“Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence. “
~Henry David Thoreau
We all have them, so let’s be honest, can we? You know they are there – those places inside yourself that you let hide out in the darkness. They may be memories, feelings, fears, secrets. You try to pretend they don’t exist, yet, in your desperate moments, you admit they are the reason you are not happy.
And oh, what we do to avoid these experiences. We engage in addictions, compulsions, and habits of all kinds. We strategize and rationalize, resist and defend. Anything to keep us from taking off the blinders and meeting ourselves fully and directly.
We live like we are split in two trying to carry on, as the truth is nipping at our heels. And, meanwhile, we deny ourselves the freedom and peace that we long for.
The Fire for Truth
I know whereof I speak, as this is how I lived for years until I got serious about being happy. And once I did, I was on fire. I sought out teachers who could show me the way. I was willing to put my whole life up for grabs for freedom. I became open and receptive.
If you want to know what you are committed to, just take a look at your life, for it speaks volumes. Before my journey began, I lived in a tangled web of confusion, and it showed. Now there is alignment, intention, clarity, and peace.
It is amazing that in any moment, we have the power to make a choice. If you want happiness, you can stop choosing unhappiness. If you want love, you can realize that it is already the essence of who you are. Be inspired, and blast through the limits of what you think is possible.
What Do You Choose?
“How to do this?” you might be asking. Here’s how. Orient your life in the direction of your deepest desire. Honor each sacred moment by intentionally making a choice. Find these qualities in yourself, and make the space for them to flourish.
Be ferocious
Let yourself be on fire for the truth and keep it burning. Be willing to jump into uncharted waters that may be way outside your comfort zone.
Focus
Be single-minded in your desire to know what you need to know to be free. Clear away distractions in your life, which takes honesty and commitment on your part.
Cultivate discipline and diligence
Stay on your path, even when it gets challenging. Know that every moment counts toward freedom.
Embody willingness
Make the commit to do whatever it takes to realize enduring happiness. Let every cell of your being be open to learning and discovering.
Take responsibility
No more blaming, accusing, wallowing, defending, running away, or making yourself into a victim. These are a recipe to keep you exactly where you are. Be willing to investigate your own thinking patterns and emotions and keep your attention there.
Get humble
Give up the need to be in control. Abandon your cherished belief systems about how things are supposed to be. Let go of what isn’t working for you. Find teachers and teachings that support your journey and apply what you learn to your own experience. If you are still suffering, realize that you don’t know everything you need to know.
Set your priorities
Remember that you are always making a choice. Determine your highest priority and align yourself with it in your thoughts and actions.
Discover innocence
Cultivate beginner’s mind. Forget everything you know and approach each moment as fresh and new. Because it is.
Stay enthusiastic
The power of old habits can be very strong. Find ways to keep your intentions and priorities alive in your daily life.
Open to compassion
Be ruthless and compassionate. Meet each moment, even the hard ones, with a full and loving heart.
Trust
Listen to the quiet voice inside you and follow it. Let yourself be moved by your natural intelligence rather than by the mind and thoughts.
Be resilient
It’s a guarantee that you will forget. Your emotions will get the better of you, and you will feel like you are at square one. Go inside to find your inner strength to keep going. Reconnect with what you really want.
Change your life circumstances
It might take time – years, even – but move toward aligning yourself with people and situations that are a reflection of your deepest truth.
Find support
It’s everywhere in books, blogs, online videos, retreats. Keep looking until you find what you need, and when you do, stop. Don’t get caught in endless searching. Take in the teachings and let them flower in you.
I offer you a prayer, from my heart to yours. May your mind be like a still mountain lake without a ripple. May your heart be vast and wide to hold everything unconditionally. May your happiness overflow everywhere.
What is your experience with bringing light to darkness? Anything you want to add or report? I’d love to hear…
My blogger friends Lance Ekum and Tess Marshall have lovingly assembled an e-book of 60 articles entitled “Love Care Donate,” one of mine included, to help the community of Joplin, Missouri that was hit by a tornado on May 22, 2011. Please click here to make a donation of any size to the Heart of Missouri United Way, and you will receive a link to download the book.
Andrew Olson says
Gail, what a great list of ways to bring more light into your life, which is something we can all work on improving.
