“You must choose between your attachments and happiness.”
~Adyashanti
I used to live in a world of âif only.â If only the right partner would show up or I wouldnât get caught in traffic or my family life would improve. It was a self-centered lifeâand so frustrating!
If only things would be the way I wanted them to be, then I would be happy. It was all about me, me, me.
Yes, I was able to enjoy myself at times, but I was attached to all kinds of outcomes, big and small, and I suffered for it. Every time I wanted something to happen in a certain way, I set myself up for frustration, stress, and disappointment.
I was tired of the pain, but couldnât figure out a way through it.
Joyfully Opening to What Is
Fast forward to now, and I canât help but smile. Iâve discovered the peace I was longing for right here and now by deeply accepting things as they are.
Amazingly, this peace was always available. I was just too busy wanting things to be different to realize it, and I never thought to question these desires.
Do you react to life with a big âNo?â Do you want it your way, not the way it actually is? Is Now not good enough? Then you are suffering. I know because Iâve been there.
How to find your way out of this trap? With inquiry and understanding. Look within to understand how your personal desires bring about suffering. Feel into the frustration and disappointment.
Then reflect on what it would be like to open to things as they areânot as you want them to be. Youâll discover that the âYes!â to life is the only sane and peaceful way to be.
From Closing to Opening
Every desire contains within it a seed of resistance to what is. You think the present moment is missing something, while your mind says, âif only things were different.â
But each desire also holds the possibility of freedom. Consider these examples.
Hope
Hope is about wanting a better moment at some time in the future. Itâs a story created by the mind, filled with thoughts about how your current situation is lacking.
Hope leaves you waiting, not living. And your experience right now? Unhappy and dissatisfied.
New possibility:
Expand beyond the confining view of hope for a better future, and youâll discover new possibilities available right now.
- Can you give turn away from the mindâs story of hope and breathe..just being present?
- Can you say âYesâ to things as they are, even if your mind tells you it doesnât like them?
- Can you become aware of simply being okay in the here and now?
Expectations
An expectation desires a specific outcome while closing to the possibility of all other outcomes.
You feel frustrated if you donât get what you want and end up resisting what does happen. Itâs like youâre bumping into the âNo!â to life everywhere you turn.
New possibility:
Expand beyond expecting one specific thing. Instead, stay present and open to the possibility of all things.
- Can you let go of trying to control life?
- Can you open in your heart and body rather than being constricted by your thoughts?
- Can you lovingly receive what occurs?
Now youâre available to the freedom thatâs already hereâŠwhen youâre not in your head driven by expectations.
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Feel into how your desires constrict your reality. Can you find the âif onlyâŠâ story?  If only something were different, if only you got what you wanted, then you would be happy or peaceful or content.
Want to be happy, peaceful, or content now? Then stop believing the thoughts that tell you that you donât have what you need. Come home to the felt reality of the present moment, and open fullyâŠthis breathâŠthese sensationsâŠand deep acceptance of all that isâŠ