“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.”
~William Blake
The desire for freedom from our personal suffering appears by grace. Who knows how we end up on the spiritual path?
We get tired of things being so-so, or worse. We know there must be another way. And we get intensely interested in the possibility of moving beyond our habits to know the deepest peace and to live it.
I am so moved by each of you reading this and your clear intention to be free. So maybe you have the same question that frequently enters my inbox and gets posted on my facebook page. It goes something like this:
- But I’m still attached…
- I do what you suggest, but it’s not working…
- The memories keep coming, and I’m still sad…
- How do I let go?
- I’m still suffering. How can I be free?
And here’s my answer: the solution lies in the moment. It’s only in this moment whenĀ you’re suffering, and only in this moment when you can find your way to peace.
Your Only Goal Is Peace Now
If think you’re going to get rid of any of your experiences, if you think your challenges will go away forever, think again. No matter how deeply you know that your essence is love and that you are one with everything,Ā in the course of ordinary life,Ā emotional reactions, stories, and distorted ways of seeing the world will arise. It happens to me all the time.
These experiences are conditioned, and you can’t control the fact that they appear.Ā But, in any moment, you can control what you do with them.
You can continue doing what you’ve always done that perpetuates your problems: trust your thoughts, feed them with your attention, think and talk about what’s wrong, give importance to your feelings, act out your conditioned tendencies.
Or you can take the path of truth and freedom. In any given moment:
- Welcome the fact that stories are presentābut don’t feed their content with your attention.
- Receive every feelingāand feel how it’s expressed in your body rather than getting caught in the drama.
- Feel the urges that pull you to engage in self-defeating behaviorsābut don’t act on them.
This is what’s so amazing. You can be at peace with your experience by welcoming it, but it doesn’t have to control you.
Every Time Is a Golden OpportunityāYour Moment
An opportunity is defined as a “lucky chance” or a “favorable circumstance.” Instead of being frustrated when you find yourself caught again in the grip of conditioned reactions, or thinking you’ve done it wrong or failed, take that moment as an opportunity.
It’s a lucky chance you’ve been given to find your way to peace, a favorable circumstance that invites you to return home to the truth of you that is always fresh, whole, and at ease.
It doesn’t matter how many times you get stuckāeach one is an opportunity to clear the veils and illuminate your true essence.
Next time and every time you find yourself entangled by problems, say, “Thank you” for the gift you’ve been offered. Then don’t touch the problem with your attention. Lose interest in itāit’s not serving you anyway, is it? Immediately, you’ll find yourself: innocent, undisturbed, and so incredibly alive. Every time.
What About You?
Are problems botheringĀ you? Can you take the opportunity in the moment to untangle the feelings and stories? I’d love to hear… And if you’re reading by email, please click here to comment.
Always in love,
Lor says
Thank you ..This post generated within me, a light of understanding and recognition.Thank you for the gift. It touched an inner power I needed to feel once again. I appreciate you.
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much, Lor! Much love to you…
Shailesh Salunke says
Hello,
I’m Shailesh from Mumbai,India. I don’t know how to put my problem or feeling in words, but I’ll try. For the past one year I know a girl, but never got the courage to ask her out. I always thought I wasn’t in her league, and never took the chance to express my feelings. This Valentine’s day someone else has asked her out, and she said yes. Now my problem is ā I can’t digest this fact or reality that I wasted opportunities. It’s too late, and I’m finding it hard to get over it. I’ve told all about this to my sister, she says that I need to get more “social” and that someone is definitely out there for me. But I hope you understand the feeling of not letting it go. I read the question ā how do I let go? *sigh* I’m trying to find the answer…Thanks for listening.
Gail Brenner says
A situation like this serves, Shailesh, when you learn from it. Then you can move forward in a new way and meet the world without limitation. The root of the word courage is coeur, which is French for heart. Listen to your heart and let it move you, no matter what your thoughts are telling you. That is true courage.
Crystal Jones says
Gail,
I absolutely loved this post and found it to be right on-time. I think we must always remember that challenges come to help us continue to shed the āfalse-selfā and allow us to fully enjoy our true essence. And there is no need to focus our energy on trying to make the āemotional reactions, stories, and distorted ways of seeing the world disappearā, because what we come to realize is that we canāt make them go away and if you make this your goal you will surely suffer unnecessarily. But when we look to each moment, as an opportunity to shed light on and question the mind-stories we can then begin to break free and not repeat the same self-defeating behaviors.
I used to be a big internet surfer reading everything from gossip stories to world news (and everything in-between) and I realized one day, that everything that I was taking in was either feeding my ego or feeding my spirit. I know it may sound crazy, but you would be surprised how many times we compare ourselves to other peopleās stories, either making ourselves feel superior, or even thinking of ways to improve the āfalse-selfā based off of what others have, look like, or are doing. So Iāve made a conscious choice to monitor what Iām allowing in one moment at a time.
Thanks again!
Crystal
Gail Brenner says
So much wisdom here, Crystal! I’m so glad to hear that you realize you can’t make thoughts go away. That is exactly the point of this post – each moment offers the opportunity to question the stories that appear, rather than trying to push them away.
Beautiful reminder about everything we take in either feeding ego or feeding spirit. When we’re awake to the moments of our lives, we can always make the fulfilling choice.