It reminds me of the analogy that “there is no dark switch”, meaning that darkness doesn’t really have a source, it is simply the pinching off of light. When you get go and allow the light to re-enter, it always overtakes the darkness.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Andrew, and welcome to you,
If we live in the darkness – the habits and patterns that obscure or pinch off the light – we will continue to stay stuck and shifting won’t be possible. What leaves me in awe every time is that we have the possibility of seeing through these obscurations so that the light can shine endlessly. As you say, in the end, light is always more powerful than darkness.
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your comment.
Tracy says
What you’re talking about is just where I am in my life. I know I need to go in a new direction somehow, but don’t yet know what that is. I haven’t wanted to admit until very recently that that will mean letting go of things and interests that I’ve identified myself with, before the new direction will be revealed. I find this a bit scary. A friend of mine who’s just had a radical life change describes this as free-falling. Slowly I’m becoming more open to it. So it helps to have blogs like yours to reinforce that, to feel like there are people out there to come alongside. Thanks for being there!
Gail Brenner says
Tracy,
I am so here for you offering my total support. Where you are is scary, but it is also so exciting. You are right on the precipice of deepening into the authenticity of your life. Who knows where it will take you? But the risk is worth it, I promise you.
You can’t know how your path will open up. Maybe you will free-fall, maybe glide effortlessly, maybe there will be bumps in the road. Have faith and let go. You are courageous in admitting that your identities will fall away. I imagine they weren’t really serving you anyway. Orient yourself toward happiness and freedom with the qualities I describe in this post, and all will be well.
Sending love…
King Author says
You have to have a certain level of determination to clear away all distractions. Focusing is the KEY that unlocks the door to your potential. So many people DONT realize the power of just single – minded focus. They DON’T see that GREATNESS is created when you just sit down, and focus on your craft. With single-minded FOCUS comes GREATNESS!
Gail Brenner says
I couldn’t agree with you more, King Author. If we are clear about what we want and approach it with a laser focus, greatness is possible. From your comment, it sounds like you have first-hand knowledge about this. That transmission comes through and helps to inspire everyone. Thank you.
King Author says
Thanks for having me. And Allowing me to COMMENT!
Galen Pearl says
Oh, this is one of my favorites posts on your blog ever! I love the ferocious/fire images. Reminds me of Pema Chodron telling us to practice like our hair is on fire!!
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I finally wore myself out keeping those demons locked in the basement or trying to outrun them. In fact, my story has been on my mind lately because I was interviewed/profiled on another blog and I told some of it.
Anyway, great post as always, but this one is extra great.
Gail Brenner says
I’m so glad this one touched you, Galen! Yes, like our hair is on fire! That’s what it takes, as you well know.
It’s helpful to hear you say that you wore yourself out trying to keep your distance from those demons. One might call this hitting bottom. When we really get that what we are doing doesn’t work, we become open to something new and unknown, which is actually turning around and being curious about these demons that are driving us.
For interested readers, here is the link to Galen’s interview on Evolving Beings.
Galen Pearl says
Thank you for adding the link to my interview. That was very kind. Also just wanted to say that I very much like your observation about being curious about the demons. That is really what undoes the fear, isn’t it? Thanks for that insight to add to your insightful post!
David says
Hi Gail,
I enjoyed how you have illustrated your points. We have a lot inside us that stays inside. Letting more out to see the light of day is a release & opens us to more positive possibilities. You’re keeping my fire burning. Thank you &
be good to yourself
David
Gail Brenner says
So great to hear from you, David. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Yes, when we clear away the habits that are hiding the light, we are open to what actually serves us. We can take off our masks and be our full, gorgeous selves shining brightly.
Thank you for your wishes. May we all be so good to ourselves…
Sushama S Prahlad says
My life is lit up and I am happy!!
I can relate to every stage that you have mentioned in this post and it has taken me over 4 years to travel through all these stages.
There are times when some concepts would keep getting repeated in the articles and blogs that I read and I would get worked up with myself for just reading and not practising. But now I realise that it was reinforcement.
It also works to experiment your new style with people who are new in your life- say a new work environment and then when the new behaviour becomes your second nature, apply it to everyone and everything around you.
I love your blog and you are a great inspiration for me when I go off track.
Thanks Gail!
Gail Brenner says
So glad that you came by, Sushama.
