Greetings and a warm welcome to you. I’m so glad you stopped by!
You desperately want peace and happiness in your life, but can’t seem to find it.
You’ve been feeling stressed, sad, stuck, and overwhelmed maybe for a very long time.
You’re fed up and just want to feel better! You’ve tried everything—self-help books, therapy, workshops, and retreats. Shouldn’t you feel better by now with all this inner work you’re doing?
Yet you still worry. You still react in the same way to the same people and situations. You’re still dealing with your past or resenting your childhood.
You hear and read about spiritual awakening, and you think it will solve all your problems. But you keep getting stuck, over and over. You’re hard on yourself with an inner critic that bullies you. You’re caught in thoughts that make you anxious—and they won’t stop. You keep making decisions that don’t make you happy.
It feels like you’ll never find your way out of the pain to the peace and joy you long for.
You just know there’s something more.
And there is…
You Can Discover Happiness
How do I know? I’ve been there.
I’m a psychologist who helps people desperately wanting to be happy. They know that freedom from deep-rooted repetitive patterns is possible—they just don’t know how to find their way there.
I guide them with the skills and insights they need to finally get unstuck so they can move forward in their lives feeling more confident, calm, and connected than they’ve ever felt.
My Fire for Freedom
My interest in suffering and the end of suffering is long standing. Like you, I just wanted to be happy. I put together a functional life of work and friends, but I was continually plagued by anxiety, confusion, and relationship troubles.
For years I worked with lovely, well-intentioned therapists who tried to help me feel better about myself and my past, but very little changed in the way I felt or the choices I made in my life. I even became a clinical psychologist, wanting to study happiness and offer a healing space for others, and still I suffered.
Just feeling better wasn’t enough for me. When I read in ancient spiritual teachings that enduring peace was possible, I believed it at the core of my being. I didn’t know how to find this peace, but something in me said, “Yes!” I was absolutely on fire to know it in my own experience.
My journey left no stone unturned. Early on, I spent most of a 10-day silent meditation retreat in tears that felt like I was crying out lifetimes of sadness and grief. I remember standing in the middle of the vast high desert in southern California where it seemed like lifetimes of ancient resentments were being released from my body and mind and carried away by the wind.
I returned to my everyday life feeling lighter and so much more relaxed, but I knew my journey wasn’t finished. Just being aware of the rising and passing away of thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the body, what we call mindfulness, still left me with burning questions about how to be free of suffering.
In my search, I came across spiritual teachings about the nature of happiness. And I made some life-changing discoveries.
Studying How to be Peaceful and Happy
These teachings directed me to an intense study of my thoughts and feelings. Looking inward, I found tendencies to judge others, which came from my own inner sense of feeling inadequate. And I saw that I was afraid to let go of control, fearful of losing my hard-won sense of independence.
The more I looked into my experience, with the sincere willingness to tell the truth, the more fear became apparent. So much fear had gone unnoticed!
There was a time when I would stop whenever I felt fear, close my eyes, and simply feel it. Many times during the day, I sat on my couch feeling physical tension, contracted chest and jaw muscles, and shallow breathing. As I made the space for these sensations to be, without spinning in thought or wanting to change them, sometimes they would lessen, and sometimes not. But it didn’t matter—it was relaxing to finally give up the fight and just be.
It wasn’t immediate, but over time, I realized I felt less stressed. I didn’t worry so much about making the right decision or trying to figure everything out. I was lighter, happier, and more loving toward others. One morning I woke up and, much to my surprise, I realized that I hadn’t been anxious for quite some time.
The Power of Understanding How Your Mind Works
I was feeling better, but I still wasn’t completely at peace. Looking deeper, I discovered that my thoughts themselves are not the problem. Why? If you study a thought, you’ll see that it’s merely a temporary appearance of words. But if you pay attention to it and repeat it in your mind, it comes to life with meaning and substance. And this is the beginning of a great deal of trouble.
I noticed that just about any time I was lost in thought, I was thinking negative ideas about myself, other people, situations, the past, or the future. When I was gripped by these thoughts, I felt anxious and unhappy, and my body was filled with tension.
One sunny day, I was lying outside on a lounge chair enjoying the peace and quiet. It came to me to experiment with thought and no thought. Every time I started thinking about something, I felt my body contract. And when I withdrew my attention from the thought to simply be present, I relaxed. I went back and forth a few times, and it became so apparent to me that engaging with thoughts created agitation and letting them go brought peace.
Taking this insight into my daily life, the more I became disinterested in thoughts—any thoughts—the happier I was. If I didn’t give thoughts power by thinking about them and believing their content, I wasn’t listening to their limitations, criticisms, worries, and pronouncements about what other people should say or do. And I felt way more connected to everyone and everything.
Experiencing Peace Now
Just like a snake sheds its skin, I shed limiting, personal identities and beliefs that were behind my fears. And the shedding revealed wide-open space, clarity about people and situations, a flow of creativity, and a quiet, still presence beyond all thoughts.
There are no problems here—no inadequate me, no fear, no painful past, and no self-doubt. This restful space is what’s always here and available, at the core of every moment, and it’s discovered once the attachment to thinking dissolves.
Ultimately, the structure of my personal self collapsed. I realized there had been an entity that I called “me” that seemed to be located as a knot in my forehead. When that contraction dissolved, there was only vast, alive space, like my head had blown open. I perceived no more barrier between me and anything else.
Around that time, I was having a conversation with a friend, and what happened was only speaking, hearing, seeing, smiling. Yes, there was the semblance of two people at a kitchen counter, but the separate forms were barely noticed, leaving the experience of pure intimacy and what I could only call love.
What a relief to realize that I didn’t have to get rid of anything! I had put so much effort into quieting thoughts and eliminating painful emotions. But who was doing all this efforting? Being aware simply is and has no resistance to anything that appears. The experience of peace is indescribable. It’s simply the outpouring of life in its natural state, unhindered by fears, needs, desires, and identifications.
I truly found peace and happiness right here available in any moment. Living this discovery is a continual unfolding. Conditioned patterns arise, emotions appear, the events of life happen, and all is welcomed in the spacious field of being present. I trust life to bring me just what is needed to allow this infinite opening again and again.
And now I live a normal life. But what is ordinary on the surface is also extraordinary. The deepest peace…a heart overflowing…complete acceptance of things as they are…clear seeing that simplifies choices…unwavering willingness to not move when things get hard. It’s love in motion.
Resources for You
There are many resources here for your inspiration, including hundreds of articles, helpful videos, and guided meditations. I love supporting you on your journey. For information about working with me privately, please click here.