“Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?”
~Maurice Freehill
There was a time when I was afraid to be still. I lived in my head, trying to analyze, organize, strategize, and figure everything out. Really, all I wanted was to be happy, and somehow my attempts kept missing the mark.
Then I learned about the power of stillness. I learned to refrain from moving my attention anywhere. I learned to stop creating a life through my mind and instead to let things be. I went from noise to silence, from doing to being.
It was a revolution that changed everything forever.
Resting in Stillness Is Meditation
When you rest in stillness, you notice the momentum of your habits and urges, but you don’t act on them. You actually experience the moment – the feel of the wind on your skin, subtle sounds you never noticed before. You can tell what your body wants and needs. You are here, alive, receptive.
It’s both ordinary and extraordinary at the same time.
The exploration of stillness is commonly called meditation. All it takes is a few minutes, and you will begin to see the benefits and potential. If you are interested, simply sit down, close your eyes, and be. Don’t try to stop your thoughts or change anything. Just be the awareness that everything arises in.
Even to suggest that you notice is too strong. Expend no effort at all. Simply be aware, which you are already anyway, and let things unfold. Thoughts and physical sensations appear, feelings arise…just allow everything without getting in the way.
That’s all there is to it. Do this period of non-doing for a few minutes or longer. Do it even when what appears is painful or challenging. Relaxing into stillness is so loving because you are letting go of the need to fight or control your experience. And if you feel the urge to fight or control, simply let that be also.
See how it works? There is always a path to peace. Allow everything, effortlessly, and resistance ends.
The Benefits Flow Everywhere
The secret power of the practice of meditation is that it begins to seep into your daily existence. Your body learns how to stay relaxed, even when things are hard. You begin to say, “Oh, this” rather than struggling or defending.
I was trying to exit a parking lot yesterday, and the line stopped moving for a long time. There must have been 12 cars stuck trying to get out, eventually with horns blaring. I felt the agitation of the other drivers like it was mine. It was so clear that I had a choice, and I chose peace. It was barely a ripple in my evening.
Returning to stillness again and again is the key to unlocking the prison door. You might feel like you’re trapped by the ways you react in the course of your daily life. It may seem impossible to sustain peace.
Allowing your attention to rest in silence lets you see these reactions with objectivity, and what becomes apparent is their stressful and unfulfilling nature. It becomes easier and easier to choose sanity and let these reactions fall away.
Relaxing into stillness creates the space for deep listening. It invites you to hear the truth that is spoken to you—the voice of insight and clarity that is normally muffled by inner noise and external busyness. Confusion diminishes, and your path is laid clear.
Tapping into silence draws you deeply into yourself. You can let go of the effort to think yourself into being. In this quiet, timeless space, you can effortlessly be. No walls, no division, simply the pure essence of you – alive, loving, and completely at peace.
What keeps you from exploring silence? What happens when you do explore it? I’d love to hear…
Stan says
Beautiful! Stillness and meditation can solve so many of our problems. For sure!
Dagny says
The benefits are immense. I know without my daily stillness session , I feel frustrated and think too much. However the problem with me is despite knowing that meditation is one thing that has made me fearless, more kind .. I sometimes dont feel like doing it. You know my dear mind says ” Oh comeon, there is a huge world out there , y sit silently ” haha 😀
Gail Brenner says
A warm welcome to you, Dagny. Thank so much for coming by.
There is an art to meditation. I wouldn’t advocate doing it if you don’t enjoy it, but sometimes there is great benefit in sitting still, especially when you don’t want to. That is when all the resistances can be seen. So not wanting to sit could mean you are avoiding something or it could mean that your energy is taking you into activity in the world. What a wonderful sandbox to play in!
Clare says
The only thing that prevents me from meditating or exploring silence is me. I am actively practicing meditation, trying not to beat myself up or feeling like I’ve failed when my mind wanders, as I know it will. It isn’t always my mind either – it is general physical restlessness. I recognize this and continue, as I know I must, going back to the breath or the sound. The practice of going back to the breath, with loving kindness toward oneself, is equally important in the practice of meditation as the silence. There are so many benefits to meditation that the option of not doing it just doesn’t exist, at least not for me.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Clare,
You point out the realities of the practice of meditation. There is mental and physical agitation sometimes. You might feel like you’re doing it wrong.
The goal is not to stop the mind or have no thoughts. I still have tons of thoughts running through my mind at times. But just letting them be is the goal. And same with physical restlessness. Thanks for making the point about coming back to the breath with loving kindness. So essential.
I love that you see the benefits and stick with it through thick and thin.
David says
Hi Gail,
I like being still…..opens up a new dimension for me. Allows me a change of perspective. Thank you.
be good to yourself
David
Gail Brenner says
Yes, David. Being still is a new dimension for most of us – a part of ourselves we aren’t very acquainted with. Great to see that it offers a change of perspective. When we let ourselves stop and rest in presence, we can see things with fresh eyes.
Ken Wert says
This was wonderful Gail!
I’ve experienced stillness in the form of prayer, when I sometimes simply enjoy being in what I imagine to be God’s presence. Or when I wait for impressions and inspiration to flow. I sit (or kneel) and just be, aware of what thoughts come to mind or feelings well up inside me or what epiphanies take shape and form in my heart or mind or soul.
And you are right about the peace. When I’m more consistent at doing this, I feel more connected to others, in tune with the infinite, kinder, gentler, more forgiving and less judgmental.
