“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.”
~Eckhart Tolle
“The water hollows out the stone, not by force but drop by drop.”
~Lucretius
Yes, I know it hurts. Whether you feel sad, scared, lonely, or regretful, it weighs heavy like a ton of bricks, dragging you down. And it keeps you from realizing the brilliance that you are.
What do you do to escape from emotional pain? Do you drink or eat to excess, keep yourself ridiculously busy, sit around hoping for a better future? It’s human nature to do everything you can to avoid turning around and meeting the feelings that arise in you. Who wants to feel pain?
No Escaping
But here’s the problem. These temporary measures simply don’t work. Addictions, compulsions, incessant mental spinning. They may dull the pain for a short time, but still it remains, barely below the surface, waiting for you to take a break from all your efforts to avoid it so it can tap you on the shoulder once again. “Remember me?” it says.
So must you resign yourself to a lifetime of pain? No, because pain, even though it seems so real, is a thin veil that covers the truth of who you are.
Your true nature is peace itself, and what you perceive as pain distracts you from experiencing the endless well of contentment that is eternally available. No matter what stories you hang on to, peace is possible for you because it is already who you are.
What it takes to realize this is the option you have been avoiding your whole life – turning to meet the pain. Not to wallow in it. Not to feed the drama. But to face what you have been running from – the experience of emotional pain that seems to have taken up residence inside of you.
Here is where you will discover the treasure at the heart of pain.
The Source of Pain
Most difficult emotions have their roots in events that happened long ago. You experienced a strong emotional reaction to a challenging situation or relationship, and you didn’t have the skills or support to feel it and let it move through you. Instead, it got stuck, lodged in your mind and body, creating layers of contraction and armoring as the years go by.
Fast forward to now, and here you are, desperately wanting relief so you can be at peace. This is your invitation: to discover the treasure at the heart of pain.
Three Blessed Steps
Honor this process that returns you to yourself – your sane and shining self that is not veiled by the past.
First Step: Recognition
First, pause from all the turmoil and recognize that an emotional reaction consists of two experiences: a story line that goes through your mind and physical holding in your body. Whenever you are caught in an emotion, be curious about your experience, and this is what you will discover.
It’s always the same: thoughts and physical sensations, a repetitive story and physical contractions, consumed in your mind and felt in your body.
Second Step: Turning Away
Now, put the story aside. You don’t have to get rid of it, you only need to see the futility of continuing to think it over and over. I mean, haven’t you gone over the same thoughts millions of times? Have they brought you relief yet? In fact, this is why you feel stuck.
You will never find peace by repeating the story in your mind. Never. And once you feel your way into this truth, you start turning away from thoughts every time they appear. It doesn’t matter how often they arise or how much they try to seduce you into thinking they are true or important. Your job is this: to stop feeding useless stories with your attention, every time.
Once I really got this point, everything started to shift.
Do you want to be happy? Stop acting as if your stories are true. Don’t feed them, and here you are, so fresh and alive!
Third Step: Turning Toward
If you aren’t going to think about what happened, where does your attention go? This part may be tricky, but hang in there with me.
In every moment, you are aware. If you are breathing, you are aware that you are breathing. If you are crying, you are aware that you are crying. You can’t possibly have any experience without also being aware of it. You have been aware of everything that has ever happened to you – that is the constant. How could it be otherwise?
If you bring your attention not to things that you are aware of, like thoughts and feelings, but to the awareness itself, you will make some interesting discoveries.
- Memories, ideas, feelings, sounds, sensations, sights – all of these appear and, at the same time, you are aware.
- Awareness is still and spacious. Things just are, no matter what arises in it. It can’t be disturbed.
- Being aware is infinitely patient and utterly accepting.
Putting It All Together
We already have seen that an emotional reaction consists of a story and physical sensations and that feeding stories will quickly take you down the road to suffering. But what about physical sensations?
Undigested emotions from the past get stuck in the body and appear as physical contraction and holding. We tense up on so many levels to protect ourselves from the world. And this is what needs to be liberated.
Grounding yourself as awareness and turning away from thoughts, notice the sensations in your body, and let them be. Let them surface from the recesses of your cells to be seen in the light of awareness. Simply be aware, with great kindness, but don’t do anything.
As you feel the sensations, give them time to come out of hiding, and you will eventually notice they aren’t solid. As you welcome them, they begin to not even feel real. Every time you find a sliver of space in a contraction or a tiny hole in the armor, this is awareness shining through.
