.
Gail Brenner says
So much love to you, Kay. My heart is singing!!
artemis says
Hi Gail, I have found living under circumstances with someone I no longer wish to be with, very difficult and extremely challenging. But with time I learnt to stop the struggle and pain I had to let go and surrender to “what is”. To learn to accept I am where I am suppose to be. I learnt living under these circumstances was part of my journey and learning to detach from this person was also. I have learned (and continue to) not to give my power away to a situation,thing or person. I have learned to protect myself emotionally and detach myself to not lose my energy. It’s been a hard journey but one I can admit I have grown to allow,accept and detach. Realizing the only thing that matters is my life and happiness and not becoming stuck in “others”. Love you post Gail.
Gail Brenner says
I love this, Artemis! What you report here is a testament to what’s possible. No one ever said life is easy and not filled with challenges – no matter how “awake” we might be. We get what we get. And you have used that well – to find your way through to peace and ease. These are profound lessons that are part of you now and can’t be unlearned. Some would say that you’re now functioning at a higher level of consciousness, less caught in conditioning, more aware, loving, and free.
artemis says
And some could say,me! I am so grateful to have teachers in my life teaching me what I need to learn and see. Thank you so much Gayle for your guidance and helping me along my path . Sincerely grateful dear teacher:)
Manik nath says
Dear Gail,First of all let me wish you “A VARY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016 . I love your every viewpoint on peace of mind and nourishment inside .may be i don’t reply your comment regularly but i always read your every mail. you know Gail,i have some curiosity inside of me learning the root of everything ,but whenever i start to proceed at some extend i manage but i in the middle of journey i found myself helpless and diverted ,may be for lac of knowledge or lac of courage . that’s why i found myself half , at the same time i start to feel criticize myself and self doubt start and become demotivated .
And Yes off course! I am vary happy and start learning how to cope with every unresolved feeling which appear regularly where i have to new look and to flow with love and care…
Thank you,
With love and care !
Gail Brenner says
It sounds like you are human, Manik! You are a truth lover, and sometimes your attention gets diverted. When you realize it, that’s another opportunity to return home to the source of all.
Best wishes to you for a very Happy New Year to you and your loved ones…
Ankush Chauhan says
Hi Gail,
Nice to be back reading your wisdom. Yes, flowing like water is the essense of Tao.
There’s an inherent conflict in what i hear. You say, “We’re certainly not required to flow with things as they are.”
I believe true freedom will come when we stop pleasing ourselves with that thought.
What’s the harm in dying to our egos and stop following our opinions.
It is only when we completely let go of our opinions and only when we stop giving ourselves so much importance, will we learn to flow.
I appreciate your writing the article to spread the wisdom.
Looking forward to reading more of You!
Cheers!
Ankush
Gail Brenner says
Lovely to hear from you, Ankush!
There is no harm in dying to our egos, in fact, I recommend it! But I never tell people it’s something they should or need to do. My point in that sentence is to say that we have a choice – we can resist or surrender, we can say “no” to what is, or we can flow like water. It’s not for me to say what path anyone follows. In my experience, the fire for truth gets lit up within. And it’s pure grace when that happens.
I love that you’re a fiery truth lover!
Ankush Chauhan says
🙂 Yes Gail, I’m fiercly into it. Stay in touch!
Have a wonderful weekend!