“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the last post, we talked about the beauty of an uncluttered mind. And from an uncluttered mind flows the most pleasurable action.
We know when we are doing the right thing. We don’t obsess, doubt, worry, or regret. Actions emanate from a clear mind and finish without adding to our inner turmoil. They are clean. They leave no residue. They are unambiguous, joyful, and efficient.
Sticky Actions
And then there are those actions that stick to us like glue. We have a sinking feeling before we do them, and their shadow stays with us no matter what we do. Like these, for example:
- Lying; not telling the whole truth
- Gossiping
- Criticizing
- Manipulating
- Addictive or compulsive behaviors
Behaviors such as these are confusing from the get-go. They come from fear, desire, and pressure. We strategize to avoid discomfort, to make ourselves look good, to get what we think we need, to do what we think we should.
They feed inner agitation. They leave us in an endless loop of trying to figure things out and clean up after ourselves. If we tell the truth, we know this is not a satisfying way to be.
Clean Actions
Clean actions arise from clarity and inner knowing. We respond appropriately to what is in front of us. We take in the details of the circumstances we find ourselves in, digest them through the heart, then trust what happens next.
This is how we stay close to the bone. We tune in to what is utterly true for us and have the courage to let it be our guide. We give ourselves permission to:
- Say no or say yes,
- Express love rather than resentment,
- Remember to give thanks,
- Do what we enjoy,
- Follow our deepest yearnings.
We unlock the shackles that keep us tied up in stressful endeavors, and we let ourselves live freely. We make the space to be efficient and creative.
Clean action happens in the moment as we surrender our personal dramas and allow the truth that appears. We can ask: What is right in this moment? And listen for the answer.
Earlier this week, I had planned to go to a yoga class. When the time came to walk out the door, I knew that I was pushing through the truth to follow my plan. I stopped at this decision point allowing the dilemma, then chose to stay home.
A mundane example, you might be thinking. On the surface, it is. But the truth appears only in the moment, and the choice we make is only the one in front of us. Even in the bigger decisions in life – to leave a job, to get married or have children – we know when we know.
Staying Quiet
Sometimes the clean action is no action. Rather than propelling ourselves forward or playing out our habits once again, if we really listen, we see that we are being asked to be still and keep quiet. There is so much wisdom in silence. And if it makes us uncomfortable, the discomfort is a gift that needs our loving attention.
Staying close to the bone means being conscious and aware. We are open, receptive, and allowing. We get out of the way and let each action be lived fully. With no trace and no residue, we are available to the next moment – clear, clean, alive.
Do you live close to the bone? What actions leave a residue that you want to pay more attention to? I’d love to hear…
Clean actions: That’s a really beautiful picture, for me, of integrity. Actions of integrity lead to feeling clean. Easier said than done, but when I can listen to that still, small voice, and live in alignment with my values, I am truly a happy person.
.-= Steve Borgman´s last blog ..Get Out of Jail NOW! =-.
I love that you mention integrity. This is what it is all about, and you say it beautifully: listening to the inner voice and living in alignment with our values. Then our actions are clean, clear, laser-like, with no yucky aftertaste.
I’m so glad this way of life brings you happiness!
Nice post! It provided me with another perspective of the consequences of my actions (or lack there of …procrastination) just by using the word “residue.” Funny how just using a different term can refresh or reawaken one to seeing truth …it resonated with me. Thank you! And I appreciate the reminder to give our “loving” attention to the discomfort of that residue! : – ) Merrie
Hi Merrie,
After I wrote this post, someone used the word “aftertaste.” Maybe this word resonates as well for some people. Residue or aftertaste, if the action is not completely clean, if something remains, can we be awake to that, too? Everything included…
Great, as always, to hear from you, Merrie.
This really made me think. I’m struck by my observation that as I grow older, I live closer and closer to the bone. It affects my relationships, my work, and my outlook on life and makes me very happy. It’s the very opposite of a viscious cycle. Do you think that it’s because of all the life lessons learned over the years?
.-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..Can We Talk About Breasts =-.
Hi Madeleine,
My experience as I get older is that I don’t care so much what people think. So my focus has moved from scanning my external environment – and the people in it – to my own inner intelligence, which I have come to trust without question. The key life lesson for me was to realize that the inner truth is absolute and my fears, expectations, and should’s are ultimately false.
