“We become what we love. What we put first in our lives is what we receive from life.”
~Guy Finley
In case you haven’t noticed yet, the truth of who you are is intelligent, creative, and naturally fulfilled. This is your essence, your true nature, that is non-negotiable and undeniable.
You don’t have life – you are life. You don’t find peace – you are infinitely peaceful at the core.
But sometimes the clouds move in, and your inner glow seems to be hidden. You want to be happy, yet fear deters you. You long for an end to suffering, but you just don’t know how to go about it. You are desperate for your light to shine even though it seems very, very dim. (Light? What light?)
When we are perfectly aligned with life in its purest form, it unfolds effortlessly. But for most of us, effort is required for a time. It helps tremendously to know what you should focus on and how you should handle your reactions and troublesome habits.
And if you’re really serious about releasing your inner brilliance, you will make it a practice to apply these actions as often as possible during your daily life. This is what I have done for years, and it’s been a joy to know in my own experience that the clouds move on, and the light keeps getting brighter and brighter.
Familiarize yourself with these five actions, then, when the moment is right, engage with them. Put them into practice, notice the results, and prepare yourself to be surprised. For each one is a doorway to your limitless light.
1. Let go of any stories you are telling yourself.
We tell ourselves stories about the past and worry about what might happen in the future. Stories can be dramatic, scary, or sad. Some common ones are:
- I’m a victim.
- I’m no good.
- I can’t.
- I’m not worthy.
- I deserve…
- I should or shouldn’t….
No story serves the release of your inner brilliance. Stories categorize and define. They convince you that you are a fraction of who you really are. And they divert your attention from what is real, free, and alive in you.
Lose interest in all stories – yes, all of them. Shed the veils of thinking, and watch your brilliance take over.
2. Listen to the whisper voice of your natural self and let it guide you.
Once the roar of thinking dies down, there is the space for you to listen. Spend time being quiet. Just sit, and be infinitely open and available.
Guidance is always here. Your job is to listen and follow it.
Are you willing?
3. Don’t feed the drama of your emotions.
Emotions can easily get you side-tracked. Say, “No more.” See that emotions come and go like weather. Don’t worship at the altar of your feelings or let them direct your precious life.
Witness your emotions, but don’t get involved with them. They are not a reliable source of information or a signpost. Simply let them be, then the natural direction of your brilliance will unfold. Try it out, and see if this is true for you.
4. Follow what makes you happy.
Don’t be afraid of happiness, and don’t protect yourself from experiencing joy. Turn away from a need to please others or to live according to your should’s and expectations. Don’t be bound by pressures of any kind.
Now is your chance to be free. And now, and now. It’s very simple. If you let happiness guide you:
- What would you do?
- How would you relate to your stories and emotions?
- How do you want to show up in the moments of your life?
Align yourself with happiness, and your natural brilliance will overflow everywhere.
5. Be completely open in your mind and heart.
If you are closed and resistant, you are locking yourself into a very small room. Instead, cultivate a sense of curiosity about everything.
- Maybe you can be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine. (What is possible for you?)
- Maybe you can be non-reactive and peaceful. (How would that affect your inner world and your relationships?)
- Maybe what you identify as problems actually get solved when you relate to them differently. (What would you do with all the energy that is freed up?)
Be open to recognizing and questioning all assumptions. You will be well on the road to living as the infinite brilliance that you are.
It is true that you get out what you put in. Find the place inside you that can’t bear the suffering and confusion and troubled habits one moment longer. Practice these five actions continually.
Then step out of the way, and be your beautiful, shining self.
Do you practice these actions? What happens? Do you notice any obstacles to these practices? I’d love to hear…
Clare says
This post is so timely. I’ve been struggling a bit to make a decision about a personal matter, (and one that is not even really that important). I kept feeling like I was getting in my own way, so I sat down and did a Q & A in my journal to take an honest assessment and also to remove most of the emotional odds and ends that were clouding my judgment (numbers 2 and 3). In doing so, if I might add a couple of things to number 1: stop mind-reading, stop projecting into the future; you do not really know what the future will bring. I actually was able to make a decision and the result was something that had I had only considered in passing. However, when I became more open (number 5), I was able to truly assess what I wanted and follow through with that (numbers 4 and 5).
