āIf you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.ā
~Lao Tzu
āI feel like a loser.ā These were the words of a friend of mine, as we sat over coffee, and it just didnāt compute. Before me was a lovely woman with the kindest heart.
As I listened to her story, I became aware of the impressive power that comes with believing our thoughts.
Every time she showed excitement or clarity, in a split second these thoughts derailed her. āI canātā¦ā āIt wonāt workā¦ā No wonder she felt like a loser. Her thoughts were constantly pulling her into limitations that she couldnāt find her way out of.
These beliefs telling us weāre inadequate and flawed are painful. Somehow they end up inhabiting our minds, living there for decades, stealing our happiness, creativity, and well being.
These thoughts are so familiar that we automatically believe them without questioning them. Then they unknowingly become our living reality, influencing how we show up in our relationships, our choices, and our ideas about whatās possible in our lives.
If you want to continue living the painful belief of your personal inadequacy, then read no further. But if you want to live in the truth of who you are, if youāre tired of feeling the weight of not living fully and freely, then bring your attention inward to your own direct experience.
Thatās the beginning of the work that sets you free.
Inquire into Your Thoughts
The simple act of inquiring into thoughts is revolutionary because it invites you to reflect on well-worn assumptions and habits of mind.
Bring awareness to thought patterns you take for granted, and question if they accurately describe you. Are you really damaged, insufficient, or incapable? Or are these old labels that no longer apply?
Then go deeper to feel into the impact of these thoughts. How do they make you feel? Do they bring you peace and happiness? Notice the sense of lack and how it propels you to relate to others.
Be aware of how believing these thoughts shrinks you into a limited spaceā¦and begin to consider whatās possible outside this space. Who are you if youāre free of these thoughts that define you? What is most alive in you that wants to be expressed?
Turn Toward Your Feelings
Defining yourself as inadequate is also experienced as feelings in your body. What emotions are presentāfear, rage, disappointment, grief? Go beyond the stories to recognize and welcome the sensations and energies that arise in your body.
Breathe with how the feeling lives in your body.ā¦letting go of the story of not being good enough and being only with sensations. Have this be a lifestyle so the body has time and space to unwind.
Then practice letting it all be. Relax your attention away from sensations and into the openness in which these sensations arise. Here, everything is held exactly as it is with no resistance. Feel the liberation in all parts of your being.
Experiment with Living Free from Inadequacy
Now that youāre open beyond the story of inadequacy and youāre kind toward your feelings, you get to experiment with living from your essential wholeness.
Stand in your brilliance full of possibility. The thoughts may come, but you know they donāt define you. The feelings may appear, but you meet them lovingly so theyāre not in charge.
What are you moved to do? How is it to show up unencumbered and freeā¦in your fullness? How would things change for you?
Expand beyond habitual thoughts. Breathe new space into your body. Then see how life wants you to shine.