When we are open, we get the reinforcement everywhere. Every subtle reaction, every moment of bliss…all of it serves to deepen in our understanding of the truth. I love that you mentioned experimenting. How beautiful to break out of the mold and test the waters.
Thank you so much for your inspiring comment. Sending love…
Christopher Foster says
There you go again Gail. Holding up a bright shining light so there is a bit more light in this world. Thank you for this fine post, a pleasure to share both the words and the spirit of it. Such a bright, strong spirit it is.
Gail Brenner says
Big hug to you, Chris. Thank you.
Lance says
Gail,
I really just love what you have shared here. And I’m reminded of a quote that is a favorite of mine:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl
…the power of choice…
As I read this, I also am thinking about something I have just started recently – acting in a play. This was a big step outside of my comfort zone. And it has been so, so good for me! It’s also helped tremendously to go in with a beginner’s mindset (because that’s truly where I am). My part is small. Still, just in doing this – it just feels like it opens me up to the idea of possibilities…
Thanks so, so much for writing this.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Lance,
It’s so great to hear that you are taking the step to act in a play. I love hearing that you are risking outside your comfort zone. It might be scary, but it’s exhilarating!
When we listen to that inner voice that directs us, maybe it tells us to act in a play, then possibilities DO open up. May you enjoy this experience completely.
And thanks for adding the quote – it’s one of my favorites. I love that we have the power of choice.
Michelle says
Excellent!!
Gail Brenner says
Great, Michelle! I’m glad you appreciate it.
Sibyl says
Gail: Great post and really powerful message that the choice is always ours. I really love that and it is so true. I also loved what you said about just opening up your life and throwing everything up for grabs. I think that really is how you embrace change and make sure that you are open to it. As always … really great and powerful advice. Love it all.
Gail Brenner says
I loved reading about your story, Sibyl, and you really did throw everything up for grabs and embrace change. You are a master at inner listening, and your life shows it. Thank you for being the inspiring example that you are.
Jess says
Gail, I just wanted to express my deep appreciation for your posts. I stumbled across your site last week and had to bookmark it because there was just so much wisdom emanating for your writing. I loved this post in particular because I know that I need constant reminders to embrace the qualities that you name in this post in order to continue attempting to live a full, happy, flourishing lifestyle. Thank you for offering your wisdom and insight to all of us and helping us build the best versions of ourselves that we can!
Gail Brenner says
A warm welcome to you, Jess. I am so glad that you are finding what you need here.
I do need to make a distinction, though, if I may. I don’t see what I write about as help to build a better version of ourselves. My approach is one of shedding…everything. The natural essence of who we are is already at peace, clear, open, undisturbed by anything. This is where true happiness lies. As we shed habits, beliefs, ideas, tendencies of all kinds – as these are examined down to the core and seen for what they actually are – they begin to soften and eventually fall away. This applies even to our ideas of ourselves – all identities.
As this shedding takes place, we become more and more transparent, more expressions of the natural state that is already who we are. No doing is needed. My invitation is to give up the effort to build anything and to surrender into the peace and love that are already here.
Happy shedding!!
Jess says
That’s so interesting. I’m curious, I haven’t read back through quite enough of your past posts to have a deep understanding of what you stand for, but I’ve noticed that in each post, you tend to try to inspire the readers to reexamine some concept, habit, belief, etc. that they have. It seems like you provide them with some tool, whether it be a question to ask themselves or qualities to find within themselves. I guess I’d always thought of these tools as the building blocks that one uses in their own personal development process. But thinking through your comment, maybe they are more “unbuilding” blocks, allowing your readers to dismantle the framework that they have always contrained themselves to? Does that make any kind of sense? I guess as a science person, I am just used to seeing ideas expressed like problems to be solved, so I am always thinking of things as steps towards solving a bigger problem. But this helps frame it in a different light for me. Thanks!
Gail Brenner says
It’s beautiful to see you so open, Jess.
Yes, that’s it exactly – unbuilding, dismantling. Consider taking all frameworks – belief systems, expectations, roles and identities – and letting them unravel. Just put them down and see if life functions just fine without them. Maybe you will discover that these are not who you really are.
And please don’t take my word for it. Experiment, play around in your own experience, question everything, and be open to what you might discover.