Gail Brenner says
This is beautiful, Clare! And thank you for the additions. Getting honest is essential. When we start telling the truth, the fog clears, and we can see things as they are. Be open, and stick to the facts – not the fears and projections about the future. Thanks so much for sharing this process!
Clare says
You are so very welcome!
I also read this the other day, from the next to last page of a Pema Chodron book:
“When you find yourself with these old, familiar feelings of anxiety because your world is falling apart and you’re not measuring up to your image of yourself and everybody is irritating you beyond words because no one is doing what you want and everyone is wrecking everything and you feel terrible about yourself and you don’t like anybody else and your whole life is fraught with emotional misery and confusion and conflict, at that point just remember that you are going through all this emotional upheaval because your coziness has just been, in some small or large way, addressed. Basically you do prefer life [and waking up] and warriorship to death.”
It reminded me to, above all, have a sense of humor about things.
Gail Brenner says
Yes, Clare! Sometimes it’s like that – all crashing down – in the name of truth.
Christopher Foster says
“Maybe you can be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine.” These words resonate for me in a deep place.
Being strongly inclined to a spiritual life I have in past times discounted material plenty. But now I’m ready for the delightful surprise of having enough money to do things I’d like to do (and scale down our debt:-)
Thank you for your blog. Keep on flourishing. I hope all goes very well for you Gail.
Gail Brenner says
It’s always a delight to see you over here, Chris. I love that you are including everything – spiritual grounding and material plenty. Why not?
I wish you all the best always. Much love to you…
Crys says
Maybe I CAN be peaceful and non-reactive, Yes, I think I can.
Thanks Gail
Gail Brenner says
I think you can, too, Crys. Peace and non-reactivity are always choices that can be made, as you are discovering.
Lori says
“Lose interest in all stories”. This speaks to me in such a unique way. I’ve been writing lately, trying to understand why things happened the way they did in the past. How I could retell the stories to make them understandable to me. Maybe it’s not possible to understand why these things happened, why others made the choices they did. Maybe it’s time to lose interest, and focus on moving forward. Thank you for sharing these insights on your blog.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for you comment, Lori. I agree with you. The “why” question, as I have found, is a diversion. We can endlessly ask why without really finding the answer. So letting go of why, leaves you perched to let go of all the stories from the past. Take responsibility for your life now. Choose happiness and sanity in this very moment.
You only carry the past around by keeping it alive in your thoughts. Live your brilliance now…
Lori says
Thank you for your comment, Gail. As I read it I can “see” the gremlins running around in my head on high alert! Saying, “but the ‘why’ is who you are! it’s what gives you purpose! you can’t lay down the ‘why’.” But I see freedom and peace on the other side of ‘why’ and I WANT THAT! Thank you, again.
Gail Brenner says
Lori,
This fierce dedication is what it takes. The “why” is mental activity, and the gremlins aren’t telling the truth. Is the “why” who you are, really? Does it give you a purpose that serves? You will see that this mental spinning breeds more…mental spinning. The choice is always yours… Enjoy yourself!
Bonnie Perry says
I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with my 11 month old grandson of late and I can see the natural evidence of all the points you list above. He is fully, radiantly alive without yet being weighed down by any story of himself. He will often sit inquisitively looking, just seemingly for the joy of it. I can see that contentment and appreciation of pure being is his core spirit even as displays of irritation, tiredness and frustration can roll through him. It is impossible for him to hide the love that pours through his eyes. He does a crawl/dance of happiness from room to room and meets new sights often with the breath of excitement, even when he has just passed it a moment ago.
I have found the place inside me that can’t stand anything less than freedom any longer and he has been a guiding light and my greatest teacher and reminder!
