“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.”
Do you believe things about yourself that just aren’t true?
- Did someone tell you you’re nasty?
- Did you grow up believing that you can never be good enough?
I know my mother did her best, but she often called me selfish, and it took me a long time to shake that label.
We Learn to Believe False Labels
Sometimes we’re outwardly given a label that others think describes us. And sometimes we draw conclusions about ourselves from things that happened.
Mark was the functional child in a chaotic family. He took care of his younger brother and cleaned the house the best he could. But he drew a conclusion about these experiences, which is that he could never measure up to what was expected of him. He just couldn’t fix the problems in his family. And he carried this belief about himself, of not being good enough, into adulthood.
It’s amazing how strong the conditioned mind can be—it soaks up what it learns like a sponge. And, especially when we’re young, it often can’t discriminate between what is true and what is false.
So we end up not questioning the messages we receive and take them on as if they accurately describe us.
We Live What We Project
These false messages are distorted, untrue, and don’t serve our peace and well being. It’s like we’re hypnotized, living under their spell. And when we believe these messages, we project them onto the world.
We become magnets for rejection, judgment, and unkindness, which only confirms that the messages are true. Our whole lives feel off because everything stems from these false beliefs.
Here’s what I say: these false ideas about ourselves need to go. Why? Because they’re damaging, they hijack our happiness, and they’re just not true.
Somehow the innocence of who you are and the unlimited potential that is your birthright were lost. At your core, you are effortlessly at ease, unquestionably whole and good, and boundlessly open and loving…but these truths were masked.
Rejecting False Beliefs
How to start reclaiming yourself? Reject these false messages.
First, get clear on what they are. Sit down and make a list of the ways you’ve come to think about yourself that just aren’t true.
Then, every time you notice one of these beliefs, take a breath and throw it away. It might appear a million times a day, but each time, turn away from it. Say it isn’t true, and turn toward the light of peace, ease, and presence.
- Nasty? Not me.
- Inadequate? Not true about me.
- Unlikable? Into the trash.
Your mind will look for evidence to support the distorted, programmed label, but don’t even go into that story. Throw it all away because it doesn’t serve.
Now, here’s the exciting part: see what’s left.
When you throw away these false messages, you’re left with clear space filled with potential. How to be? What to do? How to feel in your body?
Let the intelligence of the moment show you the way. It will feel fresh and new, filled with new possibilities now that you’re out of the tunnel vision of the distorted label.
You’re moving forward free of the messages of the past.
As a person, you are a child of the universe no different from anyone else on earth. And in truth, you are infinite, universal consciousness itself. Don’t worry if you don’t believe it. Stop living by these old messages, and the rest will take care of itself.
You’ll discover your essential goodness and your pure, open, and loving heart.
What About You?
What false labels have you taken to be true? What beliefs are you going to throw away? Please share them in the comments, and if you’re reading by email, please click here to comment. I’d love to hear…
PS: I’m excited to tell you that I’m participating in a free live online retreat called Healing and Awakening moderated by Grace Bubeck. It takes place on December 12 and 13, and I am the last speaker. There is a lovely group of teachers scheduled, and I’m sure you’ll find it helpful. It’s free, and you can register here.