Over time, simply be aware. Let sensations be, and they will barely cause a ripple.
How to discover the treasure at the heart of painful emotions? Turn away from the story line, then turn toward yourself – aware, alive, awake, and present. Let the physical contractions release into this space and be the space.
No story…being aware…contractions dissolving…where is the pain?
Have you discovered the treasure at the heart of pain? Questions? I’d love to hear…
Galen Pearl says
It is so helpful to recognize that the earlier experience is stored not just in our brains but also in our bodies. Learning to be self aware of both aspects, in the way you describe, will help break it loose and let it flow on through us. Very good advice. Thanks.
Gail Brenner says
This is really the key, Galen. We think we can think our way out of our problems, but we have plenty of evidence that shows this doesn’t work. Meeting and making space for the contractions stored in the body is where the source of the problem lies and is the key to finding peace from these emotions that are so challenging.
Arun Solochin says
This is why I love you Gail Brenner, you give me truth. I have been running away from this pain so so long. I need to face it now.
Thank You so so much for the wonderful article.
Gail Brenner says
Oh, Arun, I feel the love and send it back to you…
I’m so glad you see that running doesn’t work. It might seem like facing pain will be terrible, but really all we find are strong sensations in the body. Let the story be, and come home to yourself…
Tatiana says
Gail’s newsletters are one of the few that I cherish deeply and read from ‘cover to cover.’ That says a lot in the world of email floods for many of us. I hope she continues the series of useful, helpful, and inspirational newsletters.
Thanks!
Gail Brenner says
Thank you so much for your kind words, Tatiana. Love to you….
Amyra Mah says
This article is so close to my heart. We’re so used to turning away from pain but true liberation takes place when we go into the heart of it and uncover the gift through it.
Thank you, Gail. You’re still my favourite blogger – I love the clarity of your articles; you have a real gift for writing in a way that guides people to the real source of contentment.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Amyra,
I love that you understand the value of turning toward rather than turning away from pain. When we embrace it fully, it is seen as not nearly the monster we thought it would be.
Oceans of love to you…
stuck says
I have read the advice about putting this all behind us but how do you do that? You can’t just say, Be gone. I really need to put some problems out of my head but they keep resurfacing even in my sleep.
Gail Brenner says
Dear Stuck,
I appreciate your question about putting problems behind you. You are right: you can’t just say: Be gone, to thoughts. You can’t make thoughts go away by willing them away or using techniques. Relief from pain comes not by getting rid of thoughts, but by figuring out how to be peaceful even when the thoughts are there. So if you aren’t getting rid of thoughts, what to do?
The answer involves a simple shift of attention, which I know is not so simple to begin with. There are thoughts, and there is your attention. You have control over attention, but not over the appearance of thoughts. So when the troublesome thoughts appear, you shift your attention away from them. You recognize that feeding them by paying attention to them only reinforces them. So you let them go – not to get rid of them, but to not focus on or engage with them.
What do you do instead? Breathe…be…realize that there is so much more that is present than just these thoughts…make space for ease, peace, and appreciation.
Start by shifting your attention away from the thoughts during the day. This eventually creates a momentum that sends a message to the thoughts saying they are no longer in control. And even in your sleep, see if you can move your attention away from the problems by looking for solutions or finishing the story in a positive way. If this isn’t possible, as soon as you wake up, shift your attention away from them.
Find a fire inside of you that says: No more. No more being controlled by thoughts and problems. This opens the doorway to peace. And remember, it’s not about getting rid of thoughts, but in realizing there is so much more that is possible in any moment than to think troubling thoughts.
Wishing you well on your journey…
Shannon says
This was such a timely post, Gail–thank you! I have had a pattern of overeating to deal with emotional pain and I will be doing well for a while but then will start using food as a coping mechanism again when the “going gets rough” emotionally. It is the very definition of insanity, yet I find myself doing it again and again when I get into that pattern. It comes down to exactly what you talk about in this article–not allowing painful emotions to be, not dropping the story and being present–and ironically, using that maladaptive behavior, which I look at as a “quick fix” at the moment, ALWAYS leads to suffering! It’s like the old saying: there will always be pain in life, but there does not have to be (self-created) suffering. Thanks again for the wonderful words.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Shannon,
You have described so clearly what everyone experiences. These habits have a pull that takes some time to unwind. Good for you that you have times when you are dealing well with the emotional pain. When it begins to creep back in, drop the story and be present with the physical sensations. Sensations in the body are the last vestige of habits that have been around for a long time. Instead of allowing emotions, specifically allow the physical sensations. You may discover layers that are waiting to be released. With this allowing, patterns seem to lose their hold.
