“I feel like a loser.” These were the words of a friend of mine, as we were sitting over coffee, and it just didn’t compute. Before me I saw a beautiful being with such a tender heart. And in listening to her story, I again became aware of the impressive power of the mind.
Every time she showed excitement or clarity, in a split second her thoughts derailed her. “I can’t…” “It won’t work…” No wonder she felt like a loser. Her thoughts were constantly telling her these lies that she couldn’t find her way out of.
The Pain of Thinking You’re Inadequate
These are the kinds of painful thoughts that get us into so much trouble. They somehow take up residence in our minds, living there for decades, stealing our happiness, creativity, and well being.
These thoughts are familiar, and, without realizing it, we keep putting them on over and over like your favorite pair of jeans.
We believe what these thoughts tell us, and they unknowingly create our reality.
But these negative, denigrating thoughts have nothing to do with our true identity. Because these thoughts aren’t real. They’re a temporary gust of energy that travels through your mind. They’re sounds with no actual meaning.
But just reading these words may not be enough to find the wholeness that is already your natural state. How many times have you heard, “You’re perfect just as you are” or “You’re not inadequate—it’s only your thoughts?”
These statements are true, but they don’t become our reality until we know them in our bones. We need to own these truths and know that they are absolutely real.
If you want to continue living the painful belief of your personal inadequacy, then read no further. But if you really want to know the truth of you, if you’re sick and tired of feeling the weight of not being able to fully and freely be alive in the world, then bring your attention to your own direct experience. Do the work, because that’s the key.
Learn to inquire into your thoughts. Learn how to turn toward your feelings and embrace them with love and intelligence. And experiment—in the unfolding moments of your beautiful life—with knowing you are whole, boundless, open, and infinitely free.
Inquire into Your Thoughts
The simple act of inquiring into your thoughts is revolutionary. Inquiring cuts through well-worn assumptions and habits of mind. We take the programmed thoughts that run outside of conscious awareness, and we put them under the microscope.
Suddenly, what you took for granted as true is now completely fresh. Instead of being defined by these thoughts, you wonder about other possibilities.
And here’s what we examine:
Are these thoughts actually true? Are you really damaged, inadequate, or destined for mediocrity? Take any thought that has defined you, and question it, asking if it is true.
What is the impact of these thoughts? Say that one of your mantras is, “I could never succeed at that.” How does that thought make you feel? How does it affect your behavior? What does it do to your soul?
Do these thoughts accurately represent who you are? Feel how limiting thoughts contract you into a tiny space with no room to breathe. And begin to consider what’s outside this space. Get a sense of you, your real truth, without these thoughts defining you. Become aware of your essential nature limited by nothing. You’ll find it outside of your thoughts.
Turn Toward Your Feelings
Your identity of inadequacy is not just about your thoughts. You also feel it in your body.
And if you want to see through it into your true magnificence, turn toward your feelings. Is fear rage, or disappointment present? Go beyond the story to welcome the sensations that arise in your body.
Open to all of your experience, including feelings that may be hiding out in the shadows of your awareness.
Welcome the way the feeling lives in your body. See what it’s like right now in your experience without going into your head and into the false story of incapable you.
Then let it all be. Realize the space that allows things to be exactly as they are. Don’t resist, just be.
Experiment Living Who You Already Are
Now that you’ve seen these thoughts of lack and you’ve turned toward the feelings, act from the fullness that is absolutely alive in you.
Stand up in your brilliance. The thoughts may be present, but you don’t have to buy into them. The feelings may come, but you don’t need to let them run the show.
This belief that you’re not worthy is a mask that hides this truth: you are whole. Take off this mask, and begin to step into your truth.
Expand your mind beyond habitual thoughts. Breathe new life into your body. Then see how life wants you to shine.
What About You?
Have you discovered your natural wholeness? Bogged down by feeling inadequate? Please share in the comments. And if you’re reading by email, please click here to visit GailBrenner.com and to comment.
Always in love,