Thanks, Gail, for the inspiration to be still.
Gail Brenner says
And thank you, Ken, for this beautiful description of the fruits of being still.
Galen Pearl says
What a timely post as this hectic holiday season is underway. The parking lot example is perfect. As a person who, like you, spent most of my early life in my head, I had to learn the value and also the techniques of stillness. So glad I did. And continue to do so. In fact, I’m headed to my Shambhala meditation class tonight.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Galen,
I love that you realize the value of stillness. It matters to all of us. In the totality of the all, humans can sometimes be a constellation of density and tightness. But with true intention, this density softens. There is space and transparency. And like the butterfly flapping its wings in China and affecting the weather thousands of miles away, one being realizing her true nature affects everyone. That you are less attached to your mind and living more from stillness, supports the return home for all beings.
Bonnie Perry says
Although I have explored different types of meditation, what helped me really grasp the experience of stillness was seeing that it was less about keeping my body image and mentations still and more about keeping the felt sense of my heart still, or content just as it is. This opened the gateway for the possibility of keeping the stillness alive throughout daily up and down experiences. I guess this heart sense is somewhat different for everyone, so it’s hard to describe, but we know it when we feel it. I guess its connected to our attention, as you say, learning to refrain from moving our attention anywhere. It definitely reveals a different experience of life, the same circumstances, but different experience.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Bonnie,
Sometimes it’s hard to speak about our direct experience because words fail to completely capture it. I would say that meditation is not about keeping anything still. “Keeping” implies effort, and in true meditation, there is simply openness and receptivity with no effort and no one who is making any effort. That said, when there is a momentum of thinking happening, it seems like it takes effort to learn to be still, and this is appropriate. Eventually, there is the realization that stillness(the felt sense of the heart) is home, and, from that place, even the most minute effort feels like too much.
Maybe you can investigate if there is any doing – or a doer. And if you let go of that, what do you realize?
Ajen says
Gail, the statement about you feeling the agitation of other drivers as if it was your own struck a chord with me. I, too, have experienced other people emotions. For me, I think that this happens when I have allowed myself to experience the world around me and yet I am not being mindful to protect my own energy by choosing what does or does not mingle with it. By the practice of forming a “bubble of silence” around me, I am finding many ways in I could exist (by responding, interacting, etc…) in my current environment.
Silence is good… and the beauty of being human is that we are able to create these bubbles of silence in the most audibly and physically noisy of environments.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Ajen,
Some people tend to absorb others’ emotions, and if this is the case the “bubble of silence” you describe can be useful, even essential.
There is another perspective as well. In the realization of our true nature as undivided, as the totality itself, nothing is personal (no separate self) and there is a great sensitivity to all energies. When the screen is blank, empty, or transparent, everything on it can be seen in high resolution. This may also require a “bubble of silence” for daily functioning in the world, but for a different reason.
I love your last sentence: “Silence is good… and the beauty of being human is that we are able to create these bubbles of silence in the most audibly and physically noisy of environments.”
Litter Patrol says
Great thoughts!
I’ve found that I really get a lot of the benefits of meditation when I’m doing some kind of mindless task. My wife and I started up a fun little project in our town picking up litter by bicycle. I can zone out for hours and at the same time get something good accomplished! Win win 🙂
Thanks again for a very encouraging thought provoking blog!
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, LP! So glad you stopped by and left a comment.
What you describe reminds me of the Zen phrase, “chop wood, carry water.” We are simply present with what we are doing as it is happening. A win-win for sure – the simple pleasure of the ordinary.
Jerry Stocking says
Just sitting hear reading your beautiful words, my inner world has quieted to a whisper.
I have been playing with attention for 30 years.
I believe you will greatly appreciate my article on a way to master attention. I call it
http://jerrystocking.com/blog/making-love-to-the-universe/
Gail Brenner says
I did appreciate your article, Jerry. Thanks for sharing it.
Playing with attention – I love that. And when we play we see what serves and what doesn’t. As I’m sure you know, attention fully in the now = quiet, stillness.
maryan says
WOW thank you soo much for sharing your wisdom. it truly touched my soul.
Gail Brenner says
You are so welcome, Maryan. Thanks so much for stopping by.
suraj says
hello i read your blog and i feels a little peace on my mind right now,wao wht a post…hey i m little bit confuse about other techaniques of meditation like buddhist meditation bcauz i had read a number of articles about meditation techaniques…but that meditation sounds so easy and i m excited about that…can u clear my above confussions?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Suraj,
I’m not sure what type of Buddhist meditation you are referring to. My suggestion is to follow your gut and try out the kind of meditation you feel drawn to. Start somewhere, and all will be revealed…
Kenyetta says
“Then I learned about the power of stillness. I learned to refrain from moving my attention anywhere. I learned to stop creating a life through my mind and instead to let things be.”
I am learning more each day about the power of stillness and letting things be. It beats running around trying to figure out what’s being hidden. Eventually all truth will be revealed.
Thank you.
Kenyetta Russell
Gail Brenner says
You’re on a beautiful path, Kenyetta! Running around trying to figure it all out takes so much effort – and doesn’t give us what we’re looking for. Stillness is healing….
An. Sibramanisn says
Well ,
Like little clarification.
You have used these two words at specific areas.
Silence and Stillness.
Both are one or two?
Thank you.
Annamalai manian
Gail Brenner says
Not one, not two, they dissolve into the formless…