A question I find helpful is: What do I want in this moment? If you find yourself overeating, the key is pressing pause, then asking, “What do I really want right now?” This gives the space for wisdom to shine through. What a beautiful path you are on…
Susan says
A great post Gail, and a beautiful image you have chosen to symbolize the treasure within the pain.
Early painful experiences do become frozen in our bodies when we contract in fear, and can continue to influence our emotional and physical well-being into adulthood (as research in psychoneuroimmunology illustrates).
As you so clearly explain, it is only by going through the body and fully allowing the physical sensations that we can get to the source of the emotional pain. The mind won’t get us there. Sometimes, in this stillness of allowing the pain to be there, a long forgotten experience that was deeply painful at the time can come into awareness spontaneously. This time we can just witness the scene and feel compassion for everyone involved, in place of the shame, powerlessness or abandonment we felt as a young child. The pain dissolves and the treasure is the understanding we receive about how this event caused a fearful pattern we have been repeating.
This post is very timely for me because I had a profound experience of finding treasure hidden in the pain in the past fortnight. The pattern of powerlessness in one particular aspect of my life (which I have had for years and I know is not related to my capabilities) was finally dissolved.
What happened was I sat with my overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and dread (that was way out of proportion to the situation at hand) and actually asked my heart for the answer. Then I waited. And then a scene from my childhood came into awareness. I won’t explain what it was, but suffice to say it was something that made me feel crushed under the weight of adult expectations and responsibility put on to a small child. I could see how this set up the feeling of powerlessness that surfaces whenever the weight of expectations is very high and the responsibility of my role in the situation is great.
With this insight came a deep feeling of peace and a resurgence of energy. The awful powerlessness is completely gone now, although of course I still have to deal with the situation at hand in a responsible way and the consequences haven’t changed. I can now face the challenge with the emotions of a decisive adult instead of a powerless child. It’s so liberating!
Thank you Gail, as always, for sharing your wisdom and inviting readers to share their experiences too.
Gail Brenner says
I love this, Susan. So helpful to everyone to hear of experiences from the trenches.
Yes, the mind won’t get us there. To really get this is a turning point. Then you stop trying to solve problems with the mind, within the story.
What you describe is beautiful, impartial, impersonal allowing which is what liberates. Thank you.
Mark says
Hi Gail,
Thankyou. I am someone whom has struggled with this immensely. I have often thought of ending things just to escape the pain which at times has seems so far beyond bearable.
I am currently working my way through THE HAPPINESS TRAP and THE REALITY SLAP both by Russ Harris and what was beautiful in this moment was that everything you say is in perfect keeping with his message.
For me – someone plagued by ferocious uncertainty about all – having to respected sources completely concur was tremendously powerful.
Thankyou once again. I read your articles all the time – this is the first time I have commented.
Gail Brenner says
Hi Mark,
Welcome to you, and thank you so much for this first comment. I’m so happy for you that this post came at the right time and agrees with other things you have been reading and practicing.
At the source of uncertainty lies fear. When you feel uncertain, use the tools you already know to meet the sensations of fear. Let go of all labels, and you may be surprised that you notice there is no problem at all. When you meet the fear behind uncertainty, there is space for laser clarity to shine through.
In love and support…
rocky says
nice page
Della Robbia says
Hi Gail,
Thank you for all your posts, but especially this last one. It is helping me untangle things. I’ve been able to let go of the story line and find the pain in my body. The physical pain is easy of course, but I have not dealt completely with the emotional pain of my health issues until now. After reading your post I was able to locate my emotional pain in my throat and found there a silent sustained scream. For two days and nights I stayed with that scream whenever I meditated. It sounds awful but was actually cathartic. Yesterday morning, in checking for the place of contraction in my body I found that it had moved to my eyes and I began to cry…not a lot but it’s a start. The first time I’ve been able to cry since I’ve felt such fear, sorrow and frustration over my health problems. My question has to do with ‘the vast space of awareness.’ I am very aware of being with my pain, wherever I find it in my body, but that space of awareness feels claustrophobic to me. I’m hoping that awareness will begin to open up as I feel more at home with and accepting of this emotional pain. Or am I just weaving another story line?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Della,
What a beautiful path you describe! You show great courage to face what is real – and what has been avoided until now. What you relate here – two days and nights with the silent scream in your throat – this is the kind of fire that is needed to burn through very seductive stories that keep you stuck in suffering. I’m not surprised to hear that it felt cathartic. And, yes, sensation may move, appear here and there, change – your job is simply to be a welcoming presence.
