“Watching the moon at dawn,
solitary, mid-sky,
I knew myself completely,
no part left out.”
~Izumi Shikibu, 1st century Zen poet
As many of you know, I’m fascinated by the topic of trauma, especially the kind that happens early in our lives…the kind that lays down patterns in our minds, bodies, and behavior that we find hard to resolve.
And who doesn’t have those patterns? Parents do their best, but no upbringing is perfect. We may not have experienced obvious abuse, but we all have something in us that we learned in our families early on that makes us feel uncomfortable and separate.
Research shows that the impact of these patterns is profound. They affect our brains and nervous systems during development, and set us up for anxiety, depression, addictions, relationship struggles, and even physical illness.
Moreover, trauma gets passed down through the generations. For the most part, parents with unresolved trauma can’t help but pass their patterns along to their children.
Can you identify the effects of early trauma in you now? Then you are far from alone. Your parents probably had unresolved trauma in their own experience, and their parents, and so on…
It’s a legacy of suffering that continues—until we illuminate it with intelligence, compassion, and truth. This is why I’m so excited that trauma is coming more and more out into the open. You can learn about it, study it, and ultimately take the actions to incline yourself toward the healing of it.
And if you’re wondering what healing trauma has to do with awakening consciousness, consider this.
Awakening is the end of the belief in the separate self. When this belief falls away, everything that lies hidden in you that keeps you feeling disconnected from life comes into the light of loving aware presence, including these subtle early patterns.
Bring this light deeply into the patterns of early trauma, and you’ll discover the root of the feeling of separation—a sense of lack or incompleteness. Experience this feeling in the body—without the story—and you’ll discover there’s nothing real about it whatsoever.
Becoming aware of how early trauma lives in you takes willingness and courage, as you will probably be leaning into scary places you haven’t touched before.
For me, this journey has been fueled by the fire of, “No more!” No more suffering, no more cycling around in the same old patterns that have held me back from the full expression of who I am.
As we get more intimate with the subtleties of these patterns, they’ll start to soften, layer by layer. Stay with it, and there’s more and more space for the light of your true nature to shine through brilliantly.
We’re loving, whole, and resilient at the core. We can do this work.
In my experience, these patterns don’t completely disappear, but they relax tremendously. The pain of the 5-year-old in me still shows up sometimes. It’s an ongoing process to notice the reaction quickly, take a few breaths if needed to calm the nervous system, hold the pain with huge compassion, then return to the knowing of awakened consciousness.
The pain can visit, but it doesn’t take over my experience anymore. I get on with the enjoyment of life in the moment. This is what’s possible for all of us.
How to begin? Carefully, with curiosity and care, fueled by the the desire to be free. Then love what you experience with all your heart.
- Breathe with the feelings that rise up;
- Bring compassion to the stories—and admit that they just don’t fit anymore;
- Understand that the patterns were an intelligent response to difficult situations that came about to protect you;
- Know that you’re moving beyond blame and into freedom.
Adopt a lifestyle focused on your healing that leaves time to slow down and connect with the sacred nature of all things. Don’t hesitate to get support from others, maybe professionals, as you need it. Above all, be infinitely kind toward yourself.
Healing early trauma creates space for something fresh, new, and unknown. Who are you without the old stories? Look what’s here outside of them, and you’ll discover inspiration, creativity, wonder, your unique gifts, and the simple joy of being alive right now.
This healing path is available for you if you choose it. Follow it and it reveals endless intimacy with all of life…