I love that: living closer and closer to the bone. How close are we willing to get – in each moment?
Sometimes clean action is not taking action. I love this. We’re not put here to try to emulate mice on a treadmill, compulsively following every bright idea our mind puts forward.
No. we’re put here to come alive at last to the magnificent peace of our own being, which knows in the moment what to do — or what not to do — as you so aptly portay.Thanks again Gail.
.-= Christopher Foster´s last blog ..Is there any greater joy than finding a true friend =-.
Not doing – a radical idea to some, isn’t it, Chris? Sometimes the right course of action is to stop, breathe, wait, digest, and allow whatever comes next.
I love the resonance with you of the one truth.
Hey Gail,
I would say that any time I feel my emotions sink and I lose that wonderful sense of presence that comes from living congruently, THAT’S when I’m starting to “get dirty,” if you will. And sometimes- as I think is the case with your yoga class- it can be as much or more about WHEN and HOW as it it about WHAT.
Great post- superb writing, by the way.
A warm welcome to you, Travis. Glad you stopped by!
I love this: if our actions aren’t clean, they must be dirty. And for you the sign is your emotions sinking and losing presence. So important to know this so you can recognize these experiences when they appear.
And yes, thanks so much for clarifying: it’s not only about what action to do, but when and how to do it. Just because I didn’t want to go to that one yoga class, I haven’t given up yoga!
I look forward to getting to know you….
Love the concept of “staying close to the bone.” Right now, I am faced with the decision to basically stop fighting legally and accept a much lesser role in the lives of my children. They live in a different state with their father. The fight has been going on for years.
I know that to do this would allow me to quit investing money, time, and energy into a futile struggle. I could better invest it in positive things and in advancing my life. I also think it would be better for the kids to ultimately not be in the middle of so much contention even if it means a lot less of me.
Every time I make the decision to fight “one more” legal battle, it just feels wrong for me. However, I keep doing it out of fear, ego, guilt and attachment. It leaves all kinds of icky residue. Time to come clean and live close to the bone.
.-= Debbie Hampton´s last blog ..Incomplete Compassion =-.
What a fiery edge you describe, Debbie. I can understand both sides as you describe them – wanting to fight for time with your children and wanting to let go of what is futile.
Only you can know the answer, and it sounds like you do. I applaud you for your courage to live close to the bone, and I hold you and your family in a huge space of love for the challenges you all face.
Love to you…
Such good read here! 🙂
I remember when I started to be aware of how much I gossiped and decided to pay attention to this nasty lil habit. If I would start to speak about someone I could actually feel that sticky feeling or a heaviness. Once I brought it to light I find I can’t mindlessly engage anymore and better habits form…like examining what in me is pulled to speak about another. Interesting stuff!
.-= Clearly Composed´s last blog .. ABCs of Balanced Eating =-.
Bravo to you, Emma, for being willing to be aware and tell the truth to yourself. Gossip doesn’t feel good, and if we are willing to check in with ourselves, the signs are all there to tell us exactly what we need to know.
If we stop the mindless wheel-spinning, there is space for truth to shine. And you are a beautiful example of this…
Hi Gail,
I love this description of “clean” and “sticky” actions! My favorite line: “Actions emanate from a clear mind and finish without adding to our inner turmoil.” Thanks for this.
.-= Sandra Lee´s last blog ..The Web of Love and 5 Beautiful Bloggers =-.
Hi Sandra,
Sometimes it helps to have visuals, and I get them with “clean” and “sticky.” Sounds like these words resonate with you as well.
Take good care…
Gail –
I love your concept of clean actions. I think they come about when we act in line with our values. The stickiness comes from doing something that is out of whack with who we truly are. That’s the path to anger, guilt, resentment and regret. Very nice work and I love your site.
Phil
.-= Phil – Less Ordinary´s last blog ..Finding your Mojo =-.
Hi Phil,
Welcome to you! So glad you found your way here, and thank you for your kind words.
Your comment is so well said – we are either in line with our values or out of whack with who we truly are. And out of whack leads to some unpleasant and messy residue. Sounds like you have done quite a bit of cleaning up. Enjoy yourself!
