“When personal identification vanishes, all that then remains is a sense of presence without the person, which gets translated into a feeling of life as total freedom.”
~Ramesh Balsekar
Did you ever notice how much we think about ourselves?
Track your thinking for even a few minutes, and you’ll probably notice a constant flow of self-focused thoughts.
- My opinion is…
- This is what I think should happen.
- This is what I want to happen.
- I want…
- I need….
- I don’t want…
- I don’t have…
- I’m comfortable.
- I’m not comfortable.
- I’m nervous, scared, angry, or sad.
- I’m inadequate and unlovable.
The common thread in all these thoughts is me, me, and me. We’re the star of our own story with our ideas about ourselves shining in neon lights.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but if this self-focused thinking is not serving your happiness, it deserves your exploration.
I was once in a yoga class, and the instructor started with this brilliant suggestion, “Don’t think about yourself for a while.” Why is this a helpful suggestion? Because thinking about ourselves is usually stressful.
Self-focused thinking separates the world into me and others, good and bad. It constantly reminds us of what is missing or not okay. And it leaves us living under a cloud of negativity.
Check it out in your own experience. What do you think when you think about yourself? How do you feel? Do these thoughts bring you ease and joy.
Then try not thinking about yourself for a while and see what happens.
I’ll share a little secret with you. You don’t need to think about yourself much at all to function well in life.
You don’t need the judgments, worries, and analysis to know what to do and do it well.
In fact, without these “me” thoughts taking up your mental space, you’re quiet, aware, and available to what the moment is offering you. There’s room for wonder and insight, ease and creativity.
You move from problems and drama to openness and allowing.
And you know what else? You can’t take things personally because there’s no limiting “me” thought endlessly finding fault with what people say and do.
Notice how your self-focused thoughts affect you. Then lose interest in them. Know that they’re taking you down a road you don’t want to go, and leave them be.
Then expand into the spaciousness of your present moment experience. Without the story of me, what’s revealed? Effortless ease and a heart overflowing.
SARAH CHAN says
It felt so good to read this, Dr. Gail! Your articles/blogs always feel so good. Thanks for channeling truth our way at the perfect times!
Sunniva says
Thank you so much Gail, I love your wisdom, love Sunniva
Michelle Michelle says
Ms Michelle in Queensland Australia
You are part of my flow through out the day re programming and freshing visions
Scattered thinking like a Detective on the job to solve a case
Now its time to be me again
Who am l now
A greater wiser kind generous lovely human
Armen Shirvanian says
This is a great way to feel relaxed as we move through the day. The focus on elsewhere leaves us no room to have any stuck patterns.
“You don’t need to think about yourself much at all to function well in life.” We keep the flow going, regardless of if we put that pinpoint focus on how we are being perceived, or what we are about.
At some point early in our life, we didn’t have such a “me” built up, and we did a lot of things quickly. You remind us of the opportunity to be like that, Gail. Thanks again.