Gail Brenner says
What a lesson for all of us, Bonnie. The fresh eyes of a child tell the truth, unencumbered by years of conditioning. May we all rest in that purity. Thanks for bringing your teacher to all of us.
David says
5 Terrific pointers here Gail, thankyou
Duly shared with my cyber Universe
be good to yourself
David
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for the share, David. I appreciate it.
Noch Noch | be me. says
letting go of stories we tell ourselves – it’s akin to letting go our self doubt
Noch Noch
Gail Brenner says
Yes, definitely, Noch. Self-doubt is a story we tell ourselves, probably along with some physical sensations of fear. Dropping interest in the story sounds just right to me.
Sandra Pawula says
Gail,
This is such a radically different view of emotions, but one with which I am fully aligned. #4 is the one I wonder about as happiness is just another transitory emotion. Grasping after happiness can create as much suffering as grasping after any emotion. So how to find the balance to allow joy to bubble up without clinging to it!
Gail Brenner says
Hi Sandra,
Happiness is a tricky word. Yes, it can be a state as in pleasure or momentary enjoyment. But our essential nature, that which doesn’t change (not a state), is naturally happy, naturally content and at peace. When we are steeped in that, happiness just is, with no clinging or attachment. It’s not something separate from ourselves that we need to get or hold on to. But when we long for happiness that doesn’t seem to be here now, we are lost in thought about lack and missing what is actually here now.
The spiritual search is motivated by what we perceive ourselves to not have or be. The end of the search isn’t about attaining what we didn’t have before. Rather, it’s about seeing that we were overlooking what was here all along. This is what makes peace/happiness/being always available and possible. It can’t go away – it can only be overlooked.
Joy comes naturally, but when it is followed by fear or desire that is not seen, clinging starts. Once we are able to slow things down enough to see the habits of fear or desire, we can stay “here” and not move into these patterns. Then we can relish in the bubbles of joy!
As always, I’m happy to hear any further musings… Love to you…
The Vizier says
Hi Gail,
When it comes to uncovering our natural brilliance, the following points which you shared stand out most for me.
4. Follow what makes you happy
When I was younger I tried to follow the likes and dislikes of my friends. I wanted to fit in. But this didn’t really work out since I was denying my true self. In time, I learned to follow my heart and to be true to myself. There is simply no other way to live. When I am true to others, it is not natural and takes great effort to maintain. But when I am true to myself, it is natural and requires little effort. It is no surprise which path I chose.
5. Be completely open in your mind and heart
Once I am doing what I love, it pays to be fully open. Only by doing so can I absorb all the things that make me happy and unleash my natural brilliance.
Thank you for sharing this lovely article!
Irving the Vizier
Gail Brenner says
Beautiful, Irving. Like you, I have found it painful to not follow what is true for me. Trying to fit in, to not be rejected, to meet our own and others’ expectations. These are all reasons why we betray ourselves. But the naturalness that you speak of is so telling. It must be the way to go.
Love your sense of openness….
Galen Pearl says
I heard a sermon recently that spoke to #1. The preacher encouraged everyone to use the “delete” button when they caught themselves telling this negative stories. It was really pretty funny.
“I’m just ordinary.” DELETE! “I am a masterpiece by the creator of the universe!”
“I can’t do anything.” DELETE! “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!”
The sermon was in Christian terms, of course, but the idea is the same, I think.
Great tips, all of them.
Gail Brenner says
Yes, the same, Galen. Ultimately, no story serves. So wise to delete them all – then see what remains – freedom.
Nishi says
As amazing as ever. Found this just when I needed to hear it. Thank you, Gail. Much love and hugs 🙂
Gail Brenner says
What a delight to hear from you, Nishi! Love to you…
renah says
Life really teaches us a lot, but this article has revealed a lot to me beyond my eyes limit and has made me to develop a sense of seeing things in a different angle all thanks to this group I love love
Gail Brenner says
So glad, Renah!!
xoxo