Now you are discovering another feeling, another “object” arising, which is claustrophobia. Just as you did with the silent scream, simply allow it to be. See if there is a subtle story running (I think you suspect there may be one), and then feel the sensations that accompany it. Be with whatever arises. Awareness is already infinitely welcoming and free – it takes some time for the mind to catch up and realize it.
An offering of love to you…
Della Robbia says
Thank you so much Gail. Of course. Just welcome whatever presents itself. Allow it to be there. I forgot these instructions. They’re so simple and yet so hard to remember in the midst of it all.
Gail Brenner says
Della,
I understand the power of conditioning and attachment to stories that make us “forget.” But that’s not a problem. Noticing the forgetting is what makes the blessed remembrance possible.
Cindy Aguilera says
Dearest Gail- What to do when terrifying feelings arise? There are days when I have the scariest thoughts and feelings. Strangest and weirdest thoughts about consciousness. Doubting if consciousness is truly the source of the mind or the other way around. About what it means when I hear that consciousness is conscious of itself etc. The feelings that come with the thoughts are very strong(unpleasant) and I feel that the only thing I can do is watch it… watch it …watch it and tell myself that it`s simply a feeling, simply a thought. Help please!
Gail Brenner says
Oh, Cindy. This is Mara visiting you. When the Buddha sat down so determined to not move until he knew the truth, he was visited by all sorts of demons. This was his test – to see if the strongest desires and emotions could appear in his experience, without disturbing his understanding.
Yes, these are thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations that are visiting you. And in that, they don’t have any meaning – only what you might be giving them with a story. So check and see if a story about them has somehow been woven. What I might also suggest is not just being there as these experiences arise, but then to move your attention to that which is experiencing them. This is consciousness – that which is prior to all objects, that which is aware even when no objects are present. I think you may have been captured by these scary thoughts and feelings. They are simply arisings in consciousness, no matter how weird they are. Take your stand as awareness – pure and innocent, and everything will come and go as it needs to.
Gabrielle says
Gail, thank you so much for the very timely post. The Three Blessed Steps was a great help for me. Thanks again.
Gail Brenner says
You are most welcome, Gabrielle.
Helena says
Gail, Gail, Gail.
‘Its just a story’, yes thats been my substance until now.
I have been lost in limbo for years actually all my life in the sea of pain and helplessnes that’s debilitated all areas of my life.
Wracking my frazzled brain just tonight as to who I should go to for help as I was feeling I was a balloon that had been lost near good from a grasp forever but you got me and I can’t believe this ‘seems so simple’ but powerfully insightfull blog of yours. I get it and it works.
Incredibly yours was the 1st site I got and in the last hour before picking up my iPad I can’t believe what strange universal forces led me here. There must be angels.
You are a treasure and I thank you for having the time to spread your gift.
Gail Brenner says
A warm welcome to you, Helena. I love how life conspires to offer exactly what is needed.
Love to you…
Shailesh Salunke says
As of now I would like thank for such wonderful posts, would love to interact and share in future…
Regards.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Shailesh! So glad you stopped by.
Avi2836 says
Dear Gail…Have you been reading the message of my heart?
Years ago I wandered around in the dark maze of the labyrinth looking for the golden fleece guarded by the fierce dragon…terrified yo meet it but knew I must if I would ever find peace.
I faced it…every single one of the dragons that haunted me. I attempted yo slay them to no avail, they just grew stronger. Attempting to slay them they only grew stronger. I must face them and embrace them. As I did they grew less and less powerful. They began to vanish one by one.
A glimmer of sunlight began to shine through a small crack in that dark maze. The more courage I felt the larger the crack became until the entire maze was ablaze with the Light.
Today I am at peace. Sometimes even bliss and once in a while even a feeling of ecstasy!
Serenity and happiness is as close as my breath…because I know who I AM today. I would be lying if I said it was there 100% of the time. Sometimes the dragons return to haunt me and I need to find a valued friend to talk about what I am feeling and not be ashamed of my feelings. Some time I need to remember not to be a time traveler and go back to the past or leap into an imaginary future. Staying in the present is the only place to live. This is the only real moment there is. The past is a black and white movie from which to learn and the future is only an imaginary delusion. Thank you for your writings… you have faced your dragons as have I.