A very inspiring post! It’s so important to pay attention to our values and the feelings we get when we engage in certain behaviors or activities. There are many times when I’m torn between two important priorities and I must decide which to partake in based on the consequences. Much of the time I need to examine the emotional state that will follow and how I will be impacted in the long run. I think the important thing I have learned is to really understand my values and base my decisions from here. Thanks!
Hi Joe,
I appreciate your comment. It sounds like when you make a decision from your values, you have a more positive emotional state and less residue in the long run. Values are what’s important to us or what is true for us. And what better place for action to come from.
This is a learning process, though, isn’t it? When we choose based on needs, fears, etc., we feel the consequences, and eventually have the courage to try another way.
Thanks so much for adding to the discussion.
Hi Gail! I love your clean actions approach because it matches my right speech, right actions, and right thoughts approach. For me, right speech is often no speech (or staying quiet, as you say) if I follow the guidelines: is it true? is it kind? and is it necessary? It always amazes me how it’s often not necessary to say anything.
Thanks for this beautiful post. Loving blesssing!
.-= Andrea – britetalk´s last blog ..Zero Limits- The Hawaiian System for Peace =-.
Hi Andrea,
Clean actions definitely include clean speech and clean thoughts, and I appreciate your mentioning these. And sometimes it is best to not think, say, or do anything. Ah, silence….
Blessings to you…
I love your yoga example. How many times I’ve gone to the ocean to run, and realized i wasn’ t there to run at all, but just to “be there”. Absolute perfection is in every tiny moment, and when we’re open, we seem to find ourselves “close to the bone” effortlessly.
Hi Rusty,
A warm welcome to you! So glad that you stopped by and left a comment.
I’m happy for you that you abandoned your plan and saw why you were really at the ocean. This is so beautifully said: “Absolute perfection is in every tiny moment, and when we’re open, we seem to find ourselves “close to the bone” effortlessly.” Thank you for this clarity.
Love to you…
Gail: Yet another great post. I really like this idea of clean actions. What you said is so true … there really is so much wisdom in silence and we can find all the answers and guidance we ever needed. As always, thanks for the pointer in the right direction and to finding our own answers and truth. Beautiful post Gail.
.-= Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..The Best Question to Ask to Put Everything Into Perspective =-.
Hi Sibyl,
I love that you mentioned finding our own answers. No one else has the answers for us. When we tap into the unlimited expansion that is our true nature, all that we need to know is available to us. What does it take? Be still and listen.
I have an action that I need to take… yet haven’t. Not sure why. I know I’ll need to take this action and yet… haven’t. Meanwhile with every day of inaction the pressure builds. Almost as if I can feel the actions behind this one, piling up against the bottleneck. I like your “clean action” thought… it’s time to get rid of the logjam!
.-= Chris´s last undefined ..Response cached until Sun 31 @ 14:48 GMT (Refreshes in 54 Minutes) =-.
Welcome, Chris! Sounds like this post was the perfect one for you to read right now.
Maybe the fact that you haven’t taken the action yet means that the time isn’t right. If you welcome in the feeling of hesitation without trying to change anything, what do you discover? Instead of saying, “I should do it, yet I’m not,” can you be with what is here in your experience? Then, there is space for the true response to appear.
I’d love to know what you discover, if you feel like sharing. I wish you well…
Hi Gail,
I love your idea of staying “close to the bone” – and how this can even show up in daily, mundane actions. We always know what’s best for us!
Just last night I picked up a yummy Asian take-out dinner for my hubby and me. When it came time to sit down in front of the fire to eat – I can’t say why, but I simply didn’t want my meal. Strange! It doesn’t matter why, but I know that in that moment it was not what my body wanted or needed.
So I ended up having cereal instead! I felt so proud of myself for listening to my body rather than having the meal just because it’s what was ‘planned.’ This was just one small way for me to continue to pay attention to that internal knowing that we all have. When I pay attention to that message/nudge, I always feel happier. 🙂
.-= Following Your Joy´s last blog ..Setting Intention With Bob Marley =-.
This is such a great example, Joy. Yes, these choices might seem mundane, but they are huge. You honored your inner voice. Why did it tell you not to eat Asian take-out? Who knows. But you stayed aligned by staying with what was true for you.
If choosing truth seems to overwhelming in the beginning, it is wise to start with these situations where the stakes aren’t so high. Cereal for dinner? Why not?
Thanks so much for sharing this story…