“The more evolved you become, the more compassionate you become, the more you show loving kindness to everything, to the mineral kingdom, to the vegetable kingdom, to the animal kingdom, and to the human kingdom. You show total compassion, loving kindness. You become an embodiment of love simply because everything is you.”
~ Robert Adams
There’s one thing I’ve noticed recently along the spiritual path: there seems to be no end to our capacity for compassion.
How do I know that? I keep finding the secret ways I still judge myself and others when patterns get played out or emotions take over. And as I look deeply into each one, every time I see the invitation for softening, acceptance, and as Byron Katie says, loving what is.
I can always find the capacity for compassion.
As I look deeply, I sometimes discover a subtle rejection of experiences that arise because they don’t meet my expectation of what I think should be happening.
I shouldn’t feel confused or bored. My friend shouldn’t be so upset because she should know by now that her difficult family members will never change. Another friend should stop recycling a distressing story that causes him to suffer.
Even though it’s painful—and surprising—to become aware of these resistances, I love discovering them. Each discovery is a little awakening, coming out of the fog of robotic, unconscious, divisive thinking and into the light of infinite possibility.
And in this light, over and over, I find limitless compassion.
As much as the fear-driven mind tries to avoid and fragment, it can always be met with the willingness to be intimate with what is.
And that’s how everything serves—and I mean everything. Every moment offers a unique arising of the human experience. We can react with resistance and story-telling—or open with curiosity.
We can swim in the familiar pain of fear and lack—or meet it all with the deepest acceptance and celebration.
In these times, it’s easy to get lost in the sorrows of the world. There is plenty of suffering of all kinds, and our hearts break in response to it.
But you can always bring light into your corner of the totality—right here, right now. And that changes everything.
Take a courageous moment to reflect:
- What feelings have you been avoiding—or rationalizing to yourself?
- How are your stories of judgment and blame dividing you from others?
- What “should’s” are blocking your peace and happiness?
If you’re like me, you’ll find many answers to these questions. What would it take to soften in these places of resistance?
Love is always here as the essential nature of reality. Although we may feel stuck and separate, there’s another way: the ongoing miraculous discovery of limitless compassion…
Maureen says
I do love the opening quote by Robert Adams. It reminds me that compassion is not a weakness; not a diversion from suffering but an answer to it. “We can swim in the familiar pain of fear and lack-or meet it with the deepest acceptance and celebration.” Ok, I can choose to accept that my husband is going to be selfish and thoughtless on occasion and choose to not allow it to derail my moment, day, month or year. The reverse is true as well- accept that my own selfishness will rear its ugly head and impact him. The pull of “shoulds” is strong. He should respect me, he should be kind. The stories and expectations swirl like dervishes in my head. Stuckness and separateness ensue…the challenge is ongoing. Today the grasp of thought is tenacious. ???? All I can do is breathe. Thank you for your words, reminders and guidance Gail.
Gail Brenner says
Yes, and have compassion for whatever you are experiencing. Then when the time is right, look: where is that compassion coming from? Not from the stuckness, but from some “place” greater – and unstuck. Maybe you have the idea that relationships should always be rosy? Waves rise up then subside – with no expectation of perfection in the human life.
Susan says
Thank you Gail for this writing. My mind was filled with thoughts of disappointment towards myself today,and I wasn’t able or willing to inquire until this evening. It seems I am still resistant to giving myself the compassion I give to others. Finally I was able to do so and it felt so kind. I so appreciate you and your offerings.
Gail Brenner says
So good to hear, Susan. This speaks to your fire – to notice this disappointment, then explore it later. In your conditioning, you might be resistant to self-compassion, but when you’re more aware, you realize that self-compassion is so available! This is a beautiful practice that will land deeply in you….
Armen Shirvanian says
Hi Gail.
I like the healing component in all your material. To understand ourselves and any heavy elements is to understand that we can respond to them with calm warmth.
We have to be okay with what is, as you mention here, because it is the world that we live in and traverse through. There is no room for us to look at it as something that is continually off.
Everything does serve us in some form. Looked at in that perspective, we can find each serving entity as it is, and it turns out there are none of the alternatives. We find what each piece of the puzzle brings to us.
Understanding and compassion for others is the gift we have.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Armen!
So beautiful to hear this wisdom coming from you! Yes to all of it!
xo
Gail