You Are Not Your Thoughts: A Skillful Practice

How We Speak to Ourselves

For most of us, it takes time to untangle ourselves from the content of our thinking, and a skillful practice along the way is to be accurate in the language we use.

It’s common to say something like,“I’m unlovable.” What’s more accurate is: “Thoughts are arising in me telling me I’m unlovable.”

You might say, “I’m worried.” But a more accurate way to describe what’s actually happening is to say, “Worrying thoughts are arising in me.”

When you say, “I’m worried,”or “I’m unlovable,” you believe you’re the one who is worried or unlovable along with all the implications about yourself and the world that go with that identity.

But “worrying thoughts are arising in me,” or “thoughts are arising in me telling me I’m unlovable,” changes everything. You’re no longer identifying with what the thoughts are telling you…and immediately  there’s a sense of spaciousness and relaxation…

Now let’s apply this practice to feelings. Instead of saying, “I’m feeling anxious,” you might say, ‘The feeling of anxiety is arising in me,” or, “Sensations are appearing in me that feel like anxiety.”

Can you feel how powerful it is to separate yourself from your thinking?

Your Thoughts Don’t Describe You Accurately—Who Are You?

What I’m suggesting may sound like an awkward way to describe your experience, but it’s much closer to the truth than identifying with your thoughts. Here are some benefits to this practice.

First, it’s a quick and obvious reminder that you are not your thoughts. It helps you to break the identification with your thoughts so you’re not taking them personally.

Yes, that’s what I mean. As the quote above from Byron Katie says, your thoughts aren’t personal to you—they just appear in the space we call the mind.

Once you’re less attached to the contents of your mind (which are mostly negative), you become aware of the possibility of being here…present in the moment freshly…with openness, curiosity, and wonder.

Second, it invites you to question who you are and who you’re not. If anxiety or a judging thought arises in you, then who is the you that the thought arises in? Feel yourself settle into wide open space that’s simply aware, free of content.

What’s true about you if you are not what your thoughts tell you what you are?

Your Turn

Not it’s your turn to try out this practice. Close your eyes and notice the thoughts or feelings that are arising right now. Say, “These thoughts and feelings are arising in me.”

Now shift your attention to the “me” that these forms are arising in. You’ll become aware of open space, ease, and well-being, undefined by thinking.

What a discovery! Now you know you are not your thoughts! Don’t connect yourself with the content of your thinking, and you’ll touch the open secret of peace beyond peace…