Vanessa says
Hi Gail,
I am new to your articles. I came across your website somehow and I was delighted to finally read what I’ve been wanting to find. Your articles are amazing because they get to the core of the human spirit and they help all those who are willing and ready to heal.
I am a young college student and over the past year have been shedding light on a painful loss I experienced when I was 15. Something about transitioning to college made my resistance to change re-appear. I fell into that same depression and anxiousness I had experienced as a teen, only this time it was extreme. Waking up everyday was a struggle. My family thought there was no reason for my behavior and that asking for professional help was not an option. I felt like I was in a dark hole and I had no idea how I would make it out. The memories and the fear just grew day by day and I thought I was alone. I was beginning to feel afraid of everything. I never gave up though and I think that’s what made all the difference. I took my own decision to go to counseling at school and I was blessed to get a counselor who practices and teaches the same things you do. Previous counselors never taught this valuable knowledge, they had only put a label of an anxiety disorder on me.
Now I am well on my way to living a present life and through trial and experience have learned to let go of expectations. I fall but I get back up time and time again. It has not been easy, that I can say, but it has been worth it because I get stronger and stronger everyday. The key is to accept everything as it is and be present with it. It’s as though your awareness is a light that melts away the resistance to whatever you’re feeling. This doesn’t happen over night though. Even when I feel strong, my mind begins to entangle in a story, only now, I let it be as it is and I think, as you mention, that makes all the difference. Hard experiences will come and go always, but how we hold ourselves in their presence makes all the difference. I have reached the point in my life where I can catch myself in a problem and be thankful for it because it is truly an opportunity to be present once more. It is all a practice. Had I not experienced so much pain I would not be writing these words.
Warm regards and many thanks,
Vanessa
Gail Brenner says
So beautiful, Vanessa, that you now see pain as an opportunity. Everything serves – everything. We only need to know that whatever is here can be a pathway to healing and awakening.
I especially appreciate your sentiment about life experiences: “Hard experiences will come and go always, but how we hold ourselves in their presence makes all the difference.” As you know, it’s not about waiting for life to be a garden of roses. It’s about how we meet what’s here.
I love how you were steadfast in your truth about what you needed, even though that wasn’t supported by others. That fire in you has served you well.
Much love to you…
Kitty says
I can’t thank you enough for the insight I received after reading this article. I’ve had a problem weighing me down for a long time and you helped me see that it really isn’t my problem. It’s a friends’ problem. It’s not up to my husband and me to meet her expectations. As someone who has always had the bad habit of overthinking an issue, you’ve helped me see that habit for what it truly is-a huge waste of my time. I have a very creative imagination that has not served me well in this instance. Thank you so much for helping me to see that I can turn my attention to something much more meaningful!
Gail Brenner says
I love this line, Kitty – that you have a very creative imagination that hasn’t served you well. Our minds can go every which way! If we put a lot of stock in the thoughts that appear, they will make us crazy (a technical, professional term). Great to hear that you have clarity and space for what’s important.
Holly Jobling says
Just a simple thank-you Gail for your blog / website. It is so incredibly helpful, inspiring, and full of such sense and truth and for me one of the best blogs of this kind – its a pleasure. I especially appreciated your articles on fear which were spot on. I am keenly anticipated your book! Keep it up and thanks! Oh one question: I signed up to your emails and updates a while back and don’t remember getting the 30 reflections for everyday joy – is something I can access? Xxx
Gail Brenner says
Lovely to meet you, Holly! I’m so glad you’ve found a home here. The 30 Reflections book is on its way to you. xx
John Mckinney says
This article resonated with me in that I follow my thoughts and feelings around
like a lost puppy looking for it’s mother. I give way too much importance to these things. For example: the feeling of fear unfolds and I generate a lot of thoughts that substantiate these fearful thoughts, thoughts of lack, unworthiness, failure, etc.
Upon reading this article I was wondering, how do I validate and honor these negative thoughts and feelings and continue to respond to a higher and more noble path at the same time?
Gail Brenner says
I love this question, John. See if you can put your focus on the higher and more noble path. The negative thoughts and feelings can be present. In fact, welcome them in, without resisting them. But don’t get swirled up in their content and in what they tell you to do or believe. See them just like clouds passing in the sky. The sky is your noble path, so plant your feet there. Rather than being a lost puppy, be a tiger for what you really want.
Michele Ann says
I would like to thank you for such powerful information on ways to deal with our destructive thought pattern. I came across your website when I looked for help in ending the thoughts that ran rapid still after my 20 yr marriage ended six years ago.
I have to say I knew I was contributing to those thoughts when I let them take over because I actually wanted to think about them to keep that marriage alive in my MIND.
I finally got a wake up call to my fantasy of his returning to save me from my now present life without him. The wake up was recently finding on line photos of marriage to his girlfriend, up to than I give thought to his returning to me.
I spent six years waiting for his return by keeping a very troubled marriage the focus in my mind. I want to mention the 20 year marriage was spent in thoughts on how to make the marriage work and I carried the thought process into “he will return to me” (delusion). I now saw he is happy without me and is living his life, while I stayed stuck in the past. I want to think you once again for this website…Michele
Gail Brenner says
So much insight here, Michele. Now that you see what’s been happening in your thought process, you can choose differently. Enjoy the freedom!
swati smita patro says
Really it’s just heart touching and your writings are truly motivating
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much, Swati. I’m glad these articles resonate with you.