Gail Brenner says
Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Avi. Trying to slay dragons is actually resisting them, saying “I don’t want you here.” And, as you have found, only gives them power. Facing and embracing is inclusive. It is true welcoming that allows you to investigate the truth of what these dragons actually are, rather than assuming and pushing them away.
Peace is always here, and is realized by the conscious mind when resistance falls away. Your clarity about time – the past and future – is right on. Here, the timeless now, there is being, isness, no story, no problem.
Enjoy yourself…
Nathan says
Hi Gail…thanks for sharing your perspective. I understand where you are coming from when you say “we think we can think our way out of our problems ,but we have plenty of evidence that shows this doesn’t work,” but I have difficulty fully accepting this. I think that opening up to somebody and having somebody to talk to are incredibly important when coping with intense, long-term emotional issues. However, not everybody has such a priviledge…such as a lonely child, or a friendless adult without the means to afford therapy.
In the absence of somebody to talk to about one’s problems, the mind becomes the only realm in which one can make realizations about their feelings: why they arise, what can be done to reduce inner-tension, and also to realize the source of cognitive distortions (and thus come to recognize and overcome such distortions).
For example, one can think about (and recognize) how they came to develop a sense of being inferior to everybody else. The events that occured which ultimately lead to such feelings can be remembered/realized and put within context, and thus one can overcome long-held assumptions of fundamental inferiority.
This is just one example of how inner-dialogue can be used to work through problems in the absence of the support of others.
What do you think? Am I just kidding myself?
Gail Brenner says
Hi Nathan,
The mind and the function of thinking can be, as one of my teachers said, a medicine or a poison.
We all know the poison aspect of the mind. It thinks unhappy, disturbing thoughts over and over. It makes us doubt ourselves, feel unloved and insufficient, and keeps us blaming and not trusting others for decades. These are the distortions you speak about.
Then the mind can be used as a positive tool, medicine. And this is the inquiry or wise investigation (inner dialogue) that you also mention. When you step away from being consumed in challenging thoughts, you can examine them. What is this thought? What belief system is operating? Is it true? How do I feel when I believe and reinforce these thoughts? What else can I do other than think them? And, most importantly, what is the nature of this aspect that can investigate thoughts without being consumed by them? These questions are a useful, essential inquiry that can point out the truth.
For many people, it can be very helpful to have another person to talk to. From my own experience, I would say that it is essential. The power of the mind – and emotions – is so strong, that it helps to have some guidance to see outside of it. If therapy isn’t affordable, with the internet there are so many resources: videos on youtube, helpful sites, bloggers like me who answer questions. online meetings that don’t cost a lot. There is a saying that goes something like this: if you are truly ready for a teacher, the teacher will come. Those who have a fire for guidance to be free will find their way.
There is support everywhere – more than we can imagine. Life brings us exactly what we need to support awakening. It is a matter of how we use it.
In love and support…
Amit says
Hello Gail,
I read your mail earlier and took time to read your replies Today. They are so full of compassion and love! You are there for each one of us like an angel. You are sharing every ones grief and offering your unlimited and unending love.
Saying is “old habit die hard.” I live in this love and hate relationship during the day. Many times during the day due to my absent minded nature, I tend to forget things and I have to hear hurtful words. This happens many time during the day. Thought is very smartly capturing (hijacking) me from the present before I realize. In spite, I still feel I am fortunate to share those lovely moment of silence and peace many times during the day.
Please tell me what can I do to free me from this forgetfullness.
Regards.
Amit
Gail Brenner says
You are on the right track, Amit. The mind is highly conditioned, and it feels like we are hijacked by it. But it offers only thoughts that have no inherent meaning. These arise from the truth of yourself, the space that is conscious, aware, and alive. Thoughts are like clouds passing through. They are temporary. And even when they are present, you, consciousness, shines. When thoughts appear, see that consciousness is also present. In fact, you couldn’t notice or think thoughts without being conscious. Shift your attention to this awareness, then thoughts arising are not a problem.
Anything that is temporary is not real. So moments of silence and peace, lovely as they are, come and go. They are not real, and it is not the goal to always feel peaceful. Only that which is never-changing, always present is real. It is the aliveness that is you! Live there, and there is no resistance, no problem.
