“When all the false self-identifications are thrown away, what remains is all-embracing love.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj
I once sat with a friend and watched with deep respect and a full heart as she realized how a pattern from her childhood had been holding her back.
She became fully aware of the inner critical voice that had plagued her for decades and saw clearly how this voice was inserted into her thoughts by her childhood experiences.
- Did she want this voice to be in charge? No.
- Did she believe what it said? Not once she became aware of what it was telling her.
- Was she tired of the way it diminished her and sapped her zest for life? Yes!
Right then and there, she decided to cut the cord to her past.
She chose to stop being a victim to the inner critic with its familiar put-downs that kept her stuck. instead, she took the path of not knowing. She happily stepped into herselfā¦fresh and new.
Patterns from Our Childhood
If you examine any recurring emotion or thought pattern that derails your happiness, you will probably be able to trace it back to your childhood.
- A tendency to feel alone and abandoned comes from not getting enough loving attention as a child.
- A tendency to be hyper-responsible about everything comes from being raised in a chaotic home.
- A pattern of not trusting others comes from a lack of emotional or physical safety in childhood.
Patterns like these are conditioned, having developed as a way to cope with challenging circumstances. They feel like they define us, but they are actually false stories weāve come to believe about ourselves.
Whatās amazing is that there is another possibilityā¦freedom in your life as it is right now. With love, care, and focused attention, we can shed these conditioned patterns so our natural, unconditioned, shining self is revealed.Ā Weāre finally free to feel good about ourselves.
Finding Freedom
There’s no substitute for being conscious in our lives, and thatās what it takes for our patterns to soften their hold on us.
Turn your attention inward so you can know with great precision how your patterns show up. When you are caught in them,
- How do you feel?
- What thoughts have taken over?
- What triggers them?
Know that these limiting patterns donāt in any way accurately define the truth of who you are.
This deeply held programming from our past grabs tightly, so be patient with the process to loosen its grip. Notice the patterns over and over, bow to them from your heart for their intention to help you, then step aside into freedom.
Eventually the insight dawns that the pull to leave your conditioning is stronger than the fear not to. This is truth illuminated, the golden moment that sets you free.
Every time the pattern appears, feel it with understanding and love. Then stand in liberation from itāunburdened, fully open, and unapologetically alive.