āFind a place inside where thereās joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.ā
~Joseph Campbell
It seems all too common to me that we forget to turn toward joy. We tend to focus on whatās wrong, how bad weāre feeling, and the things that other people arenāt doing to meet our expectationsāand we forget to turn toward joy.
For some reason, itās easy to take joy for granted. Itās always here. If you look for it, you will always find a distinctive peace or aliveness at the heart of every moment.
But we miss it.
How We Miss Joy
Weāre busy worrying about everything under the sun that we canāt control anyway. And weāre stuck in our heads, thinking about our own troubles, and spending way too much energy trying to solve problems that canāt be solved by thinking about them.
I recently had a heartfelt conversation with someone who told me with great heaviness that she had been suffering a good part of her life. She knows sadnessā¦itās been a constant companion.
We talked about ways to address the painful feelings and how to be compassionate when things become rocky.
Then it dawned on meāwhat about joy? The difficulties had become a magnet for her attention and had congealed into a disappointing life story. But there must be joy somewhere.
Then I learned about the joy she experiences seeing her children grow up and the charge she feels when her garden is flourishing.
And we looked at even the times of sadness to see if something else was present. Shedding the story of what happened and the history of neglect, we discovered a freshness right here that isnāt touched by any of that.
Itās in the vibrancy of the breath and the deep sense of being at peace thatās here once the mind stops diverting your attention. Itās the knowing that no matter what events are happening, thereās presence and stillness and an unfathomable sense of acceptance.
How to Turn Toward Joy
I have spent thousands of moments studying my experience. And Iāve found that, without exception, itās always possible to turn toward joy. I donāt necessarily find it in the situations that occur. Itās not in my memories, because if I experience joy from a memory, Iām experiencing it right now. And I definitely donāt find it in my thoughts.
So where to turn to find joy?
- First relax your attention away from any thoughtsāand I mean all of themāand focus on the breath as it moves in and out. Already youāll notice a peaceful shift.
- Then relax away from the breath and expand into presence.
Thereās a sweetness here that you might not have ever noticed before.
Youāre not lost in any stories. Youāre not concerned with how you look or worried about things you have to do. Although you may feel energy in your body, it doesnāt hold any significance.
Now youāre primed for joy, the joy that bubbles up naturally, the soft smile of just being. The mind-blowing amazement that anything exists that makes you dissolve into gratitude.
And while youāre at it, donāt just turn toward joy. Turn toward peaceā¦happinessā¦expansionā¦tendernessā¦and appreciation.
The Sacred Choice
You can certainly feed your personal suffering and embellish on the worrisome thoughts that grab your attention. Maybe that is what you are most familiar with.
But you have a choice. And that choice is to turn toward joy. Right now in this moment and every moment.
What do you choose?
Any comments? What happens when you turn toward joy? Iād love to hearā¦
PS:Ā Please check out downloadableĀ Guided Meditations for Wholeness, Clarity, and Freedom. All 3 volumes are now at a low introductory price for a few more days.Ā I think you’ll find them really helpful!
Tristan says
She could’ve felt what a joy it is talking to you! You have such a beautiful heart, Gail, towards everyone.
Gail Brenner says
That’s very sweet to hear, Tristan. Thank you….
Tristan says
I seem to be joyful almost all the time these days. But there were 6 very tough years before this, and your writing and a precious few other people were such a heartening light during that time. I don’t like to heroize and, as you know, I’m not afraid to critique; it just became more and more obvious, also in your every response to those writing in, that you are a truly awesome and brilliant incarnation š Hope you succeed in bringing out the joy everywhere!
Andrea says
Thank you for this reminder…I also have learned that joy is available in any moment despite or in addition to whatever pain/upset/hurt I am experiencing. When I remember to reach for it it changes everything.
Gail Brenner says
So clear and powerful, Andrea!!
Terry says
Thank you! Light and love always.
Gail Brenner says
Love to you, Terry….
Malcolm Cragg says
Hi Gail,turning towards joy makes so much sense,why don”t we do it more?
I’m going to remember this wise choice,thank you,
Love Malcolm.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Malcolm,
Our minds are so conditioned to go to the negative. It’s actually biological, as our bodies are primed to be on alert to any threats to our survival.
But with our more sophisticated brain power, we get to choose. There aren’t nearly as many threats as our primitive brain tells us. So we get to turn toward joy!
Love to you….
Steve Szubert says
I find that turning towards joy is the most effective first step towards solving worrisome problems and taking away the pain they bring. To paraphrase Einstein, we can’t solve our problems from the same state of mind in which they arose. Turning towards joy puts us on the right track.
Gail Brenner says
I totally agree, Steve! Loving the resonance with people who know this truth….
Ann Haney says
Years ago as I myself was looking at thought patterns and attempting to find more peace in my life, I had a realization that being truly appreciative (a deeper wisdom) of whatever was happening in my life led me to feel gratitude which ultimately led me to joy. Thank you so much for the reminder that we always have a choice in where we put our focus.
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful insight, Ann!
Timothy Colman says
Yeats on joy:
“Let us go forth, the tellers of tales, and seize whatever prey the heart long for, and have no fear. Everything exists, everything is true, and the earth is only a little dust under our feet.ā
Still mailing you some artwork. Sorry for the delay. This choosing joy is a good one. Thank you for the gift of words.
Gail Brenner says
And thank you, Timothy, for offering Keats’ words on joy!
Tristan says
Yeats, said he! — not “Keats”, that don’t even rhyme š tho reminds of the latter’s “A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever” http://www.online-literature.com/keats/463/ Taking joy and fun in typos too…
Jeannette W says
Thank you Gail. I appreciate your wisdom….And have enjoyed your site.
I find that I was alone a lot to feel peace….The next phase for me is to find like minded people to share this with. So thank you
Gail Brenner says
Yes! And to know that this peace is with you whether you’re alone or not. It is you, so it can’t not be here!