Sending love…
Amit says
Hello Gail,
Thank you for your prompt reply.
Many time during the late evening, when I can stay alone with my self, when all others in the family are sleeping, I try to sit and be with myself. Somehow I begun to feel bored, dull and drowsy and later I fall asleep.
You say that the present is real, Even in boredom and dullness this consciousness is present! Habituated doing something with the purpose does not allow me to stay with this aliveness, with my own self. Please help!
Regards.
Amit
Gail Brenner says
Hi Amit,
Lucky you! You have the opportunity to investigate boredom and drowsiness. Try shifting your attention to being aware and be curious about boredom. What is it? How does it feel in your body? Yes, aliveness is present – simply masked by boredom. Rather than trying to get back to aliveness (so much effort!), just be with what is here, now in your experience. Always start right where you are.
Beautiful journey…
Reinvention of Mama says
Incessant mental spinning – oooohh this is me! I worry and worry and worry over our next steps, long before it’s time. I’m going to have to read through this a few more times.
Then worry about if I’m doing it correctly. 😉
Gail Brenner says
Hi there, Mama,
The worry that you describe often has its roots in fear. Explore your experience and see what else is happening besides the mental spinning. How is your body feeling? What sensations are you experiencing?
As a recovered worrier, I have found it very useful to bring my attention to the breath and sensations in the body rather than endlessly feed the spinning mind.
Ash says
This is an old post, but I recently discovered your writing and have been digging through your archive. This post really resonated with me. I got out of a bad relationship 3 years ago and left that person and my home state a year ago. Recently, even though I thought I had let go of that relationship and the hurt, I was flooded with emotions such as sadness, guild and anger and contacted my ex… And to no surprise, she has not changed and our dynamic will never be as I had hoped it could be even after time has passed.
I recently started antidepressants to help regulate my emotions, especially my anxiety and have been very self-destructive (drinking, smoking, abusing medications prescribed).
I have been reading through your blogs all day and can say that I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Coming to terms of what is and the reality of things has truly been something I have been avoiding and reading this article helped me come to terms with that. Thank you and please continue to write. I look forward to your posts.
Gail Brenner says
Welcome to you, Ash! So sweet to hear from you. Not being truthful with what is breeds emotional pain and the potentially addictive behaviors you mention. Even though it might sound paradoxical, meeting the painful feelings that are here and seeing situations clearly, not as we wish they were, is the way to peace. I’m happy you’ve found something useful here.
Sending love…
Tom says
Hi Gail,
I have a question about our true nature, awareness.
In your post you say : “In every moment, you are aware.” But in deep sleep or when I’m under narcosis I’m not aware. How can you say that we are awareness when we aren’t always aware?
Warmly,
Tom
Gail Brenner says
Hi Tom,
Thank you for your question!
I think what you’re saying is that when you are in deep sleep, the mind is not aware of this experience and therefore can’t report on it. Does this mean that awareness isn’t aware, that somehow awareness has gone away or disappeared? When “you” fall asleep and the mind relaxes, awareness goes nowhere.
Let’s be very specific about what you’re referring to by saying “I.” You are not the mind or the content of any thoughts. These are objects that arise and fall in awareness, temporary arisings that come and go. Play with relaxing the mind completely and taking your stand as awareness that doesn’t come and go. Does it matter if you as the person are awake or asleep? Awareness just is, endlessly….
Love to you…
Tom says
Hi Gail,
Thank you for your swift reply!
I understand that the body and mind are objects that arise and fall in awareness.
Where I’m stuck is, how can I, awareness, have the experience of going nowhere, being ever present when the body is in deep sleep or better when the mind is shut down?
Warmly,
Tom
Gail Brenner says
Hi Tom,
It seems that you are trying to understand awareness with your mind. Awareness just is – it doesn’t think about itself – whether or not the body is asleep, whether or not the person is thinking about it. It is the fundamental ground of being prior to all objects and it is unaffected by objects coming and going. “It” doesn’t change or move when the body goes to sleep – or even dies. A useful metaphor might be the sky and clouds. Nothing changes in the sky no matter what clouds are coming across it – it just is. Does that help?
I think you are thinking that if the mind isn’t aware to know awareness, then awareness must not be here. But the mind isn’t capable of making this discrimination.
Tom says
Hi Gail,
Yes this helps, thank you very much!
As an analogy could you say that the mind is like a painting that never can know the painter?
Thank you again for your patience to help me understand!
Warmly,
Tom